Friends and Foes
by Alec Star
Summary: AU set in season 3. Buffy returns to Sunnydale but some things have changed since she ran away.
1. Chapter 1: Homecoming

Disclaimer: As you probably already know these characters and concepts don't belong to me, I'm just borrowing them for a while (without permission) and I promise to put them back where I found them once I'm done playing with them... oh, yes, and I'm not making any money out of this.  
  
Summary: AU set in season 3. Buffy returns to Sunnydale but some things have changed since she ran away.  
  
AU roadmap: Okay let's see, seasons one and two basically happened according to canon so I guess all you really need to know is that this story begins during Buffy's party in "Dead Man's Party" but there are no zombies here, just a bunch of loud kids and Giles was merely delayed in traffic. There are some things that will differ slightly from canon before that but those will be explained later. Anything that took place after that may or may not happen in this universe so canon after that should **_not_** be taken for granted and even those events that do happen may deviate slightly from the official timeline.  
  
POV will be primarily Giles's though it may switch to Buffy's (or maybe even other characters') in those scenes in which Giles is not there.  
  
Warning: Chances are you are **_not_** going to like this. Parts of this fic are going to be disturbing to say the least and those bits are not going to be swept under the rug. If you want Buffy to always land on her feet no matter what, look elsewhere (and **_no_**, that doesn't necessarily mean that this fic will have an unhappy ending, just that things may get fairly rough at times). This story is rated as PG-13 because it's not descriptive enough to warrant a higher rating but subject-wise some parts of it may actually come close to R.  
  
Now on to the story.  
  
Friends & Foes  
Chapter 1: Homecoming  
  
I was delayed getting here. Sometimes I wonder how a town this small can possibly have such an uncontrollable traffic problem but then again, with people driving whenever they have to go to the convenience store that is located less than half a block away, maybe I shouldn't be so surprised by it. It's like some of these people have entirely forgotten that they actually have legs.  
  
As soon as I walk into Buffy's house I know there's a problem. The party is in full swing, totally out of control and an unmitigated disaster as far as I can tell. I knew it was a bad idea, this was not what Buffy needed. What she needed was a chance to get her bearings, to get reacquainted with those closest to her, to be made feel welcome by those she cares about. I search the room, looking for her but she's nowhere to be found, that doesn't bode well. I look for Willow and then for Joyce but I can't find them either. I spot Xander and Cordelia, oblivious as usual to everything that is going on around them and Oz is playing with his band. I wonder whether I should go upstairs but before I can make up my mind I see Buffy storming down the stairs with Willow and Joyce hot on her heels. They are obviously arguing over something and I know it's going to be bad when I hear Joyce say "don't you leave this house, young lady!"  
  
It was loud enough to cause Xander and Cordelia to let go of each other and I cringe for Buffy's sake. This is not the time or place for this but I can see that Joyce is beyond caring as she grabs her by the elbow and screams "that's it! You and I are going to have a talk."  
  
All eyes turn to them and there's nothing I can do as Buffy all but begs her mother to stop. Joyce simply doesn't care and she tells her that much, it's like she can't even see her despair. All her worry, all the fear she's endured during the summer comes pouring out of her, directed at her daughter... and Buffy's friends seem to be ready to join the fray.  
  
I am shocked to learn that Joyce actually kicked Buffy out of the house. I knew they had fought, I knew that learning Buffy's secret had been difficult for her mother but she never told me the awful words she had hurled at her own daughter.  
  
I look around, worried now not just for Buffy's well being but also because of what may be said in anger. There are secrets in this room, secrets that must be protected. A part of me is relieved to see most of the 'guests' retreat as fast as they can and I hope it will be fast enough. I see Buffy too is aware of their presence and she is mortified by it, though for an entirely different reason. She challenges one boy who is standing by the dip and that causes the others to clear out even faster... then my eyes land on an older woman I have never seen before. She's staying put and I know right away she's a friend of Joyce's. That's not good, she shouldn't be here for this but there's nothing I can do about it. This is not my house and my hands are tied.  
  
I'm relieved to see that all the kids are gone but my relief is short lived as I hear Xander launch the first volley, accusing Buffy of being selfish. I understand where he's coming from --I too was hurt by her disappearance, I won't deny that-- but I know her well enough to realize that she must have had her reasons, to know that I owe her at least a chance to let her explain. I can see she's not going to get it, not now.  
  
She tries to get them to back down but they are not listening. Her so-called-friends are going on and on about how much they needed her and how she wasn't there for them, how she let them all down after she was forced to kill the demon that wore the face of the man she loved. I am sickened when Cordelia mockingly describes what she perceives to be Buffy's life and Willow, the one I had hoped would have understood, is as unforgiving as the rest of them.  
  
They haven't registered my presence yet, not really, they are all too wrapped up in their own rage and I know there's nothing I can say without making it worse so I just take my place behind Buffy and I rest my hand on her shoulder, giving her my silent support, letting her know she's not alone. That seems to calm her down, at least a little, and I'm relieved by that, seeing how she was on the verge of losing control, of reacting physically to Xander's stupid provocation. I may have gotten her to step back from the brink but that won't help unless I can get **_them_** to stop. One look at their faces tells me that it is hopeless and I know things are bound to get worse before they get better.  
  
I glare at Joyce's friend who is still here, gawking at the scene in morbid fascination. I wish she would just take the hint and leave. This is not the place for her but I realize almost immediately that she is not going anywhere. I know the type, a busybody who gets off on other people's misery. I can see the glee in her eyes. As far as she's concerned this is entertainment.  
  
The room falls silent for a moment but I can still feel the tension continuing to mount and I know something is about to give. It's like we are in the eye of the storm and I suddenly have the sinking feeling that, what ever it is that is coming, I'm **_really_** not going to like it.  
  
Before I know it Joyce is back on the offensive. I too am shocked by the knowledge that Buffy was about to run again, but I wonder what could possibly have happened in these past few hours to make her feel so unwelcome that she feels she can't stay here. I can see that we are looking at an incomplete picture, there's something we are still missing... something that just doesn't add up. It's not just that they are making Buffy feel unwelcome, though they are doing a wonderful job at that, it goes deeper than that.  
  
It's taken me a very long time but by now I know Buffy well enough to see past her front and her defensive deceptions. She may be fooling them with her anger but she's not fooling me. She's more afraid than anything else right now and I can tell she is hiding something. I can feel her anguish rolling off of her in waves and I steel myself for the blow I know is coming. Whatever it is that's causing her this pain, it goes beyond her mother and her friends. I know she won't be able to hold on for much longer... in fact I'm surprised she's made it this far... and yet they keep adding fuel to the fire with their accusations and their demands, not caring about the damage they are doing with their words. I almost laugh out loud when I hear Joyce selfishly accuse her daughter of being selfish. My sympathy for the woman is diminishing rapidly now. For months we've worked together trying to find Buffy, trying to get her to come home. All this time she kept from me the secret of what she'd said, she blamed me when she was just as guilty and now... now she is pushing her away again.  
  
And then it happens. Buffy snaps, doing the only thing she can to make them stop, shocking them all into silence with the words I **_hadn't_** wanted to hear but had been dreading nonetheless... words that still reverberate in the sudden quiet that follows in their wake:  
  
"No, you just expect me to come home and go back to being your sweet little girl, the one who doesn't know what it's like to have to spread her legs for a twenty, and I can't do it! I don't know how to **_be_** her any more!"


	2. Chapter 2: Breaking the Surface

For disclaimers, notes and warnings please see Chapter 1**_  
  
Chapter 2: Breaking the Surface  
_**  
After a few seconds of stunned silence Joyce's reaction to Buffy's statement is explosive. She bolts from the room while the Scoobies remain completely shell-shocked. I turn to look at Buffy --not quite knowing what to say or do under the circumstances-- and I see her standing there alone, with her eyes shut, her fists clenched tight at her sides and almost visibly shaking. She's in full fight or flight mode even though neither one of those options is likely to help her now. I am torn between staying with her and trying to help her calm down or going after Joyce who I now realize has been followed by her own friend. I know Buffy is not really ready to listen to anything I could possibly say. For the time being I am powerless to help her and I hate it.   
  
A part of me fears what the Scoobies might say if they were to pull themselves out of their shock but the rational part of my mind knows I can't afford to stay with Buffy to protect her from them, not now. There's just too much at stake and I am aware that what I have to say to Joyce can't wait. No matter how long I put it off I know she's not going to like it, so I decide to seize the moment and after glaring a silent warning to the Scoobies I squeeze Buffy's shoulder, ask her to wait for me and lie to her by promising that everything will be fine. A slight nod is the only sign I have that she's even heard me but I know that's all I'm going to get for the time being. With that minimum level of reassurance I leave her to go after her mother, determined to get the woman to agree to do what I know must be done.  
  
She may be happy to have her daughter home but I know right now Buffy cannot be allowed to stay here. They are both going to need some space if Joyce is to have a chance to deal with the fallout from Buffy's revelation without causing her daughter any additional damage. Whether she likes it or not Joyce is going to have to readjust some of her expectations, she's going to have to come to terms with the knowledge of what her daughter went through and with her share of the blame for what has happened. It may not have been the best way to put it, but Buffy was right when she said that her mother just expects her to come home and pick up where she left off, that Joyce wants her to be the same girl she used to be and the fact is that she may not be able to be that person right now.   
  
I am not blind, I know Joyce deeply resents my role in her daughter's life and that is bound to make this even more difficult but for the time being I believe what's best for Buffy is to stay with me for a few days so that she'll be able to get reacquainted with her mother without the constant pressure of her expectations and the ghost of the way things used to be.  
  
In spite of my earlier resolve I find myself hesitating outside Buffy's room, where her mother has taken refuge, surrounded by her memories of the girl who ran away and clutching a familiar stuffed pig to her chest. I know this must be done and I know her confusion is something I must take advantage of but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I knock on the door and when she turns to me the look on her face is almost enough to make my previous anger at her callous treatment of her daughter disappear.  
  
Once again I see Joyce's friend with her but this time I don't let my manners hold me back. I tell her that I need to speak to Joyce privately and ask her to give us a minute. She doesn't look happy about that and she turns to Joyce hoping that she will tell her to stay. I'm relieved when she repeats my request... I can only hope she won't go back downstairs. I really hate this situation with the Scoobies unable to understand and me literally having to be in two places at once. I should be with Buffy right now and I'm determined to get this over with as quickly as I can.  
  
The moment Joyce's friend leaves us alone I just blurt it out, knowing that there's no delicate way to say this.  
  
"I want Buffy to come stay with me for a few days."  
  
"No, absolutely not. She just came back and I'm not letting her out of my sight."  
  
"I understand that. You want to keep her safe, as do I, but right now this is not the best place for her."  
  
"This is her home!" she almost screams.  
  
"Yes, I'm not denying that," I say, knowing that I'm going to have no choice but to be the rational one here, "but can you honestly say that you will be able to deal with your feelings regarding what she just told us without hurting her, without blaming her, without making her feel like a disappointment... without making it worse for her?"  
  
"I don't know, can you?" she challenges me.  
  
"I don't know," I admit honestly, "I can try but the truth is I'm not sure, however I'm not her mother. I don't want to take her away from you, that's not what this is about. This is about what she needs and right now I believe she is more likely to make it through this with my mistakes than with yours. She's going to need you to be there for her one hundred percent and in order to do that you are going to need some time to pull yourself together."  
  
"But to let her go now..." she trails off.  
  
"At least that way you'll know she's safe. Earlier tonight she was ready to take off again, are you willing to take that chance?" I wait until I see Joyce shake her head and then I go on, "coming home is not going to be easy for her, all I want is for her to have the space she needs to do it, to give her a chance to reintegrate gradually into her life. I don't think she will be able to do it living here. Look around, do you think she's ready to cope with all these reminders of the way things used to be? For months you've kept this room almost like a shrine, waiting for Buffy's return. I would have done the same thing, I'm not blaming you for it, all I'm saying is that you made sure everything here remained unchanged but you couldn't keep Buffy herself from changing. Try to put yourself in her place and then take a look at this place, try to imagine how this room looks to her, what memories it brings back."  
  
"So, we can redecorate," she says, trying desperately not to think.  
  
"You may have to," I tell her, "eventually, but right now a paint job won't help you. You know I love Buffy as if she were my own, you know I'd never hurt her and right now we both want her to be safe... we want her to **_feel_** safe. The point is that we both want the same thing: We want Buffy to come home and be whole but that won't happen unless we give her a chance to decompress. She was down too deep for far too long and right now surfacing too soon could kill her so it's going to have to be a gradual process and we are going to have to work together if we want to get her there."  
  
"How long?" says Joyce, catching me totally off guard.  
  
"How long what?" I ask.  
  
"How long would she have to stay with you?" she explains.  
  
"I'm not sure," I tell her honestly, "I'd have to try and talk to her first, get a better idea of how bad it really is before I can even begin to answer that question. I guess it's probably going to be somewhere between a week and a month. As long as it takes for **_both_** of you to feel comfortable around one another. You will be able to see her whenever you want, of course, but you will also have the option to put some distance between you if you feel you are about to hurt each other. You wouldn't be able to do that if you were living together."  
  
"And how can you be so sure you won't hurt her yourself?" she asks.  
  
"We have no expectations when it comes to living together, she has never stayed with me before so I'm hoping that will eliminate a major flash point," I explain, "also, as I said, I believe right now she's far more likely to survive my mistakes than yours. I love her, but even if something were to happen in these coming weeks that were to damage our relationship beyond repair I would lose her, but I think she would still have a good chance to make it through this. As her mother you just don't have that kind of leeway."  
  
"You care for her that much?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"We'll do it your way, at least for now... and thank you."  
  
I sigh --relieved by the fact that we seem to have come to an understanding of sorts-- and then Joyce looks at me and asks the dreaded question, "so, do you know how are we supposed to get her to agree to go with you without making her feel like I'm rejecting her?"


	3. Chapter 3: Good Intentions

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers please see Chapter 1._**

Chapter 3: Good Intentions  
  
As soon as we get home I suggest to Buffy that maybe she should take a shower, thinking that maybe it will help her relax. I know she needs a chance to unwind after everything that happened back at her mother's house and the truth is that I too could use a chance to gather my thoughts before I confront her again. I know we are in for a long night and I know it's not going to be pretty but there are too many questions I need her to answer and there are also things I don't think it would be healthy to allow Buffy to keep to herself... and as painful as this is going to be now, getting her to talk to me would be a lot harder if I were to give her a chance to regroup and rebuild her defenses.  
  
While I listen to the shower I keep myself busy in the kitchen fixing us a tray with tea and her favorite cookies... comfort food that I know will offer little comfort. When I hear the water stop I know I'm out of time. A couple of minutes later she emerges from the bathroom and I'm shocked by how tiny she looks. She's barefoot, thinner than she was and her sweats seem to be about two sizes too big... with her hair pulled back into a simple ponytail and no make up she looks about fourteen.  
  
"Those are my favorites," she says in a small voice, eying the cookies.  
  
"I know," I tell her, though for some reason I can't bring myself to admit that over these past few months I've always kept a considerable stash of them at hand in hopes that she would come home to eat them... that I ate them myself because they reminded me of her. When she remains silent I look at her and I realize that she's still staring at those cookies. "What is it?" I prompt her.  
  
"Nothing, it's just that..." she trails off.  
  
"What?"  
  
She doesn't answer, she just shakes her head and I can see she's on the verge of tears. Something is obviously upsetting her but I can't even begin to imagine what it could possibly be. I struggle against myself for a moment before finally gathering the courage to go up to her, pull her into a hug and ask her again what is the matter.  
  
"It's just that..." she still doesn't seem to be able to bring herself to tell me and I decide to wait her out. I'm rewarded when after a few seconds she goes on, "I hadn't even allowed myself to think how long it's really been since anyone gave a damn about what I liked or what I wanted."  
  
"It's okay, you are home now, you are safe," I say steering her toward the couch and urging her to sit down.  
  
"Just don't go, please."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere. Are you ready to talk?" I know she's confused right now but I don't think this can wait.  
  
"Why do I get the feeling that it's not like you will take 'no' for an answer?" she asks, almost teasingly. I can see her weak attempt at humor for the defense mechanism it is but I decide to play along.  
  
"Maybe because you know me," I say before asking as softly as I can, "why didn't you just come home, Buffy?"  
  
"I didn't know if I had a home to come to. I mean, I kept hoping my mom hadn't really meant what she'd said but I wasn't sure and I didn't think I could take her rejection if she'd really meant it so I stayed away and after what Angelus did to you I just couldn't bring myself to face you... besides there was the whole thing with the police and Kendra's death and I really didn't know what to do. That's why I ran."  
  
It takes me a while to make sense out of her ramblings and then I try to imagine what that must have been like for her, I promised myself that I'd try to understand, that I wouldn't judge her, but I need to know what happened after she left, where she's been... and what she did while she was gone.  
  
"Where did you go?"  
  
"LA," she says refusing to go into any more detail than that.   
  
"Can you tell me about it?" I say, trying to encourage her to open up a little.  
  
"I think you already know... I wasn't exactly subtle back at my mom's."  
  
"Yes, you are right, but I know you. You are strong, courageous and resourceful so I don't understand what could possibly have driven you to do that," I say, unable to bring myself to speak --or even think-- the words... I don't have to, I know she understands.  
  
"Good intentions, I guess," comes the sarcastic reply.  
  
"What do you mean 'good intentions'?" I ask, truly confused as to what she could possibly mean by that.  
  
"Child protection laws," she explains, "when I arrived in LA I discovered almost immediately that I couldn't get a real job without my mom's consent... not a legal one anyway. Eventually I managed to get one washing dishes at a small diner. The owner was a sleazeball, shifts lasted twelve hours or more and pay was way below minimum wage but I wasn't exactly in a position to complain about it. Anyway, after that --when I went looking for a place to live-- I ran once again into the same problem: being underage and having no parental permission meant almost no one was willing to rent me a room and the creeps who were willing to look the other way wanted far more money than I could afford to pay so I was stuck. My boss told me that he had a small storage room with a cot in it in the back and that I could stay there... I was so relieved. That same night he came into the room looking for 'the rent', if you know what I mean."  
  
And I do, not trusting my voice I just nod and she goes on.  
  
"I didn't want to do it but the bastard owned me and he knew it. Without him I didn't have a job or even a roof over my head, besides he threatened to turn me in to social services, to have me sent home or put into the system. He thought I was just another runaway but I was terrified because I didn't really know whether or not the police were still after me for Kendra's murder so I just let him do what he wanted. I hated it. The first time, when he was pounding into me, it was all I could do to keep myself from throwing up. Before he left he warned me that I'd better be ready for him the next evening or I'd regret it. I didn't know what to do. It wasn't a good situation but I figured I was still better off servicing him than working the streets and I knew I didn't really have any other options so I stayed.  
  
"On the third night something happened. He was rough and he bit me, hard enough to draw blood..." she says, rubbing her right shoulder and I can see she's reliving the pain. By now she's almost in a trance, lost in the memories and I decide against trying to pull her out of it, realizing that she needs to distance herself from her own story. I wait and eventually she goes on.  
  
"I didn't really think much of it at first but then the next evening when he came back he noticed that the bite was completely healed and after that things got worse... a lot worse. He became fascinated with my healing so he kept hurting me more and more, seeing how much I could take. A little over a week after that I decided that I'd had enough. I knew my choices were still basically the same --staying there or working the streets-- but by that time I'd figured I'd be safer choosing the streets. I mean, I knew I could handle any john that got too rough and they wouldn't know me so I'd have an advantage. In a sense working the streets I'd be able to say 'no', to choose which cars I was willing to get into and set some boundaries as to the things I was willing to do... besides, as long as they were strangers they wouldn't know to use my slayer healing against me.  
  
"I moved into an abandoned warehouse, way across town from the diner. There were a bunch of kids there... some were dealing drugs, most were working the streets. I started working myself, not much, just what I needed in order to keep myself from starving... that usually meant a couple of tricks a night, except when I really needed to save a few bucks, then it was more than that. It was bad but not nearly as bad as what I had been through before... I guess the worst part was the feeling that I was losing myself. After a while I didn't really know who I was any more. It was like I was invisible... just there to be used. I didn't have a name and even though I tried to make myself look pretty, attractive, I knew the johns didn't really care about that. It wasn't my face they were interested in.  
  
"At one point I thought about coming home... after a whino took me in an alley. It was just a quickie but I remember that there were garbage cans all around me and I remember the stench... and I remember thinking that that was where I belonged. I knew something was wrong with me then and I almost got on the bus after that but in the end I got scared."  
  
"What convinced you to return?" I ask softly, doing my best to keep the shock out of my voice... and failing miserably.  
  
"A demon. One of the girls living in the warehouse was someone I had helped here in Sunnydale. She knew who I really was so I tried to avoid her as much as I could. I just didn't want the reminder and she usually respected that but when her boyfriend disappeared she asked me to help her. I didn't want to do it at first but then we found his body only he wasn't a kid any more, he was an old man and I knew my calling had caught up with me. Anyway, Lily and I ended up in a hell dimension and the creeps who were running **_that_** show tried to rob us of our identities... they wanted me to say I was no one and I realized that that was who I was becoming, no one. I kicked their asses and then I came back. I still didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know whether my mom would take me in or not, but I knew I was the slayer and this was still the hellmouth... and I figured that even if my mom didn't want me chances were I'd find enough daddy types here in Sunnydale that I could make it until my eighteenth birthday if I really had to. The only problem was that I knew slipping under the radar here was bound to be far more difficult than in LA."  
  
"'Daddy types'?" I ask, not wanting to dwell on the implications of some of what I've just heard.  
  
"Yes, you know, the family man type of guy who goes cruising looking for the youngest girl he can find --usually choosing one who looks like him and reminds him of his daughter-- and pays extra to be called 'daddy'... but it doesn't matter. I mean, it looks like my mom will take me back so it's not like I'll have to turn to plan B," she says, shrugging off her comment and still sounding oddly detached.  
  
I am appalled, there's no other word for it. She really has no idea, even now she still believes her mother or the streets are her only options. Ever since she came back I've been fighting to hold on to my composure, trying to keep myself from letting her see what I really feel, how relieved I am to have her back and the result is that she truly doesn't know. I struggle to find the right words for almost a full minute before saying, "I'm just going to say this once so I want you to listen and I want you to listen carefully, do you understand?" I wait for her hesitant nod before going on, "if you hear nothing else tonight I want you to understand that no matter what happens, no matter what you do, for as long as I live you'll always have a home here with me."  
  
With that something inside Buffy seems to snap and suddenly she looks at me. I can almost see the moment in which everything sinks in and a fraction of a second later I have a sobbing slayer in my arms. I hold her, letting her cry it all out, knowing there's nothing more I can do for the time being.   
  
I don't know how we are going to deal with all of this but at least now she's home, she's safe. Tomorrow I'll talk to Snyder and I'll do whatever it takes to get Buffy back in school where she belongs, taking care of the minor problems before tackling the major ones. I think it will be at least a couple of weeks before Buffy is ready to move back in with her mother, but after that I'll be free to go to LA for a few hours without her knowing. I wish I could track them all down, every single scumbag who dared to touch her, but I know I can't... there's one, however, I can find: her 'boss'.   
  
Yes, it will be a couple of weeks before I can go looking for him and that should be just long enough for me to figure out exactly what am I going to do to him. I guess it's kind of funny... I never thought I'd be grateful for the lessons Angelus taught me. 


	4. Chapter 4: The Day After

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see Chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 4: The Day After  
  
The night was long to say the least. I downed a couple of shots but I knew I couldn't afford to get drunk no matter how much I wanted to. I kept thinking about Buffy's summer, wondering what if anything she could have done differently... what **_I_** could have done differently but that didn't help. I wish Buffy would have at least agreed to take the bed but she insisted on sleeping on the couch pointing out that she is both shorter and younger than I am. I felt like a cad but I was all too aware of the fact that I have to pick my battles and I knew that for the time being pushing that issue would have been a bad idea. If Buffy were to feel guilty for kicking me out of my own bed she would be more likely to insist on going home before she's ready to spare me the discomfort and that could turn out to be a disaster. As I said it was a very long night and I don't think the day is likely to turn out much better. I am worried about leaving Buffy alone right now but it can't be helped. I have to go to work and I have to talk to Joyce, to see what we can do about putting our differences aside long enough to help her through this.  
  
The thing is that by the time I get to talk to Snyder I am ready to kill and for once he notices... I don't even have to threaten him too much, a couple of references to taking the situation to the courts, a few carefully timed glares and he caves as I knew he would. Buffy will be readmitted on a trial basis and the little troll will be expecting her and Joyce tomorrow... he doesn't need to know that she's staying with me for the time being.  
  
Later today I'm going to meet with my slayer's mother to discuss Buffy in what I hope will be a more rational manner. Last night we were both running on rage, shock and emotion... today I'll have to tell her what her daughter told me and I'm not looking forward to it. At first I thought it would be best if she were to hear it from Buffy herself but I don't think Buffy is ready to go over it again just yet. The conversation we had last night was enough to leave her emotionally drained and I certainly don't want to run the risk of her being hurt by her mother's instinctive reaction. I've gotten to know Joyce a little better over these past three months and one thing I've noticed about her is that she does not handle guilt well and she does have a tendency to shift the blame when it gets to be too much for her. I saw it when she blamed me for Buffy running away after she had told her not to come home and I don't even want to think what could happen if she were to blame Buffy for what she went through in LA. The fact is that Joyce has a tendency to shoot the messenger and I'd rather keep Buffy out of the line of fire.  
  
After almost fifteen minutes of pointless chit-chat Joyce finally looks at me and asks **_the_** question we had both been trying to avoid.  
  
"Have you been able to talk to her at all... you know, about what she said yesterday?" I bite back a sad smile when I realize I'm not the only one having a hard time saying the actual words. I have the feeling that this whole conversation is bound to be one long euphemism and even last night Buffy herself seemed to have taken her cue from me and was very careful in how she phrased things... I was grateful for that, even though she certainly wasn't glossing over the facts.  
  
"Yes, we talked a bit. It was bad," I tell her before explaining most of what I'd learned about the past couple of months in her daughter's life, leaving out the details of Buffy's plan B for her return to Sunnydale. Joyce remains quiet, she doesn't try to stop me nor does she ask any questions but I can see her growing increasingly pale as the story unfolds... not that I can blame her.  
  
"How is she, really?" is all she can bring herself to ask once I'm done.  
  
"I'm not entirely sure, right now I think she's more confused than anything else."  
  
"Do you think I could see her?"  
  
"Of course, you don't need to ask for my permission to do that. She is your daughter and it's not my intention to come between the two of you, however I'd like to ask you to make absolutely sure you don't blame her for what she's been through when you talk to her no matter what she says. She doesn't need to feel like we are judging her right now, she has enough to deal with as it is."  
  
"Last night... I know my reaction didn't help matters but I really wasn't expecting her to say something like that."  
  
"Neither was I. I know it's little comfort and I know it doesn't change the shock of what happened but I think part of the reason why she phrased it like she did was merely because she was scared. I think she feared you would send her away when you found out so she tried to put it in the most shocking way possible. She probably just wanted you to get it over with."  
  
"I understand. So about what she told you, do you think she really had no choice?"  
  
"It's not so simple. I believe her when she says she didn't **_think_** she had a choice, I'm just not sure whether or not that was truly the case. You have to understand that when she ran away she must have been feeling terribly disoriented and she was probably overwhelmed by both depression and guilt, she had good reason to be. She was wanted for murder, her friends had been hurt, I had been tortured and she had been forced to kill the demon who had been her only love," I say, being careful not to mention Joyce's role in that fiasco, "I just don't see how she could possibly have been thinking straight at the time and that may have played a role in everything that happened afterwards but even without that her situation was desperate enough and the law **_was_** against her in more ways than one. Did she have any other choices available to her? I can't tell, I wasn't there, however, in spite of everything, I can't help but fear that there may well have been a part of her that felt she deserved to be punished and that may also have played a major role in how she reacted... whether she was aware of it or not. In the end I don't believe it really matters. Right now we don't have a choice, we have to deal with the aftermath of what's happened. We can't afford to waste our time and energy thinking of what might have been and Buffy certainly can't afford to have us second guessing the choices she was forced to make under extreme circumstances. If we were to start blaming her for those choices I believe we could very well get her killed."  
  
"This is the second time you've mentioned that this could kill her. I'm not saying it would be good for her and I certainly want to do everything in my power to make sure she comes out of this as well as she can but aren't you being a little melodramatic? You don't really think her life is literally in danger, do you?"  
  
"As a matter of fact I do. I don't think you realize just how serious the situation is right now. Buffy's self-image, her self-esteem and her self-confidence have all been badly damaged as a result of this experience."  
  
"Yes, I understand that but..."  
  
"No, you don't understand. That 'but' would apply to any other girl but Buffy is the slayer and the fact is that a slayer with no self-confidence **_will_** hesitate and a slayer who hesitates**_ will_** die. It really is that simple."  
  
"Is that why you are so worried? You don't think she will make it?"  
  
"I am deeply worried, I won't deny that. I know the situation is extremely serious however I still believe that with our help Buffy will have a fighting chance to beat this, but we have to be very careful."  
  
"Maybe we should get her to a councilor, wouldn't that help?"  
  
"I'm not sure. Under normal circumstances I would agree but I'm not sure Buffy would respond well to that approach and unfortunately she is too old for us to be able to press the issue. Even though legally she's still a minor we can't really force her to accept help without alienating her so I'm afraid that request is going to have to come from her and I can't see her making it any time soon. We can make an offer but it's going to have to be up to her to take us up on it."  
  
"So what can we do?"  
  
"Provide her with as much support as we can. The truth is that things are likely to get worse before they get better. I don't think Buffy is aware of just how difficult coming home is going to be and the way in which she handled things yesterday may just have made everything that much worse. I tried to do some research today at the library, looking into ways to help her but I'm afraid it didn't go too well. It seems like psychologists have a hard time agreeing on something as simple as the fact that the sky is blue and as a result there are all kinds of contradictory theories as to how a situation such as this --or any other situation for that matter-- should be approached. No matter what one of them advises the next one will recommend doing the exact opposite. For the time being I think the best we can do is simply to try and get her settled into some semblance of a routine as soon as we can. We have to get her back in school, training and even slaying."  
  
"Well, I'm afraid school is going to be a problem. I tried talking to Snyder but he wouldn't even hear of allowing her back even though all charges have been dropped. I made some inquiries into a couple of private schools but she was dead set against them... and after what we've learned I don't think she could possibly fit into them anyway, even if they were to accept her, which I doubt."  
  
"That shouldn't be an issue. The two of you will meet with Snyder tomorrow and Buffy will be readmitted to Sunnydale High. Maybe after that you could spend the rest of the day together. I think she needs to know you are willing to listen however you should be very careful not to push her... and no matter what you do **_do not_** blame her. Let her work things out at her own pace," I say worriedly. Buffy needs her mother by her side but I can't help but feel nervous just thinking about the damage this woman could do with one poorly timed remark.  
  
"Relax, I'm not going to hurt her. You are babbling almost as much as Willow."  
  
"Sorry, it's just that..."  
  
"That you want to keep her safe? Don't worry, I understand... in fact, believe it or not, so do I."  
  
"It's just that you will have to maintain a very delicate balance. You have to be careful not to write her a blank check to do whatever she wants while at the same time you can't afford to hold her back in an attempt to shelter her. It is important that you don't say anything that could aggravate the situation and..."  
  
"And what will you be doing? After all, for the next few days she will probably be spending more time with you than with me." Joyce interrupts me and I realize that this is probably the fourth time I've warned her about the exact same situation.  
  
"Basically the same thing... only with a lot more bruising," I say shaking my head.  
  
"More bruising?"  
  
"As I said, it is important to help Buffy get back into a reasonably normal routine as soon as possible and that includes training... and since training has always been a sort of escape valve for her when things get rough I'm afraid it will get a bit more violent than usual. It wouldn't be the first time," I muttered distractedly thinking back to her reaction after being drowned by the Master.  
  
"Is it safe?"  
  
"For her? Perfectly, I couldn't hurt her even if I wanted to, which I obviously don't. I promise I'll be careful."  
  
"I meant for you," Joyce points out.  
  
"I trust her to have enough control not to do any serious damage... don't worry it's not something I haven't been doing ever since I met her and it will give me a better idea of just where we stand and how she's coping."  
  
"You do realize that I hate this whole slayer business, don't you? And I still don't understand why Buffy had to be chosen or why can't someone else just take her place so that she can go back to living a normal life."  
  
"Well, there can be only one slayer at any given time and the only way to call a new one is when the previous one dies so Buffy will be the slayer for as long as she lives and..."  
  
"Are you saying that there is only **_one_** slayer? That doesn't make sense! I remember quite clearly that Buffy mentioned that the girl she had been accused of murdering was another slayer, how can that be?"  
  
I realize with a sinking feeling that I'm going to have no choice but to tell Joyce about what happened with the Master and I am entirely sure she is **_not _** going to be happy about it.


	5. Chapter 5: An Elephant in the Room

**_For warnings, notes and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 5: An Elephant in the Room  
  
It seems like Buffy is still having some serious problems with her friends. They have now moved past the open hostility I witnessed at the party but things are far from normal between them and it's tearing them all apart. Even though I didn't want to see it the fact is that for the past week they have been carefully avoiding each other. I won't deny that they have made some progress toward patching things up but a lot of tension still remains. I don't think they have talked about it, Willow and Xander mostly seem to be pretending that the fight never happened and they are apparently doing their best to ignore everything having to do with Buffy's little revelation... and Buffy herself is doing whatever she can to avoid the subject.  
  
I understand that this has been a major shock to them and the truth is that I'm not entirely surprised to see that Buffy is having a hard time reconnecting with them but I don't see how this situation can possibly be allowed to go on for much longer without causing some sort of permanent damage. Maybe things wouldn't be this bad if her friends didn't know about last summer or even if Buffy had been able to tell them about it in a way that could actually have helped them deal with it but the way in which everything unfolded meant that there was no keeping it from them. A part of me is still angry at both Xander and Willow. They had a major role to play in everything that happened at that party and --even though they may have had some valid reasons to be angry-- they had no right to hurt Buffy like they did, to turn against her when she needed her friends the most.  
  
The problem is that --regardless of who started it-- I know it is now time to put an end to it and I also know that that's not going to be easy.  
  
"It's just that it's hard, you know... with how they look at me all the time. With Willow I can see her pity and it drives me nuts... that and she has about a gazillion questions she's just too afraid to ask so there's like this huge elephant in the room and it bugs the hell out of me. Xander is a different story, I mean he just doesn't seem to know what to do. Most of the time he won't even meet my eyes and a couple of times I've caught him staring at me and it's really wigging me out, not to mention that sometimes I think the male part of him just wants to... never mind."  
  
"Wants to what?"  
  
"Hand me a twenty?" she says with a sad smile, "it's like his afraid to be the last virgin left standing in Sunnydale High and... he's my friend and I really love him but as I said, there's that male part of him that can sometimes be a pain, you know? The one track mind part of it. I know he doesn't mean it and he probably can't help it but it's still there... and before you kill him, I didn't mean the handing me a twenty part as in really handing me a twenty, he wouldn't do that. As I said, I guess the problem is that sometimes he tends to act kind of male but it's not really his fault."  
  
"You do realize I'm male myself, don't you?" I point out, even though I'm not angry. I understand where she's coming from and I realize that she does have a point... it's not like I haven't caught that look in Xander's eyes over the past few days, it's just that I never expected her to have recognized it for what it was. The old Buffy wouldn't have and the fact that she does is a sad reminder of just how much things have changed.  
  
"Yes, I know, you are male but you are not creepy male so that's fine. The thing is that they are not comfortable around me and the truth is I'm not all that comfortable around them either right now but I don't want to lose them and I really don't know what to do about it so I kind of figured that maybe if I stay away eventually we'll all get over feeling weird around each other."  
  
"Don't you think that maybe you should all try to talk things out?"  
  
"Yeah, right, I can just see Willow's reaction if I were to try and talk to her about most of this crap. We could always talk to each other before, Giles, and we can't do that any more. She wouldn't understand. She'd want me to go back to being the old Buffy and I'm just so tired of having to pretend to be her all the time. I mean, when she tries to talk to me about her magic I can try and listen, maybe even give her some advice, but as soon as she mentions Oz I panic and I hate that. I don't know what to tell her!"  
  
"So you are just waiting for them to grow up a little, is that what you are saying?"  
  
"Kind of, maybe... all I know is that I can't be around them right now. Not as much as I used to anyway so that's kind of why I've been avoidance Buffy lately."  
  
"You do realize that sooner or later you are all going to have to talk about this, don't you?"  
  
"I can do later."  
  
"Buffy..." I say warningly.  
  
"It's okay, Giles... or at least I hope it will be. They are still my friends and I will fight to keep them, I'm not giving up on them, but until they can deal a little better I kind of have the feeling that hanging out with them too much wouldn't be of the good. Besides they are both doing the couply thing with Oz and Cordelia and being a fifth wheel is so not my thing... maybe I could give them a couple of pointers... put what I learned over the summer to good use. You think either Oz or Xander would be interested in a threesome? Though come to think about it I really don't see Willow going for it and Cordelia... well that's so not where my mind wants to be."  
  
"Buffy!" I yell, totally horrified.  
  
"I'm kidding, relax! I wouldn't do anything like that! They are my friends for crying out loud!"  
  
"I know, it's just that hearing you say those things, talking about the summer as if it were a laughing matter... I hate it. I hate that I couldn't keep you safe."  
  
"Sorry, I just didn't think," she says chewing on her lower lip and I can almost see her retreating into herself. I know that's not good and a part of me immediately regrets my outburst. I know her past is part of her and she needs to come to terms with it but to hear her joking about it like that is more than I can take.  
  
"It's okay, but the point is that you can't keep hiding from your friends forever," I say, trying to get this conversation back on track, "Willow said something about going to the Bronze tonight, why don't you join them?"  
  
"The Bronze?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'll think about it but maybe I should go slaying, you know? Take down a few vamps, make the streets safer for those hard working citizens of Sunnydale? Do the whole sacred duty thing and so on? After all, that's what I'm getting paid for... or rather not getting paid for."  
  
I shake my head. I'm all too aware that ever since she came back Buffy's been hiding behind her calling, taking out her pent up emotions on our town's resident unlife and the results show in the fact that the hellmouth has never been safer. It's gotten to the point where I'm actually starting to pity the vampires she encounters. It's almost like she was when her mom was dating that robot... she was beating them to a pulp before staking them back then too.  
  
"I think you can afford to take a night off," I say before I realize just how bizarre this whole scenario really is... it's not so much that it's different from the one we've had countless times before, it's just that I'm usually on the other side of the argument, "after all, as you said, it's not like you are getting paid."  
  
"But what if they want some alone time?"  
  
"Alone time at the Bronze?" I point out.  
  
"Okay, so maybe not so much with the alone time but..."  
  
"It's going to be fine and it's not like you are bound to have an actual conversation with all that infernal noise anyway. Just promise me that you'll think about it."  
  
"You really want me to go, don't you?"  
  
"Yes, I do. You need to start spending time with them again. I understand you are having some problems right now but those won't go away just because you are avoiding each other."  
  
"Maybe the Bronze won't be so bad... how long do I have to stay there?"  
  
"This is not an assignment, Buffy."  
  
"Kind of feels like it," she grumbles under her breath.  
  
"Just try to go there, see how you feel and if you are uncomfortable you can either go slaying or you can come home. Who knows? If you give them a chance maybe they'll surprise you."  
  
"Okay, I guess I can try but..."  
  
"No buts. It's going to be fine."  
  
"You sure?" she says teasingly, but I can see she is only half joking. A part of her is really worried about this.  
  
I wish I could say 'yes', I wish I could promise her that everything is indeed going to be fine and her friends will be able to cope with the fallout but I can't.


	6. Chapter 6: Hungry and Horny

**_For warnings, notes and disclaimers see Chapter 1_**

Chapter 6: Hungry and Horny

(Buffy's POV, seeing how Giles was not around)

I plaster a fake smile on my face before walking into the Bronze, hoping that they won't see right through it. Just as I expected Oz and Willow are smooching but they separate as soon as they see me. They ask about my good mood and I make some lame comment about having passed one test or another... I knew being on academic probation was bound to come in handy sooner or later. I see a boy approach, I think his name is Scott or something like that and I'm not all that surprised to discover that Willow is trying to set me up with him. He's cute but I'm **_so _**not interested... and **_no_**, I **_don't_** feel like dancing either. I just wish Oz and Willow would get that but it doesn't look like it's going to happen this century. So far this has been a total disaster, everything I feared it would be but I did promise Giles that I'd try so I decide to stay... at least for a while.

I see Xander and Cordelia returning from the dance floor and I hope that will be the end of Willow's little 'let's set Buffy up' campaign. I hear Cordelia say something bitchy about someone on the dance floor and I turn around, grateful for the distraction. Seeing the girl in question I wonder for a fraction of a second what good old Cordy would have said about me if she had seen me two weeks ago but then I realize just what's wrong with the scene on the dance floor... and it has nothing to do with the way in which the girl is moving. I should have noticed it right away, the guy's clothes are all wrong, dated, and here in good old Sunnydale that has rarely anything to do with a distinct lack of fashion sense... in fact all too often it relates to a lack of pulse in stead. I see that they are heading for the exit and I know the girl's in trouble.

I try to make my way toward the door and the others follow me but I'm stopped once again by Scott, who still refuses to take the hint that I'm not interested. I get rid of him as fast as I can but by the time I make it out the door she's gone and I'm afraid I've lost her. I hear the unmistakable sound of fighting and I let out a sigh, knowing that it means I'm not too late, it gives me hope but I know I don't have much time either. I rush into an alley and I see the vamp ready to attack again. I'm about to intervene when I see her face. She's not afraid, in fact she seems to be looking forward to this. To my utter shock she kicks the vampire's face before spinning around and introducing herself as Faith. She keeps on fighting as she talks to me and I know who she is. When one dies another is called... and Kendra is dead. It is Oz who points out the obvious as the girl, Faith, pulls the stake from my hand and without hesitation plunges it into the vampire's heart before handing it back to me.

We head back to the Bronze and I must admit I'm feeling more than a little curious about this new slayer. I can see right away that she's not the council's standard issue... not by a long shot, so I assume that once again they were caught unawares with an active slayer they hadn't even identified before. I'm beginning to wonder just how often they actually manage to identify the right girl and though I can't say I'm too unhappy by the fact that they missed me, I can tell that Faith may have been better off if she had been found by the tweed brigade. I know the look in her eyes, I saw it in more than one girl back in LA.

I see the way in which she devours her muffin, like there's no tomorrow, like she doesn't know where her next meal will come from and I can see right through her stories. Xander is absolutely fascinated. She turns to me and says something about slaying making her hungry and horny. I don't know what to say. Part of me couldn't agree more but I can't tell her that, not here anyway. I know my friends wouldn't understand... that's not what the old Buffy would have said and for the time being I have to pretend to be her, at least when they are around, so I say something about non-fat yogurt. That's safe, that's what's expected of me though I'm sure Faith can see right through me, just as easily as I can see through her... and suddenly I'm so tired of this whole thing, of having to pretend that nothing's changed.

When Faith reaches for a second muffin I start to get worried. All joking about slaying making her hungry and horny aside, I can't help but feel that if she doesn't slow down she's going to end up making herself sick. I bite back my warning, knowing that she wouldn't appreciate it, and I trust her instead to know what she's doing.

I'm relieved when Cordelia cuts into my yogurt ramblings by pointing out the obvious regarding Kendra's death and Faith's calling... I don't think I would have been able to maintain the 'sweet old Buffy' charade for much longer. When Willow asks Faith why she's here she feeds us a story about her Watcher being in some sort of retreat and I go into high alert as soon as I hear that. I know she's lying and I can't figure out why. She asks me a question about the fight against the judge but hormone bomb Xander interrupts, wanting to hear more of Faith's naked adventures. She looks at me for a moment and I can see the amusement in her eyes. I can tell what she's thinking and I have to fight hard not to smile. Teenaged boys are so predictable. Before I know it she's telling him a totally phony story about her fight against a twelve feet long alligator, much to Cordelia's annoyance. Willow is worried for the alligator's sake and seems really sad when Faith tells her it was killed. I'm caught off guard when Faith asks about my toughest fight and my mind goes back to running that sword through Angel before I can stop myself but I'm not ready to talk about that so I say something about the Three... I don't know why they come up, seeing how I can think of about a dozen opponents who weren't so easily defeated. Luckily that seems to be enough to get her off my case. Seeing my reaction Oz brings up the werewolf issue and I'm extremely grateful for that as it gives me a moment to marshal my thoughts.

I won't deny that I didn't want to come here tonight. I feared it would be a disaster and it was until Faith arrived. She's so different from Kendra and for the first time I give myself a moment to mourn my fellow slayer. Funny how I haven't been able to do that in these past few months. I never had much of a chance to get to know her, not really, but the thing is that while we respected each other and in a sense we even complemented each other if she had been around more I don't think we could have become friends. We were too different and even though I managed to revert some of her programming... I mean, her training... a part of me always knew it was too late for her. Faith is a different story. If Giles thinks he has his hands full with me I can't imagine how Faith's watcher feels. I hope she got lucky, like I did. I hope she's got a watcher who actually cares for her but somehow I doubt it. If that were the case she wouldn't be half starved and there's no question in my mind that she is. I know what hunger looks like, I've been there myself and it is so not a fun place to be.

Seeing the differences between Faith and Kendra I can't help but think it's kind of ironic. Kendra spent her whole life learning how to fight the things that go bump in the night, training to defeat vampires and demons... and as a result she probably led a far more sheltered and protected life than Faith ever did.


	7. Chapter 7: Misspent Youth

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 7: Misspent Youth  
  
I'm still trying to figure this new slayer out. I must admit that what Buffy told me about her last night failed to prepare me for this meeting, however I'm still more interested in what she **_didn't_** tell me. There's something about the interaction between both girls I just can't understand. It's almost as if there were some sort of instinctive connection, a sort of common bond, which would make perfect sense based simply on the fact that they are both slayers if it weren't because I never saw anything similar between Buffy and Kendra. Of course, the fact that Faith is **_nothing_** like Kendra may also have something to do with it.  
  
While Kendra was the perfect slayer according to Council guidelines it took me less than two minutes to realize that Faith is anything but... in fact I'd probably say that Buffy is half way between Faith and Kendra, or rather she **_was_** half way between them before she ran away, now I'm not so sure. This past summer has changed her more than I know and even though she keeps trying to pretend that everything is the same --especially when her friends are around-- the way she behaves around Faith tells a very different story.  
  
The thing is that Buffy and Faith arrived in the library shortly before Willow and the rest and that turned out to be a very revealing experience. When it was just the three of us Buffy seemed more relaxed than I've seen her since her return but as soon as the Scoobies arrived I could see how she slipped on her 'good old Buffy' mask and I also saw for the first time what kind of effort that required. I had realized that there was a problem before today --that's why I insisted that she should go to the Bronze yesterday in the first place-- but I never knew how bad it was. I should have seen it though. There are too many things she's been through that her friends just wouldn't understand and those have changed her but Faith has no real references when it comes to the **_old_** Buffy. I can only imagine what kind of relief having someone her own age with whom she doesn't have to pretend must be.  
  
Over this past week or so I've been trying to get her to tell me as much as she can about her summer and it has been far from a pleasant experience... in fact it's been a constant struggle. On the one hand the rational part of my mind knows there are certain things I need to know if I want to be able to help her deal with the aftermath of **_it_** -- of that **_it_** I can't bring myself to name even in my thoughts-- on the other hand my gut feeling is that I just don't want to know. I imagine it must be even more difficult for her friends who in spite of years spent fighting vampires and demons on a regular basis are still fairly naive when it comes to some aspects of human nature. I can understand why Buffy is having a hard time trying to relate to Willow's babble about her first semi-serious relationship and how Xander's normal teenage obsession with sex is the last thing she needs right now but there's nothing I can do to change that. I certainly don't blame her for being unable to connect with her old friends, it's just that I don't like to see her pulling away from them and now that Faith --a blank slate-- is here I worry that she may withdraw from them even further.  
  
I try to focus my attention back on what's going on around me in time to hear Faith comment on the fact that she's on her own while her watcher is in the Cotswalds and I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. In spite of my own words my resentment doesn't really stem so much from the fact that being invited to the retreat is considered to be something of an honor --in fact most watchers get to attend at least once-- it's based on something much deeper than that. Whenever that blasted retreat is mentioned I can't help but remember **_why_** I've never been invited... why I never will be. It is a reminder of just how many of my colleagues still won't accept me, how many of them still don't think I'm good enough, how many of them still haven't forgiven me for what happened when I was younger... for Eyghon. In a sense I know I was the lucky one, not only because I'm still alive but also because --no matter how reluctantly-- they eventually accepted me back. Ethan was not so fortunate. Having been trained to be a watcher from the day he was born, just like I was, the fact that he was expelled from the organization, black-listed from most worthwhile jobs and then disowned by his family just as he was completing his training left him without a sense of direction, with no other goal in life than to cause chaos and mayhem... with me as his favorite target.  
  
I can understand his resentment. In the closed world of the Watchers Council it was my being an only child that saved me. That was the only reason why I was reluctantly readmitted into the fold. It had nothing to do with skill, potential or remorse over what had happened, their decision was far more pragmatic than that. Given that they knew I was the last of the Giles --and that in their almost incestuous little circle there was to be no new blood brought in-- they couldn't really afford to let me go. On the other hand in that rarefied 'one heir, one spare' atmosphere the fact that Ethan did have a brother made all the difference in our fates. They were forced to 'forgive' me but they made an example out of him. He became the escape goat for that whole fiasco... and considering the fact that --unlike me-- he actually **_wanted_** to become a watcher, the impact on his life was even more devastating.  
  
Ethan fought back by turning his resentment against me, I fought back by refusing to marry, by refusing to help them breed the next generation they so desperately wanted.  
  
I know there's nothing I can do about what happened so many years ago, but in spite of that my feelings must have been written on my face clearly enough seeing how, before I know it, Faith is teasing me by telling me that such a place would have been too stuffy for someone like me. I blush at her comments as I try to imagine how her watcher deals with her. One thing is for sure: she may be extremely perceptive but subtle she is not.  
  
I suspect that for as long as this girl is around she'll keep me on my toes. For some reason Faith seems to enjoy trying to embarrass me with a constant barrage of sexual innuendo... and in spite of her rather loud proclamations of revolt I can't help but notice the twinkle in Buffy's eyes at my discomfort. That is not how she would have reacted only a few months ago, back then her revolt would have been real, not merely a performance she puts up for her friends' benefit. I would be jumping for joy at the thought of Buffy accepting that those of us who are 'old and gross' can actually have a sex life if it weren't for the fact that I am all too aware of just how she came by that knowledge and I can't stand it.  
  
In a sense what we have here between the three of us is a rather interesting game. Faith is teasing me and while Rupert Giles -- responsible watcher and librarian-- is reacting as he is expected to, the Ripper side of me --that side I've been trying to deny for most of my adult life-- is growing to be quite fond of this new girl. By the same token the old Buffy is pretending to be shocked by Faith's innuendo but the new Buffy can see Faith's teasing for what it is and can actually be amused by my reaction to it.  
  
The truth is that I am grateful for the fact that Buffy and Faith are getting along. We have a new evil in town and having two slayers around will probably come in handy. I hope it doesn't turn out to be too bad this time around but I am also aware that it is only a matter of time before another major threat rises in our idyllic little town on the mouth of hell. So far it doesn't seem to be that serious. There are no signs of prophecies or major demons and what's happening looks mostly like what we would expect to see if we were dealing with a new master vampire moving in to try and fill the void that was left when Angelus was killed and Spike and Dru left town. Still, even though Buffy has faced far worse than vampires in her years as a slayer, I am all too aware of the power a master vampire can have and I'm not willing to take any chances with her life if I can help it. Vampires may be perceived as minor threats here on the hellmouth but by sheer numbers they have killed more slayers than any other kind of demon out there and I can't allow myself to forget that.  
  
I tell the girls to be careful as they leave to go on patrol and Buffy reminds me that she will be late coming home tonight because she promised her mother she would stop by for dinner. If Faith goes with her I'm pretty sure Joyce will get more than she bargained for.


	8. Chapter 8: A Mother's Eyes

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1  
_**  
Chapter 8: A Mother's Eyes  
(Joyce's POV)  
  
Needless to say I was surprised when Buffy showed up for dinner with a new slayer in tow. Truth be told I was also incredibly relieved, seeing how Rupert had been unable to tell me whether or not after Kendra's death Buffy had gone back to being **_the_** slayer in stead of **_a_** slayer. The fact that Faith is here means that Buffy will no longer have to go out alone at night. It means she will now have someone there with her watching her back who can actually help her. I know Rupert tries his best and I know he has the necessary knowledge about vampires and demons, but he doesn't necessarily have the strength and that leaves Buffy having to watch both their backs up to a point. I know he would die for her but I'd rather have them both alive. After he told me what had happened with the Master I asked him how long does a slayer usually live... and right now I'll take anything that can possibly give Buffy a better chance at beating those odds.  
  
Rupert and I have been talking quite a lot ever since Buffy came back, trying to present something resembling a unified front when dealing with her and I am incredibly grateful for everything he's been doing these past few days. Not just for taking her in to give us some time to get reacquainted with each other but also because of the amount of time he spends helping her get back in the rhythm of her own life beyond the daily slaying... like the hours he spends every day helping her with her schoolwork. That was far from one of our top priorities when she first came home but with her being on academic probation it soon became apparent that we were dealing with a major problem in that area. Not only had Buffy missed the last couple of weeks of class last year and most of her tests but she was also having a very hard time when it came to focusing on her studies. Over the past few months studying had become an alien concept for her and Rupert has set out to work on changing that. As the school librarian he has access to all the materials she could possibly need and he is personally acquainted with all of her teachers... and in addition to that there's the fact that his work schedule matches her school hours perfectly. That has made it possible for him to devote at least a couple of hours each day to tutoring her. It would have been absolutely impossible for me to do for her what he is doing in that regard.  
  
The fact remains that these past ten days have been incredibly trying. Rupert has been acting as a sort of buffer, mediating between us, helping me come to terms with all of these things I was totally unprepared to deal with, from my daughter's secret life as the slayer to what happened when she ran away. It's been good having another adult I can talk to... and I think maybe it's been a relief for him too. Up until now he had shared his secret with a group of children and while they are great kids, if what I've seen these past few days is any indication, I suspect he has spent a lot of his energy trying to keep some of the weight off their shoulders. Well, maybe that's not entirely true, up until recently he had that teacher too --the one Angelus killed-- but from what I've heard she couldn't always be trusted.  
  
I know I shouldn't think ill of the dead and I know that woman paid for her mistakes with her life but I can't help but blame her for everything Buffy's been through over the past few months. If it weren't for her betrayal most of what has happened since Buffy's last birthday could have been prevented. It's hard to believe that it's been just under seven months since this whole nightmare began.  
  
The thing is that in these past three months, and especially in these past few days, my life has been completely transformed and now I find myself feeding two slayers instead of one and wondering whether or not this second girl --a girl I certainly wouldn't have approved of only a couple of weeks ago-- can possibly hold the key to my daughter's survival. Am I an awful person for hoping that she will be the next slayer to fall? I don't want her to die, I really don't, I just want my daughter to live.  
  
I try not to stare at Faith as she slays her food at an alarming rate. This girl could probably give Xander a run for his money in the bottomless pit competition. I am also shocked by the fact that Buffy is actually getting along with her. I wouldn't have expected her to, Faith is so different from Buffy. She doesn't come across as someone my daughter would be comfortable making friends with. Buffy is a lovely girl --if I may say so myself-- but she is an only child thru and thru and something about this whole scenario seems off somehow, she just seems too welcoming and I don't understand it. I know their sudden friendship could just be a slayer thing but I doubt it... or maybe I just hope it's not. I may be trying to come to terms with the fact that my daughter is the slayer but I don't want the slayer aspect of her life to take over, not at home. I want this house to remain the one place where she can be just Buffy.  
  
So what am I to do now? What do I make out of Faith? She is extremely blunt, there's no question about that, and for a moment I wonder how is Rupert's extreme Britishness going to cope with her. It seems apparent that this girl is about to become a major player in our lives so the logical thing would be to try and get to know her but for all her apparent candor she is extremely difficult to read... and she's not saying much as she basically inhales her dinner. I guess her appetite could have something to do with her slayer metabolism, after all --taking into account some of the things I've learned about slayers recently-- that would be only natural. I know Buffy doesn't usually eat like that but I have noticed over the past couple of years that she has a tendency to raid the fridge when I'm not looking. I know just how often leftovers vanish in the middle of the night around here, so maybe Buffy was just trying to cover the fact that she was going to bed hungry in an attempt to keep me from noticing the changes in her, maybe the way in which Faith is attacking her food is really the norm for a slayer. Was I really that blind to what was happening with my own daughter? Was I in such denial that I could have been allowing her to go hungry in her own home for years?  
  
That's something I haven't really wanted to think about but I guess sooner or later I'm going to have to because she was right that night... before she left. I never wanted to see her thorn and bloodied clothes for what they were, I wanted to believe she was getting into fights because it was easier and the one time she tried to come to me, to us, what did we do? We betrayed her trust by placing her in a mental institution because we couldn't deal with what she was saying. I could try to excuse myself saying that it was more Hank's doing than my own, that we were doing what we thought was best for her, but the fact remains that all the good intentions we may have had won't ever change what we did to her back then... and when the truth slapped me in the face I blamed her for not trusting me, for keeping secrets when I was the one who had first refused to listen. I told her she needed help when she already knew what kind of help I had to offer and so she did the only thing she could do... she ran.  
  
What would I have done if she had come home? I don't know, I'll never know, unfortunately life doesn't come with a rewind button. The damage has been done and there's nothing I can do about it but there's one thing I know for sure: things are about to change around here.


	9. Chapter 9: Fighting the Good Fight

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 9: Fighting the Good Fight  
(Buffy's POV)  
  
Okay, I'm pretty sure something isn't right here. Last night when we were patrolling it was all too apparent that Faith enjoys the slaying a bit too much for comfort and the fact is that if she keeps going like this she'll wind up dead. I'm trying to tell Giles about it but he's so not listening... different temperaments my ass. I may not be a genius who can name every demon on this side of creation without even looking at a book but even I can tell the difference between a 'dedicated fighter' and someone who is running on fear and rage and what I saw last night had nothing to do with giving it all in the line of duty. I know he's pissed about not getting invited to that damn retreat but I'm pretty sure we have a major problem here... a problem that begins with "F" and ends with "aith" and he's just not listening.  
  
It takes some doing but eventually I manage to get my watcher to focus on the slaying once again and then he's asking me about the vamps we took down yesterday. It's still not much of an improvement but at least he's not talking about kayaking. I tell him about what they said, that they serve some guy with a really weird name --kissing toast, taquitos, whatever-- and that definitely gets Giles's attention. All of a sudden he is back to his business-like self and it finally looks like this is going somewhere.  
  
Yups, my spider sense sure is tingling now and I can't help but wonder whether or not the fact that this new big bad wanna-be just happened to show up at the same time as my shiny new little sister slayer is a coincidence... somehow I don't think so. There has been something off with Faith's whole story from the beginning and I'm willing to bet that this Taquitos guy has something to do with it. I leave Giles to try and track down Faith's missing watcher as I head for class.  
  
I almost groan when I run once again into Scott... can't this guy take a hint? I am getting ready to ditch him when I see Giles out of the corner of my eye and I can tell by the look on his face that something isn't right... which is what I've been trying to tell him for a while now.  
  
I'm not particularly surprised when he tells me that Faith's watcher is dead.  
  
I go looking for my 'little sister' and I find her arguing with a bulky guy who is in charge of the roach motel... he's giving her some grief about the rent and I see Faith trying to come to 'an agreement', but he turns her down. I can barely keep myself from taking him out but eventually he leaves. I look around Faith's room --which turns out to be pretty much what I had been expecting, having seen her eat a couple of times-- but at least now I know her watcher is dead, if she had been alive and at a retreat I probably would have killed her. I focus on what I came here for and I see her freeze right on schedule as soon as I mention Kakistos's name.  
  
This is not going to be easy... whatever it is, I know it's bad. She tells me it's not what he did to her but what she did to him, somehow I'm not buying it. She came here looking for help and I intend to help her... whether she wants me to or not. I failed Kendra and I'm not going to fail Faith too. I'm not losing another slayer just a few days after coming home. It really is that simple.  
  
'Great!' I tell myself as I see her pack her few belongings. She wants to run away... been there, done that and I have the t-shirt to prove it. I'd tell her that taking off is not going to help any but I suspect she already knows. Now she's shifting from fear to bravado and for a moment I wonder who she's trying to fool, me or herself.  
  
I'd love to stay here and chat but we really can't afford it so I let it out bluntly. I tell her that I know her watcher is dead and I ask her whether or not it was Kakistos even though I already know the answer. I remember back when Merrick died, I was a mess too, pretty much like Faith is now.  
  
I am about to insist on my attempts to get her to talk to me when I hear someone knocking on the door. Faith goes to open it and we see the manager 'standing' there for a second before being dropped... what Faith just said about a head start coming in handy... well, I kind of realize that that plan is no longer an option when I see a cloven hand reaching for her neck.  
  
I manage to force him to let go of Faith and I even succeed in closing the door but I know I've bought us only a couple of minutes at best. We are still in trouble but at least we are together and I know that gives us a fighting chance... or it would give us a fighting chance if only I could get Faith to snap out of it.  
  
I see Kakistos's fist break through the door almost as if it weren't there and I barely manage to bite back a curse when my fears are confirmed... this is a motel and as such it is more than enough of a public building for him not to need an invitation in order to come in.  
  
Faith is screaming and I slap her... hard. There's nothing else I can do. I need her with me now. I'm not leaving her behind. I manage to drag her with me as I make it out the window and we run for it.  
  
We lose them after a couple of blocks --at least for a while-- as we find shelter in an abandoned building and I ask Faith to tell me what happened, even though I have a pretty good idea... I mean, I know what Lothos did to Merrick so I can pretty much imagine what Kakistos did to her watcher. No one ever accused vamps of being highly original thinkers, that's for sure. I try to get Faith to focus on the here and now --anything to get us out of this mess alive-- but she is just staring blankly into a corner. I turn to see what's caught her attention and I see a pile of decomposing bodies. Shit! This is a trap and we've been led straight to their lair.  
  
I barely have time to register that fact before they burst into the firehouse and once again we are surrounded... and Faith is in no shape to fight them. I tell her not to die and I charge but Kakistos manages to fight me off... easily, and then he goes for Faith. I can see that she's trying but sometimes trying is not enough and I'm afraid I'm going to have to watch her die here. I want to help her but unfortunately Kakistos is not the only vamp we are fighting and I see another one coming after me. He would probably qualify as a master under different circumstances but here he is little more than a fledge. I dust him and I'm about to go help Faith but another vamp stops me... I suspect it's Kakistos's right hand man --or was that demon-- and he's good. I thought I had him for a moment but he just doesn't seem to want to go down.  
  
I feel another vamp grabbing me from behind and I know I have a choice to make. I can keep fighting these guys or I can use the vamp behind me to create a diversion and I can try and help Faith. I decide to go with plan B so I kick in the face of the vamp that's in front of me and I use my momentum to flip so that I land behind the one that was attempting to hold me. I stake him and I turn around just in time to see Faith take a major blow.  
  
I finally succeed in diverting Kakistos's attention and start fighting him with all I've got. Eventually I see an opening and I stake him... or I try to. The stake is not doing much good. He's too big and the stake can't reach his heart. I hear him taunting me, telling me that I'm going to need a bigger stake. I know I'm in trouble but then I see that Faith is finally getting up and she has a support beam in her hands... well I took Lothos out with a flag pole so I know it can work.  
  
In a matter of seconds Kakistos is dust and I look around expecting to be confronted by his followers but they seem to have deserted him.  
  
I turn to Faith and ask her if she's hungry, leaving out the bit about being horny. She winks at me and says she's starving... why am I not surprised to hear that?


	10. Chapter 10: Winds of Change

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 10: Winds of Change  
  
I am deeply relieved when the Council informs me that Faith will be staying here with us for a while. She may be a handful but her presence has been a blessing as far as Buffy is concerned. Ever since she came back Buffy has been isolating herself from most of her peers, unable to connect with her friends as she once did and openly rejecting the overtures of a boy who had a crush on her, yet somehow she seems to have been able to connect with Faith almost from the start. I know there's something I'm still missing in this whole picture... several somethings in fact.  
  
First of all there's her reluctance to share what happened in that final battle with Angelus. I know she defeated him --based on the fact that we are still here-- but I suspect there may have been more to that battle than I've been led to believe. The other thing that doesn't quite add up is her connection with Faith herself. It is true that there is almost no precedent for the interaction between two slayers --seeing how they are not even supposed to exist at the same time-- but what little information there is is based on Buffy's interaction with Kendra and the fact remains that her reactions to her two fellow slayers have been completely different.  
  
Maybe it has something to do with how they met. Kendra's arrival came as a total shock to Buffy who had always thought of herself as **_the_** slayer, or maybe the difference has to do with Angel's absence. After all --at least in their first encounter-- Buffy and Kendra found themselves literally fighting each other and most of the time they were at odds because of Buffy's relationship with Angel, a relationship Kendra could never quite understand. In fact they only began collaborating after Angel had turned into Angelus... when they were finally able to agree on the need to take him down.  
  
I don't know. For whatever reason Buffy has been able to bond with Faith in a way she never did with Kendra and right now that's all that matters. If Faith's presence is what it takes for Buffy to be able to relax then so be it. I know it's not fair to Faith, she is a slayer in her own right, not merely a tool for Buffy to use but the fact remains that I don't know her, not really. I even failed to see what was going on with her when Buffy tried to warn me that there was something wrong yesterday before I learned of her watcher's death. Regardless of everything else, Buffy is still my top priority but that doesn't mean I'm not going to do my best to help Faith too, and the fact that Buffy seems to have taken her under her wing will definitely make things easier for me.  
  
No watcher has ever had to watch two slayers at the same time and if I'm to be spared having to deal with their 'sibling rivalry' I certainly won't complain about that small mercy. The idea of having to work with both of them if they were at each other's throats would be deeply worrying.  
  
Now all I have to do is share the news with them... or at least with Buffy, seeing how Faith is not in school.  
  
-o-  
  
"So where will Faith be staying?" Is the first question that comes out of Buffy's mouth as soon as she hears what I have to say regarding her fellow slayer.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, it's not like we can leave her at the mutant roach inn," she mutters.  
  
"'Mutant roach inn'?" I ask, wondering what on Earth is going through my slayer's mind.  
  
"You know, the dump she's been lovingly calling home these past few days? Do you really want me to list the reasons why her staying there would be a bad idea? I could begin with the fact that given that it's a public building there's no invite rule and that means it would only be a matter of time before she winds up dead, not to mention the fact that unless the Council is actually paying her --which I seriously doubt and if they are I'm going to start wondering where's **_my_** paycheck-- there are not that many ways for her to be able to afford a room... after all, it's not like she can take a nine to five job even if she wanted to. She's younger than I am, for crying out loud!"  
  
I must confess I hadn't even thought about that. Tradition dictates that a slayer live with her watcher but my flat does not lend itself to such an arrangement and for the time being I already have Buffy camping out on my couch. I am also disturbed by what Buffy is hinting at in regards to how could Faith possibly support herself. I can only hope that she is projecting based on her own experiences from this past summer rather than making an accurate assessment of the situation. She does have a point, however, when she says that --in spite of its almost limitless financial resources-- chances are that the Council is not paying for Faith's room and board... and for the first time ever I realize the unfairness of that situation. The slayer is seen as a tool of the Council, not even an employee. I had never really questioned the Council before I came to Sunnydale, all my training had been deliberately geared toward keeping me from questioning it --I can see that now-- but now I can't help it.  
  
Buffy is an incredibly successful slayer in spite of the Council, not because of it. I saw the differences between her and Kendra and I know that even if Dru hadn't gotten lucky when she did, Kendra still wouldn't have lasted much longer. There have been other things too that I've learned in the past couple of years. I have seen how Buffy has benefited from her friends' help and support, how Xander helped her defy a prophecy that every single text indicated could not be defied... and in spite of what happened with Angelus, Angel taught me that there are more shades of gray than the Council is willing to see.  
  
I can only hope that the fact that it seems like Faith too was an unexpected slayer may turn out to work on her behalf, and I hope that the fact that the Council has agreed to allow her to remain on the hellmouth will enable them to operate as a team on a regular basis, something else that could increase their chances of survival.  
  
I pull myself out of my musings and I turn my attention back to my slayer and the matter at hand, namely where will Faith live while she's in Sunnydale. I know we don't have that many options... I guess I could move but I'm not sure whether or not that would be the best solution for Faith. Even though most slayers are raised by their watchers from early childhood, one thing I've learned from Buffy and her friends is just how ill prepared I am to face that challenge on my own.  
  
"I don't know," I reluctantly admit, "I really hadn't given it much thought."  
  
"Do you think that maybe..." Buffy says hesitantly before trailing off.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, it's crazy and she would never go for it."  
  
"What's crazy and who wouldn't go for it?"  
  
"My mom."  
  
Okay, it is now entirely apparent that even after almost two years as Buffy's watcher and just as long working as a high school librarian I am still to master the complex grammar of that strange language known as 'California teen', which against all odds is proving to be far more challenging than several demon languages I am familiar with. All too often I find that while I can understand the words, their meaning escapes me. My confusion must have been quite apparent as eventually Buffy goes on.  
  
"I was kind of wondering if maybe we could talk my mom into letting Faith stay with us. I mean we do have a storage room we are not really using and a basement that could easily be used for storage anyways so it's not like storage is that much of an issue even when mom wants to store some stuff from the gallery... and having us actually living in the same place could come in handy if we ever have to get somewhere in a hurry," she explains, babbling in a way that reminds me of Willow at her worst.  
  
"Do you think your mother would agree?" I ask, not wanting to get my hopes up... it would be an ideal solution for everyone, especially since it would also force a change in the dynamics inside that house and that would make it easier for Buffy to move back in and actually feel like she belongs. Faith's presence would certainly make enough of a difference that the changes in Buffy would be more readily acceptable for Joyce simply because a direct comparison with the way things were in the past would become less likely.  
  
"That's kind of the big problem... I really don't know," she mutters.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask her, well aware that even though right now Buffy is feeling very protective of Faith she is also an only child who has given some indications of being fairly jealous in the past. I remember how she reacted to Kendra's presence at first and I'm not sure she realizes what having Faith living with them would entail in terms of Joyce's attention. It is one thing for Buffy to feel like Faith's big sister when it comes to fighting vampires and demons and quite another for her to have to share her mother with her. I am torn. On the one hand --if everything goes well-- this would probably be the perfect solution and I can't think of anyone else I would trust to be there for Faith the girl and not the slayer --which isn't saying that much considering Willow's and Xander's parents, but that's not really the point-- on the other hand I can easily think of at least a dozen different scenarios in which this could turn out badly for both slayers right off the top of my head.  
  
"Yes, she can't stay where she is and it's not like she can move in with you," Buffy insists and I can see that she's really determined to do this.  
  
"Okay, I'll try and talk to your mother... do you think you are ready to move back in with her?"  
  
"You are kicking me out?" she asks, sounding rather unhappy with the prospect.  
  
"No, but I may have to use that as leverage to get Joyce to agree to take Faith in. Your mom wants you back, Buffy, desperately... and she will probably agree to just about anything to get you to come home. Besides, I think you **_are_** ready, you know I wouldn't suggest it otherwise."


	11. Chapter 11: Coming to an Understanding

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 11: Coming to an Understanding  
  
Joyce is looking at me as if I had suddenly grown a second head, not that I blame her. I know asking her to take Faith in may be a bit much but I still hope she will do it.  
  
"You are kidding, aren't you?"  
  
"No, I'm not. I know this is a lot to ask for but I am at my wit's end. Buffy is right when she says that Faith cannot be allowed to stay in that motel for much longer and even if Buffy weren't staying with me I don't think my flat would be an effective long term solution for her," I explain.  
  
"Well, maybe if Buffy were to move back home with me --where she belongs-- then Faith could move in with you... at least for the short term."  
  
"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of both girls staying with you for the time being," I say.  
  
"Both of them?" asks Joyce, looking a lot more receptive to the idea of taking Faith in than she had a few seconds prior.  
  
"Yes. I must admit that the whole thing was Buffy's idea. She seems to have taken Faith under her wing and she was the one who suggested talking to you. At first I wasn't entirely sure whether or not that was such a good idea but as I thought about it I realized that having Faith here would probably help Buffy adjust to being home. Besides, while I may know how to deal with a slayer, I confess I am clueless when it comes to sixteen and seventeen year old girls. I am not what Faith needs no matter what the Council says. Faith has the potential to become a truly remarkable slayer --she certainly seems to have the raw talent for that-- but she deserves a chance to be a girl and I can't give her that... I don't know how."  
  
"You've been doing well enough with Buffy though," she points out.  
  
"Yes, but..."  
  
"No buts, you can handle her," she says, and I can't be sure if she's trying to talk me out of trying to convince her to take Faith in, or if she's trying to reassure me.  
  
"Yes, but it's not just about Faith or Buffy, it's about what's best for both of them... besides I'm going out of town for a few days and I need to know they'll both be safe while I'm gone," I explain.  
  
"Out of town?"  
  
"Council business," I say, hoping Joyce will allow me to leave it at that and knowing that she probably won't.  
  
"What kind of Council business?" she asks. No, I didn't really think it would be that easy, but it was worth a try.  
  
"I must go to the East Coast to do some additional research on some information Willow managed to find for me. I must admit that computers can be extremely useful when it comes to finding hard facts but sometimes that is not enough. There's something cold about computer data that I'll probably never be comfortable with... I may be old fashioned but there's some business I still believe should be conducted face to face."  
  
"When are you leaving and how long will you be gone?"  
  
"I'm still not sure. I'm not going anywhere for as long as Buffy is staying with me and..."  
  
"So this Council business is not exactly urgent, is it?"  
  
"No, it's not apocalyptic kind of urgent but it is important nonetheless."  
  
"This whole thing still feels so unreal sometimes. I mean, up until a couple of months ago whenever I heard the word apocalyptic I just knew it was being used figuratively, now I assume you mean literally?" she asks, shaking her head.  
  
"Yes, but as I said, for once the world is not in danger... or at least not in any more danger than it normally is."  
  
"And seeing how Boston is on the East Coast is it safe to assume that your important-but-not-quite-apocalyptic business has something to do with Faith?"  
  
"Yes," I admit, "if she's going to be staying with us on a permanent basis I'd like to know more about her. Unfortunately her watcher's diary didn't survive the woman's death at Kakistos's hand. As I said, Willow managed to find some background information on her --school records and the like-- but it is sketchy at best. I'd also like to try and track her mother down to see if it would be possible for us to legalize her situation somehow... at least enough to allow her to attend school here in Sunnydale."  
  
"Can you tell me what you know?"  
  
"I'm afraid it's not much. Faith turned sixteen last April, she ran away from home over two years ago, a couple of months after she turned fourteen. She was a very good student up until that point but the schools she attended were far from the best and the fact remains that she barely managed to finish the eight grade. Her mother turned thirty one less than two months ago, which means she had Faith when she was just fourteen herself. She was a single mother and she never married, never finished high school either. As far as the facts go, that's all I've got. I could speculate about what Faith's life may have been like up until she was called, but I prefer not to do it."  
  
"What you'll find... it won't paint a pretty picture, will it?"  
  
"No, I don't think so, especially not after what we've learned of Buffy's last summer. Buffy was seventeen when she ran away, Faith was barely fourteen and she was on her own for two full years. That's another reason why I think Faith would be better off staying here than with me, to tell you the truth. I may be reluctant to speculate about her past but from what I've seen my gut instinct says that this girl needs a mother, and seeing how Buffy has already adopted her as her sister... well..."  
  
"I get adopted by default, is that it?" asks Joyce with a knowing smile.  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid so... also if they are both living in the same place it would mean they would have no time alone at all while they patrol. As long as they are living in different places they will remain particularly vulnerable before they meet or after they part ways and something can always try to take advantage of that window of opportunity. If they were both living under the same roof that would effectively close that window."  
  
"That's not playing fair, you know? Okay, I won't agree to take Faith in on a permanent basis --at least not yet-- but she can stay here while you go to Boston. We'll see how that goes and then I'll make my decision."  
  
"That sounds fair enough, thank you... though I'll have to ask you not to tell the girls where I'm going."  
  
"You are just going to tell them that it's Council business?"  
  
"Yes, I'm not sure how Faith would react to the fact that I'm going to go snooping into her past and I don't want to risk her taking off while I'm gone."  
  
"Again based on that past you don't want to speculate about?" Joyce asks.  
  
"Mostly," I say, though I'm aware that she probably knows what I'm thinking.  
  
"So, what's the plan?"  
  
"Well, Buffy will still be staying with me tonight, then tomorrow after school she'll probably come home. I think it would be best if we let her talk Faith into agreeing to move in, after all it was her idea. In a couple of days --once I'm sure both girls are settled-- I'll drive myself to LA after work and I'll catch an early flight to Boston the next day. I don't think I'll be gone for more than a week. In Boston I'll try to locate some people who may remember Faith from before she ran away and I have her mother's address so I'll talk to her too. We will still probably have a two year gap but that should provide us with at least a clue as to what we are dealing with here."  
  
"I want a full report," Joyce says, in a far more decisive voice than I would have expected under the circumstances.  
  
"Of course, that goes without saying, especially if Faith is to stay here. I feel like I must warn you though, I don't think that girl is used to authority figures. She's been on her own for a very long time so she may prove to be quite a challenge."  
  
"Yes, I figured that much, but that's not what I meant," she says.  
  
"What did you mean?" I ask, rather perplexed by the sudden turn in the conversation.  
  
"I'm not blind, Rupert, and I'm not in denial of what's going on around me any longer. Your plan makes perfect sense --I wouldn't expect any less of you-- but I've gotten to know you in these past couple of months and especially over the last ten days or so... besides, I have a sneaky teenager for a daughter. LA is only a two hours drive from here so it doesn't make much sense for you to spend the night there in order to catch a morning flight... unless you have an entirely different reason for wanting to spend some time in town in the first place. I know what you are planning to do and I said I want a full report. She may be your slayer but she is still my daughter."


	12. Chapter 12: Death of an Angel

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 12: Death of an Angel  
  
Buffy will be moving back in with her mother tomorrow and that means that I have no choice but to confront her tonight. These past few days I've managed to get her to open up in regards to what her summer was like, I even got her to talk to me about her fight with Joyce and her deal with Spike but she still refuses to tell me what happened during the course of her final battle with Angelus, at least not in any sort of detail. I know she won --we wouldn't be here otherwise-- and I know the vortex was already open at the time, I even managed to trick her into telling me some of the more obvious details such as time and orientation but I am sure she is still hiding something and I have my suspicions as to what it could possibly be... I just hope I'm wrong about that.  
  
I do know that Willow tried to restore Angel's soul and I know she thinks her attempt to do so was a bust --her words, not mine. I hope she's right about that because I don't even want to consider what her success could possibly imply. I don't want to think of what it would have meant for Buffy to have had to kill Angel in stead of Angelus... and I **_really_** don't want to contemplate what it would entail if Willow had actually managed to pull something as complex as a soul restoration on her own with absolutely no experience, training or supervision while seriously injured and from a hospital bed. If she did it then I would have a lot more than just two slayers to worry about... and having two slayers is almost more than I can handle.  
  
If Willow truly has the kind of power I fear, she could easily become a danger to herself and to others... and from what she's told me she is totally unaware of that fact. She is experimenting now, floating feathers and trying to make fire, as long as it doesn't go any further than that we should all be fine but if she managed to do the impossible then there's no way it's staying at that. Magic and power are addictive, I know that well enough, and while I don't think we are in imminent danger I fear it is only a matter of time before she loses control... of course, maybe I'm worrying over nothing, after all Willow said that the spell didn't work and Buffy would have told us if it had... maybe.  
  
-o-  
  
"Buffy, we need to talk," I say after dinner, knowing that I can't allow her to put it off any longer.  
  
"Okay, that sounds serious. Please tell me we don't have another apocalypse knocking on our door... do apocalypses knock?"  
  
"I don't believe that they do though I do believe you are trying to stall... again."  
  
"Is it working?" she asks.  
  
"No, but if it makes you feel any better I'll tell you that there are no apocalypses involved, though you are right, it is serious. It's about the battle with Angel," I say, making sure to use Angel's name, not Angelus and I see her freeze immediately.  
  
"So you figured it out?"  
  
"I had my suspicions, you just confirmed them," I admit.  
  
"Willow did it... you know, in the end... but it was too late and I had to..." she trails off and I hate myself for pushing her, but I know I have no choice.  
  
"You had to kill him, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes. He didn't even know what was going on, where he was or why we were fighting and then..."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"We were fighting and then suddenly he was himself again. The vortex was growing behind him but he couldn't see it... I told him that I loved him, I kissed him and then I ran my sword through him. I pushed him into the vortex and then it was over... he was calling my name."  
  
"You did what had to be done," I tell her.  
  
"I send Angel to hell and you are going to give me a speech about duty?" she all but yells at me.  
  
"No, that's not what I meant... though I guess it sounded that way. What I meant was that from the moment the vortex was opened it was already too late to save him. By that time there was nothing you could possibly have done to keep Angel out of hell, he was doomed, the only question that remained was whether or not the world was going to be sucked into hell with him. Your choice wasn't Angel or the world, it was Angel or the world **_with_** Angel... and I know you, you wouldn't have sacrificed the world to save him even if you could."  
  
"You are right, I did kill him but still I..."  
  
"It's been hell on you, hasn't it?" I ask, trying to imagine what these past few months have been like... and the role this whole thing could have played on what happened to her in LA.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, I keep seeing him in my dreams... sometimes he understands but most of the times he just blames me, he says that I betrayed him and I try to tell him I didn't want to do it, that it was the only way but he doesn't really believe me and maybe he's right. I did betray him. I ran a sword right through him and he didn't even know what was happening but then I... I don't know. Everything is really messed up in my head, it's like nothing makes any sense at all."  
  
"Are you still seeing him in your dreams?"  
  
"Almost every night, it just won't stop."  
  
"Are you sleeping at all?" I ask, growing more and more concerned about the whole situation.  
  
"A little, maybe a couple of hours a night but that's nothing new 'cause, slayer here, you know?"  
  
"Yes, well, I do realize that being the slayer by night and having to go to school in the morning does not leave you much time for such things as sleep, in fact I have a similar problem, but what I meant is whether you are sleeping less than you normally do."  
  
"Kind of... let's face it I'm usually up by the time the alarm goes off, but that's about it so no big."  
  
"And you didn't think that maybe I needed to know about that? You need to rest, Buffy. You may be the slayer and as such you may be able to make do with significantly less sleep than the rest of us but that doesn't change the fact that going out there night after night when you can barely keep your eyes open is incredibly dangerous."  
  
"In case you haven't noticed everything I've been saying has to do with my inability to keep my eyes closed... believe me, keeping them open is **_so_** not an issue."  
  
"You know what I mean," I say, shaking my head.  
  
"Yeah, I know... a tired slayer is a sloppy slayer and that is not of the good but still you expect me to slay all night and go to school first thing in the morning. It's not like you ever cut me any slack in that regard and need I remind you that you keep the same hours I do, watcher mine? You are at the library whenever I arrive, and that's **_without_** the benefits of a slayer's natural talent for going without sleep."  
  
"I just don't want to lose you!"  
  
"And still you send me out to fight the things that go bump in the night every night... I'm sorry I didn't mean that," she says, suddenly realizing what she's just said.  
  
"I know you didn't mean it the way it came out but that doesn't change the fact that it is true. I do send you out there every night and every night I know you may not come back... maybe that's why I like having you here, but..."  
  
"What do you mean that's why you like having me here?"  
  
"When you are at your mom's I just..."  
  
"You just what?"  
  
"Well, let's face it, usually you don't call me after patrol and I can't tell whether or not you are still alive... I must confess it terrifies me."  
  
"Is that why you usually get to school so early. I mean, I've noticed that you haven't been doing that since I've been back but I kind of assumed that it had to do with the fact that I was going to school with you."  
  
"These past few days that you've been here I haven't had to wonder. I can hear you coming in and I know you are fine... even if sometimes I have to patch you up after patrol. Before I would go to school and pray that you would show up... I was always so relieved when I saw you walk into the library after a night of not knowing."  
  
"And you worry about **_my_** lack of sleep? Giles, why didn't you just say something? I mean you could have asked me to call you when I get home. You may be a major league technophobe but even you've got a phone."  
  
I have to smile at that. Whether I like it or not I have to admit she has a point, I could have asked her to call me but still sometimes I just need to see her to be sure that she's fine. I've known for a while that I love her as if she were my own, when she ran away I was forced to stop lying to myself about that. Buffy is more than my slayer... and I suddenly realize that that means we are headed for trouble.  
  
-o-  
  
Author's note: For those of you who have been wondering when will Angel be back the answer is that he won't. As far as this fic goes he either stays in hell for good (for those of you who don't particularly like him) or he is restored by the Powers and given a new mission in LA with strict instructions to stay away from Buffy (for those of you who do like him).  
  
The reason why he is not coming back is that I have enough trying to deal with two characters who are freaking out over everything Buffy's been through (Giles and Joyce) and I really don't feel like adding Angel to the mix. In addition to that there's the fact that because this fic is **_not_** about Buffy's love life, Angel would end up becoming little more than a foot note anyway.  
  
Author's note 2 (shameless self-plug here): In case anyone is interested, while I'm now testing the automated archive waters here at , most of my stories remain exclusive to my site, that includes some Buffy ficlets, a 52 parts Buffy crossover and about fifty fics in other fandoms. The URL can be found in my profile.


	13. Chapter 13: Little Girl Lost

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 13: Little Girl Lost  
  
"How was your trip?" asks Joyce as soon as Faith and Buffy leave us to go on patrol.  
  
"It's not good, I'm afraid," I say, addressing Joyce's unvoiced question while trying to organize my thoughts. I have plenty of things I must tell her and the truth is that I'm not entirely sure how she's going to react to some of them.  
  
"How bad?"  
  
"Bad enough to put both Faith and Buffy at risk," I admit, deciding against trying to sugar-coat it for her. This is something she has a right to know.  
  
"Buffy?" she asks, perplexed.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"The truth is that Faith never really stood a chance," I explain, "what I learned is disturbing to say the least. When I first arrived in Boston I went to Faith's old school... that place was so depressing... I don't know how those children are expected to learn anything in such an environment. Each class has at least forty students and most of the teachers are ill prepared. For the most part they don't care about their jobs and they don't care about their students. None of her former teachers could even remember Faith. In the end I got lucky with the school librarian, a woman named Ms. Simmons... she certainly remembered her though it's hard to believe that the girl we've met is the same girl she was describing. The girl she described was shy, quiet and..."  
  
"Faith, our Faith, was shy and quiet?" she asks, utterly surprised.  
  
"As I said, it's hard to believe it's the same girl but yes, those were her words. She said she knew the type. Faith used to spend hours at the library and she managed to read most of the books that were available to her a couple of times --which having seen that place doesn't really mean that much-- but according to Ms. Simmons that probably had less to do with a thirst for knowledge than with a desperate attempt to avoid having to go home. Ms. Simmons didn't know Faith had run away but she didn't seem particularly surprised when I told her either... she said that maybe things just got too bad for her at home during the summer, when the school was closed, and Faith had nowhere else to go. It sounded like she had seen that happen before and was resigned to seeing it happen again. Anyway, after my encounter with Ms. Simmons I felt ready to tackle Faith's mother... it wasn't a pleasant experience."  
  
"That's awful but I still don't understand why you say the situation could possibly endanger Buffy as well."  
  
"I'm getting to that. When I met Faith's mother I had absolutely no doubt as to who she was... Faith looks a lot like her. At first I wasn't entirely sure how to handle that encounter, to tell you the truth. I was there to tell her that I knew where her daughter was but that she couldn't have her back and I figured that wasn't going to be easy. I was shocked when she seemed more trouble by the prospect of having her daughter come back into her life than anything else... the truth is that she **_doesn't_** want her back. The good news is that I have a letter and a couple of other documents from her that should be enough to allow Faith to stay with either of us legally and to enable her to attend school... anyway, after my talk with Ms. Simmons I think maybe we can try to get her admitted as a sophomore on academic probation while I work with her to make up for her freshman year, so that she's reasonably close to her own age group, what do you think?"  
  
"I think you are stalling," Joyce points out.  
  
"Sorry, it's just that what kind of mother signs over custody of her teenaged daughter to a total stranger --and a male stranger at that-- no questions asked? That woman was more troubled by the fact that her daughter was alive than anything else. When I first told her that I had news about Faith her initial reaction was just what I had been expecting, she seemed relieved but then she asked me if she was dead and it was only when I said 'no' that her face fell."  
  
"**_What!?_**" Joyce all but screamed.  
  
"She'd rather have Faith dead than back in her life. Anyway I got her to talk to me after I promised that we **_wouldn't_** send her daughter back to her. On her behalf I have to say that her own life probably was anything but easy, though there were a couple of contradictions in her story... enough for me to suspect that she wasn't being entirely honest with me.  
  
"As we already knew she was just fourteen when Faith was born... she said her parents kicked her out saying that they wanted nothing to do with either of them. Being pregnant prostitution obviously wasn't an option so apparently she began dealing drugs, acting as a carrier, using her age and condition to avoid raising suspicions... she kept doing it for a few years after Faith was born. She admitted that much. When Faith was a baby her mother used to carry drugs in her diaper bag or her pram, using her own daughter as a cover. That went on until Faith was about four or five years old, that's when her mother decided to clean up her act after she came a little too close to being arrested.  
  
"She said that that made her realize that if she were to be arrested their father would get Faith and she wasn't willing to take that chance, so I guess she loved her daughter... at least when she was younger. I think what happened was that as time went by she became more and more aware of the chances she would never have because of Faith and she started resenting her as a result. After she stopped dealing drugs Cristina --that's her mother's name-- found herself going from one dead end minimum wage job to the next, from one deadbeat boyfriend to the next... and I can't imagine how that could possibly have been good for Faith.  
  
"I'm speculating here but I believe Faith was probably forced to deal not only with her mother's growing neglect and resentment but also with the abuse from at least some of her boyfriends. I wasn't able to track them down so I don't know exactly what happened, though I think Ms. Simmons guess as to what finally caused her to run away is probably accurate.  
  
"The two years between the time when she ran away and her calling are, unfortunately, a mystery but going by her behavior and Buffy's experiences I think we can get a general idea."  
  
"Yes, I guess we can," says Joyce looking rather shaken, "but you haven't told me why you think some of Cristina's story is not true... I mean, it's not like she comes across like a devout mother or anything like that so why do you think she is lying? Do you think she was still involved with dealing drugs even when Faith was older?"  
  
"No, she doesn't come across as a wonderful mother --and no, I don't think she continued to be involved with drugs or anything like that-- but she said her parents kicked her out when they discovered her pregnancy and then she said she cleaned up her act for fear that their father would get custody of Faith if she were to be arrested, but if they had kicked her out saying that they wanted nothing to do with her or her baby..."  
  
"Then it would make no sense for her to worry about the fact that they would get Faith if she were to be arrested," Joyce interrupts me, coming to the same conclusion I had upon meeting Cristina, "you think she ran away, don't you? You think that she feared her parents would take her daughter away from her... but if she did, why lie about it when she was willing to admit to everything else? It just doesn't make sense."  
  
"It's more than that... worse than that and I truly hope I'm wrong. I honestly hope I'm reading too much into an innocent mistake made by someone whose grammar leaves much to be desired, but Cristina spoke of 'our father', not 'my father' or 'Faith's grandfather' but 'our father'. That was her one concern, she never mentioned her mother."  
  
"Do you think Faith knows?" asks Joyce after a few seconds, obviously having made the same connection I did.  
  
"I don't even know if I'm right, but if I am I don't think so. I don't think Cristina would have told her and she was almost certainly too young when she ran away to even consider the possibility. As I said, Faith was born into a less than ideal situation and she basically had no guidance growing up. I don't think having a small scale drug dealer for a mother who felt her life was hopeless and blamed her for it --not to mention a long string of bad role models-- gave her a strong sense of identity, a lot of confidence or a good grounding when it comes to concepts such as right and wrong."  
  
"No, I guess not... you think it's up to us to change that now, don't you?"  
  
"If Faith and Buffy are to make it," I say.  
  
"Why Buffy? I mean I understand why Faith but..."  
  
"You know that old saying that with great power comes great responsibility?" I interrupt, knowing that this is going to be the hardest part for Joyce to accept.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, think of the responsibility Faith's been given. She is a slayer --it's only by some miracle that she's not **_the_** slayer-- but even though deep down she's a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders her understanding of such basic things as right and wrong leaves much to be desired."  
  
"I get that, but I still don't know what you are getting to."  
  
"In all of the Council's history there have only been two rogue slayers and in both instances taking them down resulted in a slaughter... I'm not saying Faith is going to go rogue but the fact is that her background makes her particularly vulnerable. It wouldn't take much to push her over the edge and if that were to happen there would be only one person who would stand a chance to take her down..."  
  
"And that would be Buffy," Joyce interrupts, having finally realized what I'm trying to say.  
  
"I'm afraid so... and seeing how Buffy thinks of Faith almost as a younger sister, even if she were to succeed being forced to fight her would almost certainly destroy her as well."  
  
"So we don't let Faith go rogue."  
  
"It's not that simple. We have over sixteen years worth of damage to undo. When I was in Boston I took advantage of the opportunity to visit some college libraries without Buffy's knowledge, trying to get a better idea of where we stand. You have to understand that there are some very basic concepts that Faith may have some serious trouble with. Things we take for granted."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"Well, when you think of a safe place your first thought is probably 'home'... for Faith 'home' is anything but a safe place. I also did some reading regarding Buffy's situation and there are areas where I believe we will be dealing with degrees of damage in **_both_** of them. This is not something that is going to be easily fixed. The truth is that we have our work cut out for us."  
  
"You keep saying 'we'."  
  
"Yes, I know. The fact is that whether we like it or not I believe we are in this together... I don't think either one of us would stand a chance alone."  
  
"I agree, but what do you mean there are degrees of damage in both of them. Buffy's been doing fine since she came home."  
  
"Or so it seems. I think there are things we will have to acknowledge, and I'm sorry for bringing this up in such a crass fashion but I do believe it's necessary. For us 'having sex' and 'making love' are two expressions that under normal circumstances have similar meanings."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you think that's how Buffy sees it?"  
  
"I would certainly hope so."  
  
"This is not about hopes, Joyce, and the truth is that right now that's probably not the case and we both know it."  
  
"What are you trying to say?"  
  
"That I believe that right now for Buffy having sex has absolutely nothing to do with making love. In her mind that emotional connection between love and sex has almost certainly been broken and you have to be prepared to deal with the fact that at times her behavior may reflect that."  
  
"I guess, though I haven't seen any evidence of that."  
  
"Maybe the situations she's encountered since she came back weren't right for a problem to become apparent or maybe she's still trying to pretend that nothing's changed for your benefit but I believe it is only a matter of time before those changes manifest themselves."  
  
"And Faith?"  
  
"Faith is a different story. Sex she knows --and she's very open about it-- but I don't think she can even begin to understand the concept of making love... in fact I'm not sure she can even understand the concept of 'love'. What I'm trying to say is that with Buffy you laid a foundation as to how things were meant to be in some areas and then something happened to change her perspective. She may see things from a different angle but no matter what happens that foundation is still there... with Faith on the other hand that foundation is missing.  
  
"It's like with Buffy you have a building with a rather solid foundation that has gone through a thorough remodeling or maybe even received some damage... the result is a building that is still solid and stable though it may look very different from the way it once did. In Faith's case that foundation was not properly laid in the first place and the result is a building that is not structurally sound and can collapse at any time. There are things that can be done to strengthen it, but that fundamental flaw will always be there."  
  
"And seeing how Faith is a girl and not a building I guess tearing the whole thing down to rebuild is out of the question."  
  
"Yes... in fact I think Faith got extremely lucky before she came here."  
  
"Lucky?!"  
  
"Yes, Cristina was surprised by my presence so it's apparent that the Council never contacted her... and I suspect they never even tried to learn anything about her past. You have to understand that through the centuries the Council has developed a rather blase attitude toward slayers... with the exception of some of their watchers who know them personally they don't really care about them as individuals, they just care about the cause and what the girls can do. I'm afraid that if the Council had learned the danger Faith could pose because of her background they might have taken some sort of preemptive action."  
  
"'Preemptive action'?"  
  
"They might have decided that she was too dangerous and executed her in order to call the next slayer."  
  
"You have to be kidding me! They would have killed that child?"  
  
"I'm afraid so."  
  
"And you work for them?"  
  
"Yes, but that doesn't mean I agree with them and right now I'll do whatever I can to keep Faith safe."  
  
"You better!"  
  
"So have you decided what you are going to do about Faith?"  
  
"I'm keeping her, that's for sure... especially if there is a chance that the Council might decide to come after her."  
  
"It's not going to be easy."  
  
"I know, she's been staying with me for almost two weeks now," Joyce reminds me.  
  
"So how have they been doing? I'm guessing there were no major problems between them."  
  
"No, they are getting along fabulously... I never would have thought so, I mean Buffy is an only child but she is really protective of Faith. Sometimes I think it's been harder on me than on her, like the other day. I overheard a conversation between them and..." she trails off.  
  
"What happened?" I prompt her.  
  
"I wasn't ready. They were joking about life on the streets and exchanging tips on how to survive, how to size up perspective clients to avoid the most dangerous ones. It kind of made me see some things I didn't want to acknowledge... it made everything Buffy's been through suddenly seem a little too real. Let's just say that they were talking about things I never wanted my little girl to know and leave it at that. Up until that point you had always been there to mediate between her experiences and me... I'm not sure that makes any sense."  
  
"It does and I understand, just as long as you accept the fact that it wasn't Faith's fault."  
  
"I know, it took me a while but I do realize that now... I just don't like hearing Buffy sounding like that. They don't even know I heard them but I can't deny it was a major shock."  
  
"That's understandable. Even though while she was living with me I kept trying to push Buffy to open up, I think right now it might be best if we just give her some space and let her come to us. On the other hand I think Faith's presence may yet turn out to be a blessing in that regard too, if we handle things properly."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, it's obvious that Buffy needs to be able to talk about what she's been through with someone who won't judge her or be horrified. She needs someone who can accept her experiences as 'normal' and seeing how she doesn't seem particularly keen on the idea of counseling, her having a friend who can actually relate to what she's been through is probably the next best thing. Willow is a great girl but there's no way she could understand and Buffy knows it... and I admit that I am too uncomfortable with the details to be much help either."  
  
"You and me both."  
  
"Yes, I imagine this can't be easy for you either."  
  
"No, easy is definitely not the word I would use to describe it. So you think being around Faith could actually be good for her? I mean, I want her to stay with us but sometimes she's just so wild that I have to admit she scares me a little."  
  
"Yes, I think Faith can help... with appropriate supervision. The thing is that Buffy clearly needs someone she can talk to freely --someone with whom she doesn't have to worry about the other person's feelings-- and that's something Faith can offer her. On the other hand I feel I must warn you that I believe both Buffy and Faith are on the edge right now and they are hanging on to each other for dear life, and that's a dangerous place for them to be. I won't lie to you, I think Faith is closer to falling right now and if we are not careful she could potentially drag Buffy down with her, but if we manage to hold on to Buffy and pull her to safety I think we also stand a chance to save Faith."  
  
"In other words we can save them both or lose them both."  
  
"Yes... I wish that weren't the case and if we had known when Buffy first met Faith what we now know it could possibly have been prevented --we could have done things differently, kept them from growing this close-- but that's no longer an option."  
  
"Then we pull them both to safety."  
  
"I guess we do."  
  
"And now that that's settled I want you to tell me about the rest of your trip."  
  
I know what she's asking and I hesitate for a moment, unsure as to whether or not Joyce is ready to deal with that side of me --the side I've been trying to hide for over twenty years-- but a look into her eyes makes it clear to me that she needs to know so I tell her... in great detail.


	14. Chapter 14: Just Your Average Dysfunctio...

**_ For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 14: Just Your Average (Dysfunctional) Family  
  
I am fairly certain that this was not part of my original job description. As far as I recall nowhere in my training did they mention that my duty while patrolling would someday include quizzing not one but two slayers for upcoming tests. One of them is getting ready for her SAT, the other is trying to catch up in English Literature. I guess it could have been worse... I could have been quizzing Faith on biology. Anyway, right now I am trying to get Buffy to understand just how serious her SAT is in terms of her future... and I can hardly keep myself from smiling at the thought that she's made it this far. I still remember her knocking me out to go face the Master --knowing that she would die-- as well as her reaction to career week last year, when she didn't even think she'd have a future. Back then she still believed herself to be **_the_** slayer.  
  
Of course, getting Buffy to focus on her studies is not exactly easy. I tune out her babbling about joining a tribe where rites of passage include piercings while shaking my head in disbelief and before I know it I see Buffy coming my way at full speed and telling me to roll. I obey instinctively and she stakes a vampire using her pencil... a fact that she tries to turn into an excuse to get out of her study session. I hand her a new pencil and she glares at me, much to Faith's amusement.  
  
The truth is that I enjoy this time with them when we are on patrol, when it's just the three of us. We don't have to hide as we do in the library where Snyder is a constant threat hanging over our heads, the Scoobies are not around --a fact that greatly reduces the stress on Buffy, even though things are slowly getting better with them-- and Joyce is not here to hover protectively over 'her girls'. Funny how quickly she has grown to worry almost as much about Faith as she does about Buffy. Whether I want to acknowledge it or not the fact is that patrolling is as close as I can get to the traditional interaction between a watcher and his slayer and I like it... it's just that damn plural that keeps throwing me off.  
  
The thing is that lately I've found myself doubling as a tutor, seeing how both of them have had some trouble readjusting to school --which I guess is only natural. Luckily Buffy is almost back to her old self --and I know I can trust her under normal circumstances-- but with her SAT just a few days away I figured she could use the extra help. I know she's not serious when she claims to choose her answers based on frequency --and I know B was indeed the correct answer to the question I just posed her, even though she's trying to be flippant-- but I can't risk her blowing her SAT in an attempt to keep up her dumb-blonde facade. She is smart but she craves some sense of normalcy in her life and I do realize that --as is unfortunately the case with too many girls around here-- ever since she was born she has been relentlessly bombarded by a media that has taught her that dumb is 'cool' and only 'nerds' care about their studies.  
  
Faith, on the other hand, is a different matter altogether. The girl hadn't set foot in a classroom in over two years so she is a bit rusty but the situation is nowhere near as bad as I had feared. She is still trying to catch up in some areas with her classmates, obviously, and she does get frustrated at times but she is determined to do this. My only problem with her determination is that I'm not sure how much of it is based on a desire to do well in school and how much of it is fear based. I know she's smart --she had to be to survive-- and I know she was a good student before she ran away but I suspect part of it may also be related to the fact that she still feels unsure as to her place in our lives.  
  
Sure, Faith still enjoys teasing me as much as she can but I can tell that her banter is just a facade, one that doesn't quite match her actions. I think that deep down at times she is still trying to make herself invisible, she's still afraid of becoming a 'nuisance'... and she's still reluctant to tell us what she wants. I think I can understand her better since I came back from Boston and that has definitely helped matters, though neither she nor Buffy are aware of my little trip.  
  
Of course we've also had more than our share of awkward moments these past few days, though oddly enough the strangest one probably came when neither Faith nor Buffy were around. All I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time but I failed to consider how the whole thing would play out. After I came back from Boston I knew the situation we were facing was far more complicated than what we were equipped to deal with so I talked Joyce into going with me to meet with a family therapist, seeing how neither Faith nor Buffy were particularly keen on the idea of seeing a counselor themselves. I had hoped that such a specialist could at least advise us on how to handle the situation, which were the common errors we should try to avoid or the obstacles we were likely to encounter, but things quickly spun out of control. The truth is that it was not a particularly successful session... or maybe the problem was that it was a little **_too_** successful for comfort.  
  
From the moment we walked in the door we encountered some rather predictable obstacles when it came to explaining our current situation. We were there in an attempt to learn what we could do in order to help Buffy and Faith cope with everything they'd been through but there was too much we just **_couldn't_** mention --not without being committed ourselves-- so we had to simplify our story. We explained how Buffy had run away after a misunderstanding with the law, what she went through in LA and how, when she finally came home a few weeks ago, she did so with Faith in tow. It wasn't exactly the truth but we felt it was the closest to it we could get away with as long as we were limited to what the average person would deem to be a 'believable' explanation. After that the real problems began.  
  
The most relevant one came about when we tried to explain the relationship between Joyce and myself. The poor doctor had a hard time trying to come to terms with the fact that we weren't married, we had never been married, we had never even dated and yet we were there together in her office looking into what we could do to help our girls... and that was the most shocking part of the whole experience for me. She made me realize that they are in fact **_our girls_**. I've known that I love Buffy as if she were my own for a really long time and I also knew that Faith was quickly growing on me, but even though I knew Joyce and I had made a commitment to work together to help them I had never really considered what my position in my slayers' lives meant in terms of my relationship with Joyce.  
  
To say that having a total stranger casually mention the fact that we are co-parenting the girls was shocking would be an understatement but the thing is that now --after a couple of days-- both Joyce and I have finally stopped fighting it and accepted that description as a fact. Nature abhors a vacuum so --even if no one ever did anything specific to trigger such a situation-- somehow I've found myself fulfilling the role of Buffy's missing father without me being even aware of it... and now that situation has been extended to include Faith as well. As I said, I have no problem accepting that I love my slayers as if they were my own daughters, that was never the issue, the issue was that even though Joyce and I have been working in tandem for a while we had never quite taken the step to describe the relationship between the two of us as co-parenting. I guess we just hadn't thought of what my relationship with my slayers meant in terms of our own relationship, if that makes any sense.  
  
In the end I think it all boils down to the fact that even though we are far from being a traditional family, like it or not we **_are_** a family.  
  
It's strange how I find that to be a more daunting responsibility than I could ever have imagined. I was trained to turn a little girl into a warrior --to send her to her death without giving it a second thought-- and that woman's words changed that in an instant... she made me see myself in a different light. I haven't been what the Council expects of a watcher in a very long time --I've known that for a while now-- but that doesn't change the fact that by having abandoned my original mission somewhere along the way I've unwittingly placed both Faith and Buffy in more danger than they can even imagine. They may not know it but my actions have placed them in harm's way and now it's up to me to find a way to keep them safe because I'm not willing to lose either one of them. That is one task in which I can't afford to fail.  
  
-o-  
  
Author's note: I know I'm skipping two episodes here, I did warn you that this was going to be an AU. "Beauty and the Beasts" is being overlooked because its main purpose plot-wise is to reveal Angel's return to Buffy, however seeing how Angel is not coming back it just made no sense... you can consider it replaced by Giles's trip to Boston. "Homecoming" just doesn't work because it is too heavily based on the dynamics between the Scoobies which are completely different here... that brings us straight to "Band Candy", which probably takes place a little earlier in this universe than in canon.


	15. Chapter 15: A Box of Chocolates

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1._**  
  
Chapter 15: A Box of Chocolates  
(Faith's POV)  
  
I'm holding Snyder's latest hoop in my hand and man am I pissed! What am I supposed to do with forty of these damn things? Sure, I mean, the little troll has everyone trying to figure out who they can dump their chocolates on --it's not just me-- but I really don't have the time for this shit... or the parents for that matter.  
  
I'm pretty sure B will talk either G-man or Mrs. S into buying hers but I'm stuck. I think if I want to get rid of mine I'm going to have to pull a girl-scout here... and not in the kinky sense either. I mean, I've lost track of just how many times I've played the naughty girl-scout in some guy's fantasy, but actually selling cookies as in for real? That's going to be a new one. Well, it's not like I can avoid it... as it is the troll already hates me almost as much as he hates B so I'm just going to have to grin and take it.  
  
The truth is that I hate this whole not having any money of my own crap... if I did I could just buy the damn things for myself --even if they are so overpriced it's not even funny-- keep them around for whenever I want a midnight snack and be done with it but I'm broke. Sure, Mrs. S is cool, I'm more comfy than I've ever been before, I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in and three squares a day --and all that's of the good-- but money-wise things just ain't working for me right now and I can't really risk what I've got by trying to make some extra on the side. Somehow I don't think Mrs. S or the G-man would approve. The thing is I'm not used to being this damn dependent. I'm used to being on my own and I'm finding out that this whole dependency deal is the one thing I really, **_really_** don't like of this whole arrangement... I guess in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter much but still, sometimes it kind of bugs me.  
  
Of course, even though the whole being dependent thing sucks, having someone there who actually notices whether or not I'm in one piece at the end of the day is a nice change of pace... like when Mrs. S patched me up a couple of nights ago after a vamp got a lucky shot. It was nothing really, just a scratch, but she was fussing over me like she actually cared, like it mattered! That was way weird, I mean, I remember getting far worse than that from some of my mom's boyfriends when I was like five and no one ever gave a damn... besides at least with the vamp I got the satisfaction of seeing him turn to dust in the end.  
  
The thing is that my whole life just feels beyond weird right now... like it's someone else's, like I'm going to wake up any moment now and it'll all be gone... or maybe **_they'll_** wake up and realize that it was all a huge mistake, that I don't really belong here --which I know I don't-- and they are going to kick me to the curb. Sure, I'm handy with the slaying and I know Mrs. S just keeps me around because I can help keep B safe, but she's a smart lady so I guess it's only a matter of time before she figures out that she doesn't really have to put up with me nearly as much as she does for me to do that. The slaying is in my blood and I can't turn my back on it any more than B can, whether I like it or not... besides I actually like B, so it's not like I want to bail on her.  
  
I mean, sure, she's still a bit naive --I think when she was on her own she was probably more of a lost puppy than a street rat-- but she cares. I met a few people like her, the ones who did their best to make sure everyone was as safe as could be instead of trying to screw everyone over... they were nice but they never lasted long. They may have been on the streets but they didn't belong there and they had a disturbing tendency to wind up kind of dead.  
  
The thing is that for me the streets were way better than home, but even back when I first ran away I knew what I was getting into, I knew I had to keep moving if I didn't want to wind up either dead or in someone's stable... B's first idea was to try and get an honest job, for crying out loud! She had no idea of what she was getting herself into and she only made it because she's a slayer. I know she hasn't told either her mom or Giles about it, but when I asked about it she admitted that more than once she had to take down some goons sent by one local pimp or another who wasn't happy to have her encroaching on his turf and his profits, a pimp who was determined to either recruit her or get her out of the way... well, at least she was smart enough not to fall for their promises.  
  
I guess that's where we are different. Even now B is still moping over her 'one true love who went psycho'... me, I can't even remember my first time. She was seventeen when she slept with Angel... by the time I was seven my mom was working the night shift --waiting tables at one skin joint or another-- and we were living with Jerry. I guess memory is kind of a funny thing because Jerry is the first one on a long list of jerks I can clearly remember --though I'm pretty sure he wasn't really the first jerk on that list-- and I remember him mostly 'cause he had this thing about my nightgowns.  
  
Jerry was kind of a bum so --since my mom was working the night shift to keep his beer supply flowing-- he used to tuck me in. Anyway, what I remember the most about him is how he used to make me wear these ridiculous long, flannel nightgowns to bed that felt about two sizes too big to begin with. I remember how they had these really silly, girlie prints of teddy bears, rainbows, kittens, hearts, whatever on them... and I remember how even back then I knew better than to try and wear my panties with them.  
  
Well, I guess it could have been worse. I mean, sure my family life wasn't fairy tale perfect but at least I got to have a life so maybe I shouldn't bitch about it. The truth is that if I'd been in my mom's place I wouldn't even be here and I kind of like being alive so...  
  
I also like being a slayer. B fought her calling long and hard from what I've heard, though I think by now she's come to terms with it... of course for her being a slayer really messed her nice, comfy life, for me things were different. For the first time in my life I actually mattered, I had the power. Even now having vamps and demons fear me is the ultimate rush... for the first time ever I am in control and I love it. I wasn't so sure about the whole having a watcher thingy though.  
  
I mean, my first watcher was nice enough, I guess. She was the first person who sort of cared about me in a very long time and I really hated seeing what Kakistos did to her --I still don't like thinking about it much-- but she had this whole holier-than-thou thing going that drove me nuts sometimes. She was good to me but she also had all these ideas as to who I was supposed to be and she wasn't willing to let such a trivial thing like the facts get in her way. I mean, she was my watcher for almost two full months and she never even knew what I did for a living... I think she didn't want to see because it so didn't mesh with her ideal little world. I mean, she wasn't stupid --she could certainly handle herself when it came to doing research-- and it must have been pretty damn obvious at times... after all the only reason I wasn't considered as a high school drop-out was simply 'cause I dropped out before I even made it to high school so it wasn't like I had a long list of marketable skills to fall back on but she never thought about it, she never tried to find out. G-man may dress like the King of Tweed but I know that when it comes down to it he understands a lot more than he lets on.  
  
The thing is that being a slayer is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sure, there are a ton of things I've had to get used to since I came to SunnyD and a million stupid rules I'm expected to follow, but over all I guess it's been of the good. For the first time since I can remember I can go to sleep without having to worry about some guy crawling into my bed whether I want him there or not and I'm finding out I kind of like it... of course, I know Mrs. S would freak out if I took a guy I actually wanted there to my bed and that part of it really sucks but I can deal... I think... maybe...  
  
I mean, I know Mrs. S doesn't really keep me around because I'm a perfect example of a proper young lady and everything a mother would want in a daughter or even in a daughter's friend... in fact I know I'm anything but. She keeps me around simply because I can help B, because me being here means her daughter may have a shot at living just a little bit longer and I understand. B is her daughter, I'm not... just like B is Giles's slayer and I'm not. I'm just the charity case, which brings me back to my current problem of how to deal with Snyder's latest hoop and the unsolved mystery of what the heck am I supposed to do to get rid of forty badly overpriced candy bars... couldn't I just dust forty vampires instead?


	16. Chapter 16: Smothering

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 16: (S)mothering  
(Buffy's POV)  
  
And it is yet another lovely day for being mistrusted... of course whether or not it's a lovely day for it makes no difference, I'll be mistrusted anyway. I just wish my mom and Giles would get over it but it doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon. I was only half joking when I asked my mom to let me drive after getting her to buy half the chocolates Snyder saddled me with but then she just had to go ruin it... and I don't mean by saying 'no'. The way things are going I kind of get the feeling that she's going to trust Faith with her car before she trusts me with it... or with anything else for that matter. She's on top of me all the time now. She wants to know where I am, what I'm doing and who am I with every single moment of the day. I mean, it's nice that she cares and all that but she's driving me nuts... and Giles is even worse.  
  
I mean, look at us. I'm here but Faith didn't even bother to show up for lunch and I have no idea as to where she could possibly be. If I'd pulled a stunt like that I wouldn't see the light of day for a couple of weeks but with Faith mom just shrugs it off saying that it gives us a chance for some alone time. I feel trapped, I feel like I just can't set a foot out the door without having to write a report about it... in duplicate form, one copy for my mom and one for Giles. And speaking of Giles I better get going, he wanted to meet me after lunch for some one-on-one training.  
  
-o-  
  
The good news is that I've managed to get rid of the remaining twenty bars, the bad news is that Giles is in 'creative training' mode. His latest idea is to get me to try and hit him with a ball while I'm blindfolded... no pun intended but I could do it with my eyes closed. I'm used to tracking vamps and humans are far noisier and easier to pinpoint. If nothing else they have to breathe and that's always a dead --or was that living-- giveaway of their position. I decide to make things interesting and --just as I expected-- I hear Giles start gloating about how I missed my mark, I wait a couple of seconds and then the ball bounces off his head, right on schedule. It was fun but I've had enough. I **_need_** some breathing room and that means I have to play dirty, so I tell him I have to go home, that I promised my mom I'd be there. I know I'm playing with fire, I know I'll be in a world of hurt if they catch me --and I know that seeing how they've teamed up for their little 'let's fix poor broken Buffy' project there's a good chance that they might figure it out-- but I can't take this any more. I swear I had more freedom when I was six.  
  
It's not so much that I have anywhere I'd rather be as it is that I just want a couple of hours to be me. A couple of hours of not being Giles's little slayer, or the obvious disappointment I am to my mom, or Willow's old perky friend and study-buddy... just me-me. I kind of wish I knew where Faith was but maybe it's better that I don't 'cause I don't want to get her in trouble. I mean, if I get caught my mom may yell at me or she may ground me until the next apocalypse (no biggie, it's scheduled for next week anyway)... but if she catches me sneaking around with Faith in tow she could kick her out, especially if she gets it into her head that the whole thing was Faith's naughty idea to begin with because her little girl would **_never_** do something like that.  
  
The truth is that sometimes I'm still not sure where Faith stands with mom and Giles so I know I have to be careful. I think my mom's actually starting to like her on her own, but with her still stuck in mother-hen mode I really can't afford to get the two of us in trouble 'cause Faith is likely to be labeled as a 'bad influence' and she's got nowhere else to go. I know she can handle herself no matter what mom does, it's not like she's never been on her own before, but that would be so totally unfair.  
  
Sometimes I wonder what mom and Giles would say if they knew a little more about Faith's past... somehow I don't think they'd understand. Mom sees her as someone who can help me, for Giles dealing with her is part of his duties as a watcher but they don't really know her. She's also their charity case and Faith's not helping. She's used to keeping people away from who she is and she does it almost instinctively. She adapts to survive, that's what she's good at, I've seen one Faith with the Scoobies and another one with mom and Giles but those two Faiths are very different from the one I know.  
  
Anyway I hand Giles his candy bars and I make my break for freedom... at least for a couple of hours.  
  
-o-  
  
Let's face it, freedom is highly overrated.  
  
Okay, so I'm enjoying being out at night alone for the first time in way too long, without Giles telling me how to do my job and Faith wisecracking every chance she gets but being alone is also kind of lonely. And yes, I know that's kind of a 'duh' thought, thank you very much, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. I mean, all I've been able to do with this sneaking around is stake a couple of fledges so dumb it wasn't even funny and probably get myself in trouble, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.  
  
I guess my freedom was not the only thing I was missing after all. I miss being trusted and I miss my old friends. I miss being able to go to Willow for some regular girl talk, not like the one I have with Faith that would probably be enough to make a pornographer blush, I miss being able to hang with Xander without feeling the urge to strangle him after a couple of minutes for being a guy. I mean, I know he is a lot taller than I am so he must usually look down to see me --I can deal with that-- and I understand that maybe his aim ain't so great, but the fact remains that last time I checked my eyes were on my face, not my chest. I even miss Cordelia, sometimes. That's kind of weird because even though she's mostly an accidental Scooby and we were never good friends to begin with, the fact that she's still her bitchy self around me is something of a relief, but since she's joined at the hip with Xander it's not like I can go to her either. The other one of them who still seems to be truly comfortable around me is Oz but for the most part he's either with Willow or rehearsing with his band... unless he wants to be alone.  
  
What does the fact that I'm more comfortable with both of my friends SO than with my friends themselves mean about how things are with us? I guess it means we are in trouble and I don't have a clue as to how to fix this mess... it also means I'm thinking too much so I guess I'd better head for home before mom and Giles figure out that their prisoner is AWOL.  
  
-o-  
  
I see my mom glaring at me as soon as I walk in the door, no surprise there, and I try and explain to her that Giles was being dictatorial, that works until Giles comes up from behind her. I'm **_so_** busted, but then again I was already kind of expecting that so it's not that much of a shock... and they've also called Willow, great just what I needed (not!). It feels just like Hemery all over again, with disappointed parental glares in stereo, which is something I'm so not used to any more. I mean, Giles is not my dad but sometimes he still gives me that look. I guess it's because he's my watcher, but having him team up with my mom is so not fair. They tell Faith, who is sitting on the couch pretending to watch TV, to go to her room and I know I'm in it deep.  
  
I try to tell them that I just had to get away but they are not really into listening right now. My mom assumes I was at the Bronze and I decide not to contradict her, it's not like she's likely to understand anyway. They are just there, eating their chocolate and running my life. They are **_always_** running my life and I can't take it any more. I'm trying here, I really am, but it's not working. I can't be who they want me to be, I can't take them bringing up the whole summer thing time and time again. I know I messed up, I don't need their constant reminders. I lived through the summer and I survived it, that's the part they don't seem to get. They are scheduling me 24/7... both of them, and there's no way I can fit **_that_** into my life... not when even here on the hellmouth days have 24 and not 48 hours. Of course there's also the fact that fitting their demands into my life would require me to actually **_have_** a life, which is something I'm apparently not entitled to... not right now anyway. After a couple of minutes of trying to talk to them, of trying to get them to understand, the whole thing kind of degenerates into a shouting match with my mom until Giles decides to intervene and tells us that we shouldn't 'freak out', which is a nice concept but the words are so definitely not Giles that it's not even funny. I don't want to be here, I can't take this any longer so I turn around and head for my room.  
  
I'm so relieved when my mom doesn't yell at me to get back in there. I close the door behind me and just plop down across my bed, staring at the ceiling wishing that my mom and Giles would trust me at least a little.


	17. Chapter 17: Smells Like Teen Spirit

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**  
  
Chapter 17: Smells Like Teen Spirit  
(Buffy's POV)  
  
As soon as I get to school I can't help but notice that there seems to be something wrong, the problem is that I'm not sure just what **_it_** is.  
  
At first glance everything appears to be normal enough but that doesn't keep my spider-sense from being all tingly... and not in a good way. It is while we wait for Giles to arrive to study hall that I start getting really nervous. Cordy says something about there being a rule somewhere about students being able to take off if a teacher is more than ten minutes late. I try to remind her that Giles is all but allergic to being late and yet I can't deny the very simple fact that for once he **_is_** late... and living on a hellmouth that can only mean trouble.  
  
With that realization the tingling of my spider-sense goes up a notch. I tune out Cordy as she starts babbling something about Giles being too strict which inevitably leads to something having to do with Xander. After a while Snyder arrives with Ms. Barton in tow, literally. It is clear that she doesn't want to be here any more than we do and for a moment I fear she's going to take her frustrations out on us but she doesn't... though that would almost have been preferable. As soon as Snyder leaves she asks us to pretend to read something until we are sure that Snyder's gone and then she tells us we are free to leave. At that the alarm bells truly go off in my head and as soon as she lets us out I go looking for Faith.  
  
Apparently whatever's gotten into Ms. Barton is contagious as Faith's class has also been let out. Together we run to Giles's place as fast as we can and as soon as we get there we realize that there's something wrong, the door's open... not just unlocked, as it usually is, but actually open. I gesture for Faith to get behind me and I push it carefully, dreading what I'm going to find. To my surprise I see a totally unconcerned Giles going through one of his cabinets while my mom sits on his couch.  
  
Seeing them both alive and well I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and I step aside, allowing Faith to come into the room. This was definitely not what I was expecting to find and I can't help but feel that there's something that's still off with this whole scene --and I still can't put my finger on it-- but just seeing Giles is enough to help me calm down a bit. I may not know what's going on but I'm pretty confident he does... and if he doesn't at least I can trust that he'll do some research and find out.  
  
I shake my head as I remind myself of just why we are here and of all the unusual little things that were happening in school today... starting with the very basic fact that **_he_** wasn't there. I also find myself wondering just what on Earth is my mother doing here. I mean, I know they've been talking a lot and I guess since they caught me sneaking around yesterday maybe they felt they had some things they had to work out in order to keep me on an even shorter leash or something like that but that doesn't quite add up either. Not only should Giles be working right now, my mom should be at the gallery... and of course there's also the little fact that --as far as I know-- they usually tend to try and run my life from my mom's living room. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen my mom here before.  
  
I confront them about the fact that neither one of them is where they should be and Giles confirms that he did call the school to let them know that he would be a no-show today and that this is indeed a summit to decide how they can better ruin, I mean run, our lives, how they can coordinate our schedules so that they are not pulling us in two directions at once, which would certainly be of the good if it weren't for that nagging feeling that in the end that will translate into 'seeing how we can close even the tiniest loopholes'. I am dismayed to realize that they have apparently added Faith to their list of prisoners. I try not to smile at my fellow slayer's soft groan --I guess I'm not the only one dreading the outcome of their little summit after all-- and I send an apologetic look her way which thankfully goes unnoticed by both Giles and mom.  
  
Seeing how they are only planning our lives I guess our input is not really needed. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should say anything, whether I should try to plead my case or if I'm better off playing it safe and keeping my mouth shut when my mom surprises me by handing me her car keys. There's something weird going on here, I'm sure of that now but before I can even think of what to say Faith beats me to the punch, snatches the keys, hands them to me and all but drags me out of there.  
  
It takes me a couple of seconds to react and I'm grateful for the fact that Faith managed to get us out of there before mom had a chance to change her mind. She's been really dead set against me driving so I don't know when I'll get another chance like this and I sure as hell ain't gonna waste it. I grin at Faith as she climbs into the car and we take off. We don't really need to talk about it, we are free for once and we are going to make the most out of it... seeing how things are going, it may not happen again for a while.  
  
-o-  
  
Somehow Willow ended up joining us in our little escapade. I'm not all that sure how I feel about it, I mean I like her and things are a lot better with her than they were when I first came back but her presence is certainly going to put an end to our wilder plans. A night out with Willow means going to the Bronze, where we could just as easily have gone without a car but still maybe if I can show mom that I can be responsible if she gives me half a chance, that will make her loosen up a little. Anyway, I look at Willow through the rearview mirror and I can see she is white as a sheet, saying something about the parking break. I look down and I realize she's right... no wonder this thing wouldn't do more than 20 miles per hour. I release the damn thing and then it gets much better. Faith --who's riding shotgun-- is smiling from ear to ear, while Willow is starting to look a little green around the edges. I decide she needs to relax so I start playing with the radio, hoping to find something halfway decent but it just ain't working.  
  
When we get to the Bronze Willow all but kisses the ground... I mean, I may not be the best driver out there but I'm not **_that_** bad. Faith just smirks at her as she heads in and stops dead on her tracks. I follow her and I see almost immediately what it was that caught her attention.  
  
Okay, so things were kind of freaky back in school earlier today but this is just too much. **_Grown ups_** seem to have invaded the Bronze in full force... I mean it's like everyone is here, up to and including Ms. Barton --who suddenly seems to be finding Willow's name downright hilarious-- and... is that really **_Snyder_** who's talking to us as if we were old friends?!?! Just what the hell's going on here? Oh, yeah, I forgot, not hell, just hellmouth.  
  
This is way past weird and I guess I just found an answer to the question of what had my spider-sense in an uproar since early this morning. I hear the music stop and when I turn around I see that a bunch of fat guys have hijacked the stage. Somehow I don't think this is going to be pretty.  
  
I turn to Faith who's openly staring... good to know I'm not the only one who's freaking out here.  
  
After a couple of minutes I feel someone coming from behind, someone who doesn't feel quite human but doesn't really feel like a threat either. I turn around and I let out a sigh when I realize it's only Oz, who points out the fact that grown ups are acting like... well... us.  
  
We need some answers and I know where to find them. I gather the gang and we head for Giles's place, with Snyder who --for whatever reason-- seems to have decided to tag along and is now criticizing my driving skills... great, just what I needed to cap a perfect day.


	18. Chapter 18: Of Kids and Grownups

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 18: Of Kids and Grown-ups  
(Buffy's POV)

We are halfway to Giles's place by the time Oz mentions the possibility that he too may have been affected by... whatever it is that has all the grown-ups around acting with all the maturity of sixteen year-olds, and I turn to Willow who has suddenly gone pale. I know the feeling. I left my mom with him... and if the fact that she voluntarily handed me her car keys is anything to go by, then we are in trouble. I really need Giles right now but I have the sinking feeling that I'm about to get a taste of Ripper instead.

I take a moment to explain to Oz that Giles at sixteen is not 'a pretty together guy' as he had first assumed but rather a 'bad magic, hates the world, ticking time-bomb kind of guy' and I see the look of disbelief on Faith's face. Yups, I can totally relate, I felt the same way when I first found out about it... I mean we are talking about my watcher here, the dependable guy I'm supposed to be able to rely on to tell me what to slay and what not to slay. When Oz mentions that then my mom is probably in a lot of trouble I floor it, not caring about Willow's increasingly obvious green complexion.

I'm too worried about my mom to notice a car speeding toward us and before I know it we've been hit, hard, but luckily no one got hurt... or rather no one got seriously hurt and right now that'll have to do. We get out of the car and have a good look around. It's like nothing about this night makes any sense at all. People who usually have the common sense to stay indoors after dark --even if they won't acknowledge why they are doing it-- are out roaming the streets without a care in the world and yet I can see no snacking vamps, and I do mean none at all. That just doesn't quite add up, no matter how I look at it. This should be a vampire's paradise, so where are the walking leeches?

I see Snyder unwrapping a candy bar and then someone comes along and snatches it from his hand. The little troll doesn't seem to be all that happy about that one... in fact he seems to be over-reacting badly. I turn to Faith and I see she's come to the same conclusion I have. We have a what, now we just need to come up with a how, a who and a why. What I do know is that this --whatever **_this_** is-- is not good now and the results probably won't be pretty either. I try asking Snyder where the bars came from but he doesn't really know. I tell Oz and Willow to find Xander and Cordelia, head to the library and take care of research while I go with Faith and Snyder to look for some answers at the source but first we must go to Giles's place.

After a couple of tries I manage to restart the car and we finally make it to my watcher's place with no further incident... except that as soon as we arrive we realize that Giles and my mom are not there and I know that's so not of the good right now. I shake my head, knowing that no matter how much I want to go looking for them we really can't afford to waste our time so we head for the candy factory.

When we arrive we are greeted by a rather disturbing scene. Hordes of waiting adults have somehow gathered here and there are a bunch of guys throwing candy bars at them. If we had any doubts that the candy was behind this mess they are gone now... of course not everyone seems to be focused on the candy, there's a couple that seems to be far more interested in each other than on what's going on around them. For a moment I wonder if I should tell them to get a room or if I should ignore them. I just hope they are making out with the 'right' person, otherwise they'll end up hating themselves once this thing is over. I mean, I know it's none of my business but I was there when my dad started cheating on my mom and getting caught in the middle of that one was so not fun. I'm still thinking about that when our little lovebirds turn around and I can almost feel my jaw hit the floor. I can barely stutter the words 'Giles' and 'mom' but that's enough to get Faith's attention, she turns around and before I know it she's gapping right next to me... good to know I wasn't the only one who was caught totally off guard by that scene.

It takes us a few seconds to gather our wits enough to interfere, of course they are ignoring us... I guess they are kind of busy right now. Eventually Faith pulls Giles's arm while I handle my mom and we drag them away from the crowd. That gets their attention though I can clearly see that they are not happy at having been interrupted. I so cannot believe this is happening.

I suddenly realize that my mom is wearing a coat she didn't own last time I checked --a coat she'd never let me get away with wearing-- not to mention the fact that it's still got the price tags attached... why do I get the feeling that she didn't exactly pay for it? Anyway, I try to dismiss those thoughts as I ask her if she knows me, I'm relieved when she does. I turn around to make sure Faith's still got Giles under control. I can see that he wants to challenge her but luckily even in his current condition he seems to be able to recognize her as a slayer and he has the common sense to hold back.

I look at Faith, hoping that maybe she'll have the first clue of what to do but she seems to be feeling just as lost as I am. All I can think of doing is trying to keep my mom and Giles from getting their hands on any more candy --or each other-- but even I know that's not the answer. We need to figure out what's going on here but in order to do that we are going to need Giles's help, not Ripper's but Giles's.

Keeping them away from the candy works for exactly two minutes but after that they decide that they don't have to listen to us, that they are the adults... now if only we could get them to start acting as such. In a desperate attempt to get their attention I point to the huge dent in my mom's car, hoping to get her mad enough at me, but the thing that causes her to freak out is the thought that she could have bought such a car in the first place while Giles is laughing his head off at her expense. This is so much worse than I had originally thought... and let me just state for the record that I wasn't feeling particularly optimistic before I came to this latest realization. I turn to Faith and I can see that she too is shaking her head in disbelief.

I try to order Giles to take my mom home but he's refusing to listen... which come to think of it may actually be a good thing considering how the two of them are acting. Well, that doesn't really make much of a difference, I know I have to put an end to this and that means I'm going to have to go tackle this situation at the source. I go up to the loading platform and stop the two guys who are giving the candy away... did I mention that that doesn't go too well with our little crowd of addicts? Well it doesn't, but luckily Faith's there to keep them from getting too out of hand.

Eventually I manage to drag my mom with me as I make my way into the factory itself and Faith follows us dragging Giles along in a similar fashion while Snyder insists on tagging along like a puppy. I scan my surroundings and almost immediately I'm rewarded with an answer to my questions concerning who could possibly be behind this one... come to think of it, it should have been kind of obvious. In fact I probably would have seen it coming from a mile away if I hadn't been so distracted by the thought of my mom stuck in a lip-lock of death with my watcher and all that... anyway, I can barely keep myself from groaning as I realize that the one behind this neat little mess is none other than Ethan Rayne.


	19. Chapter 19: Human or Something Like It

**_For notes, wantings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 19: Human or Something Like It  
(Buffy's POV)

Okay, I'm getting seriously freaked out here. First I had Ethan trying to hide from me --with **_trying_** being the operative word, seeing how it took me less than a minute to find him-- and now I have Giles urging me to hit him... hard. Personally I'm inclined to do as I'm told for once, but to see my usually restrained watcher so violence happy... well, let's just say that this is a side of him I had never really seen before and I'm not all that sure of just how I feel about it. Don't get me wrong, I've known for a really long time that my watcher is more than capable of some serious kicking ass when the situation calls for it, it's just that I had never seen him quite so eager to see **_me_** kicking some human ass, and --whether I like it or not-- Ethan is still human... or at least something like it.

As I said, tracking him down wasn't much of a challenge, in fact that was the easy part. The problem is that --in an attempt to keep his teeth attached to his gums-- the little weasel quickly informed us that this whole thing was not originally his idea, that he was just sub-contracting, working for someone else. Knowing as I do what line of **_work_** Ethan is in and who his clients are likely to be I get the funny feeling that things are about to get even uglier than they are now... and with Giles stuck in teenageland I have to admit that it really doesn't look good.

I know the Scoobies are working the library end of things right now and that could help some, but I am also very aware of just how many books there are in that place and without a clue as to what it is that they are looking for or where to begin... well, let's just say that the whole thing is bound to be kind of needle in a haystackish. Luckily Ethan's backbone is far from the most relevant part of his anatomy and he has a healthy sense of self-preservation... not to mention the fact that he also has a very clear idea of just how much damage a pissed off slayer can do. Seeing how he is now facing two of them, I'm kind of hoping that getting him to tell us exactly what we need to know won't be too difficult. Faith is looking almost gleeful as she asks me if she can have a go at him first so I just nod in her direction. This is her first encounter with Ethan but I seriously doubt it will be her last and she needs to know what she's dealing with here. Me? I'll just ask the questions, sit back and enjoy the show.

Going by what Ethan's saying, it looks like this whole mess was courtesy of our budding new master, a certain Mr. Trick who used to be Kakistos's right hand vamp and is now making a move for the top dog spot... not that it looks like he's going to have much competition. The truth is that from what we've been able to find out about him so far, this Trick character sounds like a real piece of work. He is not particularly fond of the old ways and he is not really into mayhem and chaos... and that would be of the good if it weren't 'cause it ain't. An entrepreneurial spirit is something you **_really_** don't want to see in a vamp and that's exactly what this Mr. Trick has. He is calculating, he doesn't take stupid chances and he rules his emotions rather than the other way around. It's not like Angel, Angelus, Spike or Drusilla and that makes this guy far more dangerous than any of them as far as I can tell. They were cruel but deeply passionate in a really sick and twisted kind of way, Trick is cold... deathly cold.

I ask Ethan why Trick wanted the city deserted, after all it wasn't like we ran into hoards of vamps on a feeding frenzy as we made our way here and that would have been the most logical scenario. That means that there has to be some ulterior motive behind all this planning and I know it can't possibly be of the good... it never is. It is then that Ethan makes the mistake of lying to us... or at least trying to. Giles is still adamant that we punch the daylights out of him, but while I'm aware that that's not really an option --seeing how we kind of need Ethan to be awake and able to answer our questions-- I still gesture for Faith to hit him... I can tell she's enjoying this, heck **_I_** would if I were in her place.

That gets the weasel talking, babbling something about a demon named Lurconis and a tribute that has to be paid, something so big they had to be sure that even here in the capital of denial-land there would be no outside interference. If Giles were himself this would be **_so_** much easier but he is not himself right now and that means we can't rely on him for information. That's just too bad... especially for Ethan. I push him a little harder for an answer but I get the feeling that he's not lying when he says he doesn't know just **_what_** this tribute is supposed to be.

Well, at least now we have a name the gang can research while we pray that they'll find an answer before it's too late, before the tribute --whatever it turns out to be-- is paid.

I'm still on the phone with Willow when I hear a commotion going on behind me and I turn around in time to see that Faith somehow got distracted and Ethan managed to get a hold of a piece of metal and now seems to be intent on clubbing me with it... in fact he's so intent on that that he's totally missed the fact that Faith is now standing right behind him and before I know it he's been literally thrown out of the action. That leaves me to deal with problem number two... did I mention problem number two before? Yups, that would be the fact that my usually restrained watcher is now pointing a gun at Ethan and seems to be determined to blow him to kingdom come. I know the feeling but unfortunately I also know that, once the candy wears off, Giles would never be able to live with himself so --even though it would be oddly fitting for Ethan Rayne to meet his end at the hands of a pissed off Ripper, high on his own cursed candy-- it's up to me to keep my watcher from doing something he is bound to regret.

I've barely managed to get the gun out of Giles's hand when I hear my mom telling me that Willow wants me... bad, so I just grab the phone again hoping that things won't deteriorate once more. At first I'm deeply relieved when she tells me that they've managed to identify the tribute but that relief turns to horror when she informs me that the tribute is a ritual feeding... and that Lurconis eats babies. Can we say ewww?

We have to move and we have to move fast. For all we know we may already be too late. Faith and I have only taken a couple of steps, hoping that for once the 'grown-ups' will follow us willingly but not having the time to worry about it right now, when my mom calls me back and asks me what are we supposed to do with Ethan. I have a few ideas but unfortunately slayers are not allowed to kill humans in cold blood so Faith and I turn to look for something we can use to restrain him... then **_my mom_** produces a pair of handcuffs from behind her back. Faith and I exchange a look at that but we really don't have the time to debate this latest development right now.

There's something strange going on here, and once this whole mess is over we are going to find out just what it is... even if I'm not entirely sure that I really want to know.


	20. Chapter 20: Trick's Treat

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 20: Trick's Treat  
(Buffy's POV)

By the time we finally make it to the hospital the babies are already gone, not that that's a huge surprise... the good news is that Giles is beginning to come back to himself, he's starting to remember and he tells us that we'll find Lurconis in the sewers. That is a huge relief not just because we really need whatever information he can provide but also because having to babysit Ripper is no picnic... the other positive development is that --as soon as the word sewer is mentioned-- Snyder bails on us as fast as he can. If I had known that he was going to react like that I would have suggested that we use the sewer system to reach the chocolate factory... and is it me or did that really sound totally Willy Wonka? Anyway, before I know it Giles and Snyder are arguing like a couple of five year olds about which one of them is 'filthy'. I pull them apart before things can get violent and then I grab my watcher and drag him toward the sewers with me while pretending not to notice that once again he is holding hands with my mom. Faith is following us with an amused expression. She may be having a ball watching them act like kids --and I have to admit that if there weren't so much at stake I'd be laughing with her-- but we have work to do. I take a deep breath and I resign myself to the fact that I'm about to sacrifice yet another pair of shoes to the sewer god... I know Giles and mom tease me about my shoe obsession but the fact is that in this line of work maybe I should just buy wholesale.

As we make our way through the sewers I can't help but wonder what I could possibly have done to deserve this... and I'm not talking about this whole candy business, in fact I'm not even thinking about my destiny as the slayer. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm seventeen years old and yet I'm almost more familiar with the sewer system than with the streets above. In fact I'm not even nervous about coming down here any more. That's just not right, I mean, why do demons have to be so fond of these damn tunnels? Couldn't we just have a few normal, giant alligators around here instead?

It doesn't take long for us to hear some chanting but I don't let that distract me. I know from painful personal experience just how difficult it is to track where the sound is coming from down here so I'm careful not to get too cocky... besides, we don't know just what we'll find when we reach our target, though I'm guessing Trick, a few minions and a really nasty demon. In other words pretty much our standard fare... of course with mom and Giles stuck in teenage mode stealth is not an option... not that I'm all that fond of stealth mode myself, it's just that it's nice to know it remains a possibility. After a few minutes I am certain that the voices are getting closer and I realize they seem to be coming from an open manhole. I suck in a big breath --which being down in the sewers is really **_not_** a good idea-- I take a quick look and I allow myself to crash Trick's little party... what can I say, my invitation was probably lost in the mail.

I am relieved when Giles, mom and Faith follow... okay I'd probably feel better if mom weren't here but I can't win them all and I figure that two out of three ain't that bad. I look around and I see Trick with three of his minions. That means that for the time being it's four against four... easy as long as big demon guy doesn't decide to show up... and I immediately realize that I just did a good job of jinxing that one.

I kick one of the minions while Giles and Faith each take one on... luckily Trick seems to be more interested in observing us than in going after my mom who he doesn't really see as a threat. After a few seconds I dust mine and then I move on to the one that Giles has all but incapacitated with a couple of nicely placed blows. Out of the corner of my eye I see Faith dust the third one... that leaves Trick and --if the rumbling noise that seems to be approaching through that tunnel is anything to go by-- Lurconis.

I turn around to face Trick... he's got to know he's lost now, I mean, he has two slayers in front of him and he's fresh out of minions but he seems to be ready to go down fighting. Unfortunately I hadn't counted on Giles pulling a Ripper. Before I know it he gets between us and Trick, and the vampire takes advantage of that opportunity to throw him into the junction, right in Lurconis's path. I have two choices, I can either fight Trick or save Giles. The decision is obvious but before I can make a move toward my watcher Faith beats me to it and pulls him to safety. With Giles out of danger --and with Faith keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn't try to play the hero again-- it only takes me a few seconds to dust Trick but unfortunately that is long enough for Lurconis to catch up with us and that means we are going to have no choice but to fight our way out of this one... and the babies and my mom are still caught in the middle of it.

The problem is that I came here prepared to fight vampires but I get the funny feeling that my stake will do little more than tickle Lurconis and that means I need a weapon... a big weapon of the kind I'm not likely to find just lying around in the sewers. I look up and I realize that while I'm unlikely to find a suitable weapon just **_lying_** around, I may have a shot at finding one that is **_hanging_** around. I have one shot and one shot only but that's better than nothing at all. You'd think demons and vampires would have figured out by now that torches and gas pipes are not really the safest of combinations but apparently they never learn... hopefully I'll be able to pull this one off without blowing us all to kingdom come.

I jump, grab the pipe and hope that my weight will be enough to break it loose... this whole being thin thing may be fashionable and it may make it easier for me to move in most instances but it does have its downside at times and I fear this could easily turn out to be one of those exceptions. Luckily it works and a few seconds later we are staring at the charred remains of a thoroughly cooked demon... I may have preferred mine medium-rare, but under the circumstances I'm not going to complain about it. For the time being I'm just glad this one is over... or almost.

I still have the SATs to look forward to. Those are tomorrow and somehow after everything we've just been through I don't think I'm going to be in top shape for them but it's not like I have much of a choice in the matter. My mom --still under the influence of the candy-- offers to write me a note and for a moment I'm tempted to take her up on it but... I guess tonight taught me something about responsibility. So I may flunk but then again I may not... and I'd just as well get it over with once and for all.

As we push the baby cart back to the surface I catch a glimpse of my mom and Giles holding hands **_again_**. I look at Faith and see that she's noticed. I know the two of us are going to have to talk about this new development, see how we are going to handle it but not now. Right now I **_really_** don't want to think about it. It's been a long night, I'm tired, we are safe and for now that's going to have to be enough... of course I also have the funny feeling that the image of my mom handing me those handcuffs is going to be enough to feed my nightmares for a while.


	21. Chapter 21: Girl Talk

**_For notes warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 21: Girl Talk  
(Faith's POV)

Okay, so it's been a really wacky day, which means that it was a pretty normal day for the most part. I mean, let's face it, wacky **_is_** our life. Of course there were a couple of surprises. I really wasn't expecting to see Giles and Mrs. S so into each other and that kind of caught us off guard... but in spite of the shock I also think it's kind of cute. All I know is that I really need to talk to B about it.

"So, any idea of just what are we supposed to do with those two lovebirds?" I ask, walking into her room and closing the door behind me.

"Nope, I mean I know we just saw them kissing and that kind of freaked me out but I don't really know how I feel about it... okay, maybe I do, I feel confused, which really isn't much help at all, come to think of it," she babbles and I can't help but smile at that. It seems to me like she's still freaking out.

"I know what you mean, just one question, do you think we got there in time?"

"In time for what?... oh, you mean before they..." she trails off shaking her head. She's totally unable to even form the words and I can't help but think that this is going to be fun.

"Yeah," I say, putting her out of her misery.

"I don't know... I mean they didn't really say anything about it but if those handcuffs were anything to go by..."

"Then we were way too late," I say, confirming her worst fears.

"I guess... and I guess it's going to take me a while to get used to the thought of my mom and handcuffs." That I have to agree with. Joyce and handcuffs? I never would have pegged her for the kinky type... not that I have anything against it.

"Yeah, it was kind of unexpected."

"Understatement much, Faith? I mean, it's my mom and Giles... an even if I already knew about Ripper to see them..."

"I know what you mean... and at least you already knew about Ripper before tonight, it was news to me, though I kind of had a feeling that tweedman had to have a wild side somewhere. No one can act **_that_** repressed unless he's hiding something," I mutter.

"Yeah, I know, but it was my mom!"

"You really aren't planning to move past that part any time soon, are you?" I tease her. It may be kind of cruel to do so when she's really freaking out over it, but what can I say, I'm easily amused.

"It's just that it was my..."

"So I guess the question is what are we going to do about it," I cut her off before she can even finish that sentence, otherwise we'll be here until tomorrow.

"Do?" she asks as if I were speaking a foreign language.

"You know, are we pushing or pulling here?" I explain.

"Uh?"

Okay, so I'm guessing the explanations just aren't getting through just yet so I clarify, "Do we push them together or pull them apart?"

"I really don't know. I mean, it's my mom and it's Giles and it's all very confusing," she whines.

"Why?" I ask, trying to get her to snap out of it.

"You are all for the pushing, aren't you?" she asks, really looking at me for the first time since this whole conversation started.

"Yeah, I think they are kind of cute together, besides G already knows all about us and the slaying and that's got to be a big plus... I mean, do you really want to have to worry about breaking in a brand new step-father who doesn't have a clue?" I ask.

"Please don't use the 'S' word ever again," she says, covering her ears.

"Face it, B, sooner or later your mom's gonna meet someone," I tell her.

"I guess, and I guess Giles is better than a killer robot, but still, it's my mom we are talking about," she mumbles.

"Do I even want to know about that robot?" I ask, seeing a chance to distract her from the night's events and maybe even get a juicy little story out of it.

"It happened last year... mom met Mr. Right, or so it seemed. It turned out to be a robot who was drugging everyone and who just kept searching for his 'wife' time and time again," she explains with a shudder.

"Only on the hellmouth," I say, shaking my head.

"I guess, so maybe Giles wouldn't be so bad after all, it's just that..."

"Come on, B, don't tell me you are still hung up on the fact that your mom actually has sex?" I ask, realizing that subtle just ain't gonna cut it here,

"And there you go again, with another 'S' word," she growls.

"What's your problem with that letter anyway?" I tease her.

"I don't know... and I know I should try to accept things between my mom and Giles, I mean, I guess I'm cool with the idea of Giles having sex --but don't tell him I said that, I'd never hear the end of it-- after all, I did do guys who were way older than him so I guess I can kind of understand it from his end but still, it's my mom and **_that's_** freaking me out."

"Well, B, I hate to break it to you, but for her age your mom is one hot momma so sooner or later you are just going to have to suck it up and deal... not to mention the fact that you are here, which means she must have had a sex life once, you know?" I say, pointing out the obvious.

"Thanks for the visual, Faith. I guess you are right but still, it's my mom and I just... you are really for it, aren't you?" she asks, rather suddenly... well at least she seems to have moved past the 'but she's my mom' part of it.

"Yeah, I mean, I like your mom and I like G... and I'm pretty sure he won't kick me to the curb if they get together. From where I'm standing that's definitely a bonus," I explain, hoping that she won't be too mad about that one.

"I guess I hadn't really thought about it like that. I mean..."

"It's okay, B. I know that's just me being kind of selfish but..."

"But you do have a point. So I guess pushing it is," she says, nodding her head once and I let out a breath I hadn't even realized I was holding.

"Great, now we just have to figure out how we are going to do it... and maybe if we can get something else out of this deal," I say.

"What exactly do you have in mind?" she asks.

"Some changes to the house rules?" I suggest, "I mean, come on, B, let's face it, the whole not having sex in the house thing kind of sucks."

"Actually, Faith, I don't think that's what mom had in mind. I think she was thinking more along the lines of not having sex, period," she tells me with a smile.

"But you see, that's the thing, B. I mean, what's the point of not having sex? It's not like either one of us is going to get to her wedding night as a blushing virgin... heck, being slayers chances are we won't even make it to our wedding nights so why worry? Why not have some fun while we can?"

"Try telling that to my mom," she mutters, shaking her head in disbelief. I know it's going to be a tough sell, but we won't get a better chance than this.

"Well, we could use this whole sweet mess to make a point. It's not like she has much authority to tell us **_not_** to have sex when her whole excuse for the way she was acting tonight is that she had reverted to being a kid, you know?" I point out.

"I like how you think, Faith. I mean, I'm not as into the idea of having sex three times a day as you are but I guess a little more freedom would be nice," says B, and I'm happy to see that she's beginning to get into the spirit of things... still her comment is something I can't quite let go of.

"You never really got over how much you hated what you were doing, did you?" I ask her.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Pretty much. I mean, I get it, you weren't out there that long but still..."

"Actually, I don't even think that was it... or it wasn't just that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there was more to it than that," she explains, "I think it was more like my inner slayer **_really_** wasn't happy about it, you know? I mean, I knew I could break the guys in half without even trying and there were times when the temptation to do so was overwhelming but I still had to hold back and let them do whatever they wanted, even when they were really hurting me. It used to drive me so crazy sometimes. That was one of the reasons why I left that diner in the first place, you know? I knew that if I'd stayed there much longer I would have ended up killing that creep and I just..."

"And that was one line you couldn't really bring yourself to cross... even though you knew that the world would probably have been better off without him, right?"

"I guess," she says, looking down at her hands.

"It's okay, I probably would have felt the same way if I'd been in your place, you know?"

"It was all so surreal. I mean, there I was after having sent Angel to hell and suddenly I felt like I had lost everything, like I had lost myself. I remember Angelus asking me during the battle what was left when I'd lost my friends, my weapons and my hope. The answer was 'me' but after all was said and done it was like I had even lost that and then in LA... things got bad, really bad. I had no idea of what I was getting myself into, you know? I mean I went into that diner looking for work and then when that creep came into my room that night it was just..."

"It's okay, B," I say, trying to reassure her. I hate it when she gets this lost. I know I suck at dealing with all of this emotional crap but right now I think I'm stuck.

"No, you don't understand. No matter how hard I tried, it was like I just couldn't make any sense at all out of what was happening around me... what was happening to me. I mean, it was so ridiculous and you are going to laugh at this but the truth is that before that day I had never really seen an erect penis, you know? Not in the flesh anyway, and then..."

"But Angel...?" I interrupt her.

"Angel was my first time, that's true, but things were kind of confusing after everything we'd been through, after seeing that the Judge had been reassembled and running for our life through the sewers... and the truth is that I didn't exactly look down. Besides even though he was really gentle with me there was a bit of a 'wham, bam, you are dead ma'am' aspect to the whole thing with his whole turning evil right afterwards and all that."

I'm not entirely sure of what to say to that. I knew she had been more than a little green when she ran away but I guess I had never realized just **_how_** green she'd been. I mean, it's not the end of the world, she lived through it and still managed to make it back home and that's more than I can say about most of the girls I've ever met but still... Buffy was **_used_** to being safe, she thought that was the way of the world and all that crap... at least I knew better. Not knowing what else to do I decide to try and steer things back to a slightly less slippery slope before I find myself out of my depth here... which I guess I already kind of am. I know she wants me to understand but I don't. I can't even imagine what being that green was like.

"So I'm guessing that between the total lack of experience and an inner slayer bitching about it the whole time, it probably got pretty rough, huh?" I say, lamely.

"Yeah, I mean even after I got kind of used to it there was this part of me that just kept trying to tell me that I was a warrior, that it wasn't my place, that I was stronger than they were. It kept taunting me with how easy it would have been to just... anyway, it was like a part of me kept wanting me to fight them off while the other knew I couldn't afford to do it... not if I wanted to eat, if I wanted to survive. That feeling never really went away."

"I never really thought about it like that but I guess that makes sense," I say, even if I'm not entirely sure I understand.

"You didn't have that problem?" she asks, sounding more than a little surprised.

"B, I get it that our inner slayer is a predator who likes to be on top, to be the aggressor. I get it that she ain't nobody's bitch but the thing is that by the time I became a slayer I was already so used to being fucked that it wasn't even an issue any more. That's where we are different, you see, I ran away long before I became a slayer, you had been a slayer for years before you ran away."

"Different perspectives?"

"That's a way of putting it."

"So, about mom and Giles?" she asks, putting an end to that topic, much to my relief... things got a little heavy for my liking there for a while.

"Well, I'm cool with it and you are getting there, now the question is what can we do to keep them from freaking out about it and running in opposite directions 'cause I'm so not looking forward to seeing them start blushing and stuttering every time they are in the same room for the next thirty years."

"No, but maybe a week or two could be fun... I mean, they do kind of have it coming."

"You are evil, B," I say shaking my head.

"Well, they do... after everything they put us through tonight."

"I'm not disagreeing with you, B, I'm just making an innocent comment here."

"Okay, 'you' and 'innocent' in the same sentence, now that's a really creepy mental image you know? I mean, warn a gal before you say something like that!"

"Like you are one to talk. Come on, we have some planning to do," I say, throwing a pillow at her.


	22. Chapter 22: Pushing or Pulling?

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 22: Pushing or Pulling?  
(Buffy's POV)

I've been thinking about my little talk with Faith regarding the question of what we should do about mom and Giles --whether we should be pushing or pulling-- and the more I think about it the more I realize she is right. I mean, the whole thing is still kind of freaking me out, I won't deny it and I know it will probably take me a few days to get over it, but that doesn't change the fact that --whether I like it or not-- sooner or later my mom will meet someone and she could certainly do a lot worse than Giles. I remember last year when Ted showed up... it was a nightmare and all my instincts were telling me that there was something wrong, even if I couldn't quite figure out just what it was.

The thing is that when Angel asked me who I would have liked to see my mom with, my answer was still that I wanted her to get back together with my dad, even though I already knew it wasn't going to happen... and even though I could still remember how bad things had gotten between them just before the divorce. In a way I guess I kind of wanted them to go back to the way things were when I was seven or eight, before all the fighting started... or maybe when they were still careful not to fight in front of me. The point is that my mom is not going to get back together with my dad, I know that, only now there's a chance that she will... well, kind of.

I know Giles is not really my dad but the thing is that over these past couple of years he's gotten to be more of a dad to me than my **_real_** father has been in a very long time... and by that I don't just mean these past couple of years either. I guess I had never really given it much thought but the truth is that my dad had been pulling away from me since long before the divorce... maybe I just didn't want to see it. I don't know. Everything is so damn confusing right now... I mean, it's as if just as I'm starting to get comfortable with my life something comes along and I'm back to square one, so why should this be any different?

The thing is that I still remember some of the arguments from just before the divorce and I think I can understand what was going on a lot better now than I did back then. Whether I want to admit it or not there had been something very wrong with my parents' marriage for years before they decided to call it quits and I think my dad had been itching to end it for a while... I just didn't want to see it. I mean it was my dad after all and I was supposed to be able to trust him, to believe he'd actually care and be there and all that crap. I was supposed to be able to go to him, but now I just don't know... maybe I still don't want to know... maybe I'm kind of scared of what I'd find if I were to start digging.

The truth is that I do remember things getting pretty ugly toward the end, though for the most part I just pretended not to notice because I was so afraid that saying anything about it would actually make it worse. Back then I thought it was my fault, that it was all because I was the slayer, because of what happened when I was kicked out of school and all that, but now I know that wasn't it. That was just the excuse my dad used to get away because he didn't want to stay with my mom... because he wanted to trade her for a newer, flashier model... one without the strings of a kid attached.

I think that for years he kind of stayed just because he didn't quite know how to break it off --not without getting tarnished in the process-- and the truth is that me burning down that gym just provided him with the acceptable excuse he had been so desperately seeking. I mean, I'm not stupid, I know who my father is, I know what he does and I know what kind of image he has to maintain if he doesn't want to jeopardize his position and his job. Fooling around behind his wife's back was something he could hope to get away with --it was something that was easily forgiven and even expected by his peers and clients-- but dumping his wife and daughter to run off with his secretary would have been a different story altogether. Leaving us without a really good reason would have been too costly professionally for a respected lawyer who wanted to be held in a position of trust. Leaving us to be with his secretary would have been costly, on the other hand, cutting himself free from a juvenile delinquent was more than acceptable.

Sometimes I really hate all this... how much everything's changed... how much **_I_** have changed. I mean, it hasn't even been a year since that whole Ted fiasco went down but everything is so damn different now. Back then I still wanted my dad to come back to me in spite of everything, I still refused to see him for who he was, now I just can't help it and it makes me so mad. I guess there's nothing like a couple of months in the real world to make you face reality... even when it hurts like a bitch.

I still remember the moment that caused me to face it, that brought this whole thing into focus even if it really had nothing to do with it, which come to think of it was kind of ironic.

I remember getting into a car with some guy. It wasn't anything special...it wasn't like it was something I hadn't done many times before or anything like that, but that time around something did happen. It was an SUV and it was fairly new but what I remember the most is catching a glimpse of a doll in the back seat and then there was this guy telling me to call him 'dad'. I mean, I know he wasn't my father or anything like that, even if the whole thing did make me just as sick, but the thing was that as I was there it suddenly hit me that that creep might just as well **_have been_** my father and that really freaked me out. I remember how I was desperately trying to convince myself of the fact that my dad would never do anything like that... and then I was hit by the realization that the doll's owner would almost certainly have said the same thing about her own father.

That thought was kind of an eye opener.

The thing is that even after everything I'd been through **_without_** my dad since the divorce --in spite of the forgotten birthdays and cancelled weekends--I still had refused to take my dad down from his cozy little pedestal. It took a nameless creep asking me to call him 'dad' while he fucked me to finally get me to understand... to get me to see what had been right in front of me all along.

The fact is that the divorce has been final for over two years now and in that time I've only seen my dad a couple of times. He did take me in for the summer once, but even that was kind of awkward. We were strangers and things were really weird. Even though I managed to guilt a couple of shopping sprees out of him, that didn't really make things right... not by a long shot. I could see how he had moved on, how he had gotten himself a brand new life and it was pretty clear that there was no room in it for me. In a way I guess that even back then I could see that I was nothing but a burden to him even if he did try to pretend that he cared... and now because of Ethan I have another chance.

The truth is that even though I've never really thought of Giles as dad material before now, for two years he has been the one I turn to for safety, support and understanding... he's even kind of affectionate in that stuffy, British way of his. Like what happened this past summer while I was in LA. As far as I know my dad never even called my mom to ask why I wasn't with him --even though summers with daddy were supposed to be part of their custody agreement-- he never even learned that I had run away and he certainly did nothing to try and find me... Giles instead spent his whole summer chasing every single lead he could possibly find in an attempt to get me to come home. So I guess in the end when I stop trying to force things to be the way I **_expect_** them to be and I try to see them instead for what they are the answer is kind of obvious... besides, Faith is also right when she says that --unlike pretty much anyone else-- we can be pretty sure that Giles won't try to talk my mom out of having her here.

In a way I guess it's kind of weird but somehow --without me knowing it-- these past couple of years I seem to have grown myself a brand new family and even though it is not what most people would describe as 'normal', somehow it seems to work a lot better than the one I was born into. I have my mom and a new sort-of-dad, I've picked up a sister along the way and even a couple of wacky cousins in the Scoobies, so I guess in the end the question I really have to answer is not if I want my mom to get together with a guy **_other_** than my dad but rather if I want my mom to get together with the guy who has basically **_become_** my dad.

When I think of it like that it's not even a question.


	23. Chapter 23: The Parent Trap

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 23: The Parent Trap  
(Buffy's POV)

Here I am, standing outside Giles's door and wondering how on earth am I supposed to pull this one off. Vamps and demons I can handle, no problem... telling my watcher that my mom is free and available so he better move it... well, let's just say that that's an entirely different story.

I just hope he won't bite my head off for messing with his life and putting him in the spotlight... I mean I know he's still acting kind of embarrassed following the whole band candy mess but really, he needs to get over it... preferably yesterday.

In the end I guess Faith got the better part of the deal, all she has to do is talk to mom. That's so not fair --I mean, with mom at least she can be all but certain that she won't pull a Ripper-- but I do understand why it has to be this way. I know Giles won't make a move unless he is sure I'm cool with it --and I guess that's kind of sweet-- so I'm here to give him my blessing... mom, I think she doesn't need quite that level of reassurance. If Faith can convince her that Giles is what she wants, she'll probably go for it regardless of how loudly I may object... she sure did when Ted showed up.

Which brings me back to another reason why I have to be the one to talk to Giles. No matter how much things may have changed since that happened, I'm pretty sure he still remembers how I reacted to that robot and somehow I don't think he wants to be on the receiving end of that particular reaction... not that I blame him. The point is that Giles is Giles and not a robot... and that does make a difference, now I just have to get him to see it.

The thing is that back when that whole mess went down I still wasn't ready to see my mom dating anyone... now I've gotten to the point where I'm willing to make an exception for him. Anyone else who dares to come within striking --or was that staking?-- distance will have to face a tag team attack by two pissed off, territorial slayers... we make no promises as to their survival. My mom is already spoken for... so what if neither she nor the groom to be know anything about it just yet?

The truth is that while Faith and I are pretty sure that this can work --and we won't take 'no' for an answer-- the fact remains that both mom and Giles need to get over their discomfort fast... and that's where we come in. We are going to make it work... whether they want to or not. The only thing that remains to be seen is if we are going to do this the easy way or the hard way.

Their choice is really simple, they can either do what we tell them to --as the reasonable adults they claim to be-- or we'll lock them up together until they get over it. Honestly, the way they blush whenever they are in the same room, you'd think they are a couple of teenagers who have a crush on each other and are unsure as to the other's feelings... no, come to think of it that's not right either. Most teenagers I know are far more mature than these two.

I mean, it may be kind of cute for the first fifteen minutes or so, but after that it does get kind of old... and the fact remains that, when all is said and done, we are talking about a guy who used to be known as Ripper and a woman who --when she's not trying to fit into the repressed ideal of what a suburban mother should be-- is into handcuffs. I mean, that may be a disturbing thought, one I really don't want to dwell upon, but as Faith would say, we are not exactly talking blushing virgins here so they may as well stop pretending. I'm pretty sure we will all be a lot happier when they do... at least I know I will.

It took me a while to get to this point, I won't deny it, but in the end it all boils down to the fact that I want my family to stay together and even though I know we don't really need a wedding to make it happen, I also know that without that wedding my family will always be in danger. Unless we can get them to get together there will always be a risk that someone else might take an interest in my mom and that most definitely wouldn't be of the good. Besides, I do want my mom and Giles to be happy and they do look kind of cute together.

I know what I have to do, so I take in a deep breath and I do something I've rarely if ever done before: I knock and then I actually wait for my watcher to open the door. What can I say? I may want them to get together but I'm not all that sure as to how Giles is going to react to what I have to say. I may want Giles and my mom to get together but that doesn't mean I'm eager to go one on one against Ripper... and that brings me to a nice tidbit having to do with strategy 101: delaying tactics are badly underrated.

Of course, there is one aspect in which I'm better off talking to Giles than Faith is talking to mom: at least I don't have to bring up Faith's ideas when it comes to the changes concerning the house rules. I mean, I'm pretty sure my mom won't rip her head off but I still wouldn't bet on it. Well, it was her idea after all and she **_is_** a slayer so I'm thinking chances are she will survive the encounter. Besides, even though I don't think my mom is going to be happy about what Faith is going to suggest, I still think she'll take it a lot better coming from her than she would if I were to dare say anything about it.

I know my mom is very aware of what I did this past summer, but I also know that for the most part she tries not to think about it and she could certainly do without the reminders... from Faith she is likely to handle them a little better.

Of course, in the end I know that if we get our way there will be plenty of changes so that may as well be one of them... I mean, Faith does have a point when she says that to be telling either one of us **_not_** to have sex this late in the game doesn't really make much sense... and I also know just how miserable she is, trying to live up to that rule. The only difference is that up until now she had never dared to say anything about it, at least not when mom's around. The thing is that while I don't really care about it one way or the other --I'm used to my mom's rules-- I do realize that for her it is a big deal.

House rules are among those things I suspect will be very different if we can manage to get mom and Giles to get together. So far mom has a tendency to let Giles take care of the slaying end of things and --even though I suspect Giles does say whatever's in his mind on the matter-- for the most part he tends to follow my mom's lead when it comes to the parenting end of it. If they get together that will probably change... and that's kind of the one thing that's freaking me out a little. I mean, Giles is a great dad for a watcher, but to have him as a dad for real is likely to be a pretty major adjustment... especially since I don't know if we'll be getting Tweedman or Ripper out of the bargain. I think it can be kind of cool, but I'm still not sure of what to expect.

I guess in the end it all comes down to the fact that I do trust Giles no matter what... sometimes even more than I trust my mom because I know he's less likely to freak, even when I'm still not entirely sure as to how he's going to react, like with Faith's latest suggestion. I can tell that my mom won't be happy about it and I know her gut reaction is going to be to shoot the idea down in a hurry, but I don't know what Giles is going to say about that one... of course I'm not even sure whether or not he's going to say anything at all, but that's so not the point.

The point is that if Faith and I get our way it's going to be a pretty major adjustment for everyone but --if those weeks I stayed at his place are anything to go by-- then I think maybe Giles is going to understand... besides, I'm pretty sure he really likes Faith, though sometimes I get the funny feeling that he knows a lot more about her than he should. It's not so much that he's said anything about it, just the way he acts, how he never seems to be all that shocked when she goes innuendo-happy... something she usually does every two minutes or so. He usually takes it in stride but sometimes he gets this sad look in his eyes.

Yups, Giles is pretty much our only option to fill in the role of dad in our twisted little family... and right now he's opening the door.


	24. Chapter 24: An Indecent Proposal

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 24: An Indecent Proposal  
(Giles's POV)

I'm trying to figure out what just happened here... something that would probably be a whole lot easier if it actually made some sort of sense. As far as I can tell my slayer just gave me her blessing to court her mother and the problem is that I really don't have a clue of what to do about it. In fact, come to think of it, it wasn't so much like she was giving me permission, it sounded more like an order and I certainly wasn't expecting anything like that. I know how protective she can be of Joyce and how she feels about most potential suitors so to say that her attitude caught me off guard would be an understatement.

The past couple of days have been very disturbing and the truth is that while the whole incident with the candy was deeply embarrassing --there's no denying that-- it was also oddly freeing in a really twisted kind of way. For once Joyce and I weren't a watcher and the mother of his charge, we were just us and the fact is that I found myself enjoying her company... beyond the obvious reasons. I can't deny that over the past couple of months we've grown very close as we've tried our best to deal with both Faith and Buffy's issues. It hasn't been easy but seeing how well the two of them seem to be coping I have to say that it's definitely been worth it. Sure there are areas in which they are both still more than a little shaky and there are things Buffy still refuses to talk about --and areas we haven't even begun to try and bridge with Faith-- but over all they are both doing much better than I would have dared to hope only a month ago. Now the problem is that the focus has suddenly shifted from our relationship with the two of them, to my relationship with Joyce and that's something I'm not entirely sure how I feel about.

The thing is that I do like being with her but I'm still not sure whether or not taking things to the next level would be a good idea. I'm still not sure if even trying would be worth the risk to both Buffy and Faith's progress. For better or for worse they are relying on both of us and in order to be able to help them, Joyce and I will have to continue to work together, there's no way around that. That means that if Joyce and I were to try and pursue a romantic relationship and it were to fail, the whole thing could easily backfire. A failed relationship between us would put both Faith and Buffy at risk...is that a chance we can really afford to take right now? It is a difficult decision, and now that Buffy and Faith have decided that they want us to give it a shot the danger has suddenly become all too real.

That's another thing I'm still not sure how I feel about... the girls meddling with my love life (or lack thereof). I feel incredibly flattered on the one hand because of what it means to have Buffy trust me enough to ask me to date her mother but on the other I want to keep control over some small aspect of my life and in that regard I can't help but resent the intrusion. There's so much at stake and I don't know what to do.

Maybe I should try to set my emotions aside for a moment and try to approach this situation from a more rational perspective. I do like Joyce --there's no question about that-- and I think I could grow to love her, given enough time... the only problem is that time is the one thing I know we don't have. In that regard a relationship with Joyce could solve a lot of potential problems, but they are mostly problems she is unaware of and they center mostly around something I'm not allowed to share with her. I'm not willing to lie to her, if we are going to do this I'm going to have to be as honest with her as I can without betraying the secrets I've been sworn to keep but the problem is that if this is going to help then dating her just won't do.

A relationship with Joyce could be a perfect solution, but for that solution to be effective it would have to take the form of a marriage and it would have to be --at least at first-- a marriage of convenience. I'm not sure whether or not she would agree but with Buffy's eighteenth birthday just a few months away, I am all too aware of the fact that I'm fast running out of both time and options.

The thing is that, even though I've never allowed myself to see it as a real possibility before today, marrying Joyce would allow me to protect Buffy and Faith no matter what happens with the test. Yes, I am confident that Buffy would be able to make it through her Cruciamentum in one piece with or without my help but I'm still not willing to bet her life on it, the Council be damned. I may not be able to prevent the test entirely but I am almost certain that I will have a shot at bending the rules without breaking any watcher oaths (something I'm still leaving as a last resort, should all else fail).

The problem is that I'm not sure how they are going to react to what I'm going to do, there's just no precedent, which is precisely what I'm counting on. I can make sure that Buffy survives, that's not the issue, but interfering with the test may very well leave me in an extremely vulnerable position, it may cause the Council to try to take me out of my slayers' lives and that's something I'm not willing to risk... unfortunately that is not my only concern. My other concern has to do with Faith and the fact that if push comes to shove she could easily find herself at the center of a legal battle I'd be bound to lose.

I am not blind, I know there are so many things the Council could try to do to make me toe the line, but I am also aware that there are a few measures I could take to protect myself and my girls... and I intend to take advantage of each and every one of them.

The thing is that if I were to marry Joyce the Council would no longer be able to hold my immigrant status against me, it would also mean that they would be unable to force me to leave Sunnydale and since the hellmouth is not going anywhere and the slayers are basically bound to it, I would be free to remain a part of their lives with or without their support. In addition to that there's also the fact that after the Cruciamentum Buffy will legally be considered an adult and, between modern laws the Council is not particularly fond of, and the fact that so many people here know that Buffy is the slayer, that would basically be enough to keep her safe. The beauty of it is that the Council would be unable to act against her without attracting undue attention to itself.

In fact I suspect that that's one of the main reasons why the Council insists on taking all potential slayers away from their families, on keeping them from having anything remotely resembling a normal life even though they know that the odds are stacked heavily against the possibility that any one of them will actually be called someday. Isolation makes them easier to control. That is one of the things I've realized lately as I've been doing an unusual amount of research in the psychology section of the library. The texts I have available to me here may be aimed at a high school or maybe a college audience, but hidden in them there's still some enlightening information if you know where to look... and I have to say that just looking has revealed some rather interesting tidbits.

Whether I like it or not, I can't deny that the pattern the Council follows with even potential slayers is remarkably similar to the one every single book describes as a textbook example of an abusive relationship in which one of the earliest warning signs is often the fact that the victim is systematically isolated. It's standard procedure for abusers to force their victims to sever all ties to their friends and families in an attempt to deny them any possible external help... and that's a pattern that is chillingly familiar.

The thing is that right now it is also a pattern that has been broken with the emergence of not one but two slayers that were never even identified prior to their calling and I'm determined to do my best to keep the Council from trying to reassert its control... and the one who would remain in danger after Buffy's Cruciamentum, especially if I were to marry Joyce, would be Faith. Even after my meeting with her mother, the fact remains that she is a minor in what could easily be deemed 'exceptional circumstances'... and with its contacts the Council could easily gain permanent custody of her.

The problem is that I'm all but certain that Faith would not survive if she were to be assigned to a more traditional watcher and in fact I'm fairly certain that the Council would not be too troubled by the thought of getting rid of a girl they almost certainly consider to be a loose cannon... and that brings me back to Buffy's **_suggestion_**.

The only thing we can hope to do to protect Faith in the long run is to adopt her, legally and making sure that every 't' is crossed and every 'i' is dotted... and once again that brings me to a situation in which Joyce and I would have to get married in order to pull it off. I know that talking Cristina into agreeing to allow the adoption to go forward is unlikely to be much of a problem. She was so eager to get rid of her daughter the last time I saw her that I'm reasonably confident that she would jump at a chance to have us take her off her hands on a permanent basis, severing all of her legal responsibilities toward her. Sure, she may try to get something out of the deal but I'm fairly certain that in the end she would agree. Having the adoption process finalized by Buffy's eighteenth birthday will almost certainly take some work, but I'm fairly confident that it is doable... though just barely.

As I think about that I realize that somewhere along the line I've made up my mind, only I'm not sure how Joyce is going to take it. I am hoping she will agree. There's too much at stake and even if I'm not all that certain of what she feels toward me, I do know she'd do anything to protect Buffy and Faith. I am all too aware of the fact that she wasn't all that convinced that taking Faith in was a good idea at the beginning, but I know that as she's gotten to know her better --as she's begun to understand where the girl is coming from-- Joyce has developed a soft spot for Faith... we both have... and who knows? Maybe in time things with us will develop to the point where we'll both be able to laugh at the way in which we first got together, but that's in the future. Right now we have more immediate concerns... like keeping both our girls alive and safe.


	25. Chapter 25: A Battle Plan for a Wedding?

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers, see chapter 1_**

Chapter 25: A Battle Plan for a Wedding?  
(Giles's POV)

I'm terribly nervous, I'll freely admit that much. I'm sitting in Joyce's kitchen and I have no clue as to what am I supposed to say. There's so much riding on the outcome of this little encounter... the fact is that whether I like it or not we are basically playing for both Buffy's and Faith's lives... and to make matters worse there's no way I can tell Joyce the whole truth.

"I'm guessing by your fidgeting that the girls paid you a visit as well?" she asks with a smile as she sits across the island from me.

"Buffy talked to you too?" I ask, shaking my head.

"Faith, actually," she corrects me. So this was an orchestrated maneuver... why am I not surprised?

"What did she say, exactly?" I ask.

"She was trying to be subtle in telling me that maybe what happened between us was not such a bad thing," she says with a smile before going on. "Faith has a lot of very nice qualities... being subtle is not one of them."

"I'd say. I got Buffy and I think the message was basically the same. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if she gave us her blessing or our marching orders."

"So, what are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know," I say, not knowing how to bridge the real issue, "how do you feel about it?"

"I'm not sure. I hadn't really given it much thought until Faith came up to me. To be perfectly honest I was trying to pretend that none of it had happened. Nothing against you, mind you, it's just that the whole thing is so..."

"Bizarre?"

"That's one way of putting it... not to mention that Faith decided that it would make a good leverage to try and get me to change the house rules... especially the 'no sex' part."

That most definitely sounds like Faith, so I ask, "what did she say?"

"Just that if we are going to use the fact that we had reverted to being kids to explain why we did what we did, then it's not fair for us to say that they can't have sex **_because_** they are kids... I hate to say it but I'm having a hard time finding a flaw in her logic, even if I don't agree with it."

"So, what are you going to do about it?" I say with a smile. It's good to see that what Faith lacks in terms of a formal education she more than makes up for in sheer smarts.

"I still don't know... I'm open to suggestions."

I think it over for a while. I know this is not going to be easy for Joyce to hear but I think it has to be said... and she has come a long way these past few weeks.

"I think maybe you should give in... with some restrictions, of course."

"You do?" she asks, more than a little surprised to see me side with Faith on the matter.

"Yes, it is most definitely something I wouldn't agree with under normal circumstances but the fact is that the circumstances are far from normal to begin with."

"What do you mean?"

"To be perfectly blunt, I don't think it's realistic to expect Faith to change her lifestyle in such a drastic way, so the end result of trying to forbid her from being sexually active in the first place is going to be that she will have no choice but to try to sneak around behind our backs and that could turn out to be far worse in the long run."

"And what about Buffy?" asks Joyce, forcing me to say what I had hoped to avoid.

"In Buffy's case I'm afraid we are dealing with an entirely different scenario. With Faith it's not realistic to expect her to stop being sexually active... with Buffy we are probably on the other end of the spectrum where it wouldn't be healthy to encourage her to wait."

"I'm afraid I'm not quite following you."

"I think we have to face the fact that we are dealing with one girl who was probably sexualized long before she graduated from preschool and one who has never had a sexual encounter that can possibly be described in anything remotely resembling a positive light. The situation with Faith is apparent enough, Buffy's on the other hand requires us to take a closer look to try and see where she's coming from."

"Where she's coming from?" asks Joyce. I know this is the one issue she is still trying hard not to think about but there's no way out of it right now.

"Try to forget about the fact that she's your little girl for a moment and think about what Buffy's sexual encounters have been like up until now. They basically range from Angel turning evil on us, to being coerced into having sex with the owner of that diner, to her time on the streets. I don't like it, but I think that by trying to forbid her from having sex we are in fact allowing her to put off dealing with the whole issue for at least a year and that delay could easily come back to haunt her."

"So you are saying maybe I should just give in?"

"No, not give in but maybe try to set some guidelines that can hopefully steer both of them towards a behavior that can possibly be described as 'closer to healthy'. For instance, especially when it comes to Faith, you could set some rules along the lines of 'yes to sex as long as it's not casual sex'... and even then you should probably keep in mind that chances are that for Faith that just means asking a guy's name before she sleeps with him."

"I'm just not sure I can handle it," she admits, not that I blame her. I would be uncomfortable myself with the whole scenario if I were living under the same roof as Faith... which I suddenly realize may soon be the case.

Shaking my head to try and dispel the mental image I say, "I understand that, and in the end the decision is yours, if it makes you uncomfortable then by all means, say 'no'. What I said was just my take on the whole situation... I could be mistaken."

"It is all so complicated. I keep hoping that one day all of this is just going to disappear, even though I know it's never going to happen... I know their pasts will always be with them and it makes me so mad."

"Being there for them is the only thing we can do," I say. I understand where she's coming from, I know what we are up against and I know it's not going to be easy but I know I'm not going to give up on them and neither will Joyce... and that brings me back to the other half of our little situation.

"So, now that the 'easy part' has been taken care of... what do you think of the girls' attempt at matchmaking?"

"I'm not sure, to tell you the truth, though I can tell you that it is a sad day when talking about Faith's request to have sex under my roof is 'the easy part'."

"I know what you mean," I say.

"So, what do you think?"

"I'm not sure, I've been thinking about it and I have some things I'd like to discuss with you, but it's not easy and it's probably not what you have in mind," I warn her.

"Okay, I know I've said this before but what do you mean?"

There's no way around it so I just blurt it out, "will you marry me?"

"Now I'm sure I don't understand," she says... not that I blame her.

"I know that sounds more than a little strange and is almost certainly not what you were expecting, but please hear me out. Buffy will be turning eighteen in four months, for reasons I can't really explain right now, that will put her in danger. I'll do my best to minimize the threat, I promise, I'll do everything in my power to keep her safe, but the truth is that things may get more than a little complicated after that... and that in turn could jeopardize Faith. The fact is that currently her custody status is temporary and we have no way to change it... I know it's not what you were expecting but I think if we were to get married we could legally adopt Faith before Buffy's birthday and that would serve to protect her."

"Protect her from whom?"

"The Council," I say reluctantly. I know Joyce is not one of their biggest fans and I'm hoping that that will be enough to help her see how serious the threat is.

"Why am I not surprised that they are behind this, whatever **_this_** is?"

"Will you at least consider it?" I say, hoping that she won't push for any additional information, even though chances are that she will.

"What aren't you telling me? I mean, I agree that legally adopting Faith to keep her safe from the Council's clutches is a good idea even if there weren't an immediate threat, but there's something else going on here, you basically said that much."

"Something is going to happen, I won't deny it and I can tell you that it won't be pleasant. To keep Buffy safe I'm going to have to walk a very fine line between my duty to the Council and my duty to her... and I want you to know that if it comes to it I will put Buffy first. The thing is that if it comes to that the Council could very well try and have me removed from the country, to have me taken out of the girls' lives permanently and that would leave them in a position to assign a new watcher to them."

"So you are thinking that if we were to get married that would basically take care of most of the leverage the Council currently has on you?"

"Yes. They wouldn't be able to force me to leave and they would find it a lot harder to try and gain legal custody of Faith if she is our daughter. I won't lie to you, things are likely to get difficult for a while, but I think this may be the best chance we are going to have to keep them both safe."

"You are really worried, aren't you?"

"Yes... in these past few weeks I've learned some things about the institution I've served all my life that are more than a little disturbing. The Council was supposed to support the slayer, but the more I think about it, the more apparent it becomes that it has become a threat to the very slayer it was supposed to support. I just want to make sure they won't get their hands on either Buffy or Faith."

"Okay, I'll marry you. I never thought I'd be in a situation such as this, but I trust you. I wish you could tell me more about what's going on, but I understand why you can't."

"Are you sure?" I blurt out, totally surprised by the fact that she's actually saying 'yes'.

"For Faith... at least for now. There may be more there somewhere down the road or there may not, but I won't put Faith in danger while we try and figure it out. You've said it yourself, we've only got a few months to work things out, and going by what you just told me it's not like we can turn to the Council for help to speed things up. That means we are going to be cutting it close as it is... so I'm guessing we'll be going to Vegas?"

"Yes, it may not be the most romantic thing but we really don't have time for anything else."

"I'm not worried about the fact that it's not particularly romantic, I'm more worried about the possibility that a Vegas wedding will attract too much attention from the INS."

"I don't think we should worry too much about that. There's nothing particularly remarkable about us. We are in a similar age range, we move in similar circles, my legal status is not currently under investigation and we can easily demonstrate that we've known each other for two years. Besides, people know we grew very close over the summer when Buffy was missing so that should work on our behalf. If anyone should ask why such a rushed wedding we can give them some sort of variation of the story we gave the counselor a few weeks ago. We can say that one of the main reasons why we decided to make our relationship official in such short notice was because we wanted to give Faith a sense of belonging by adopting her legally and that we had to get married in order to do that. As for the Vegas wedding, well that's just a formality as far as we are concerned, but it was something that we had to do as soon as possible because Faith is not allowed to leave the country with us prior to her situation being legalized and we **_are_** hoping for a big wedding in England over the summer. That should be enough to explain a seemingly rushed wedding in a rational way to even the most paranoid bureaucratic minds."

"You've really given it a lot of thought, haven't you?"

"Yes, well, I do realized how much is riding on this," I say, not willing to admit that I haven't been able to sleep wondering how this whole scene was going to play out.

"Well, that certainly takes care of one of the problems. The second one is how to make sure Faith's adoption is final in less than four months. It may not be my first choice --or my second or third for that matter-- but I think the best thing we can do is to give Hank a call. I won't go into details with him, obviously, but he is a lawyer and he may be able to recommend us a good attorney that specializes in family law in Massachusetts. I really wish we could do this without getting him involved, but I think he's our best bet right now."

I agree, seeing how neither one of us would know where to begin looking for someone to help us through this and we really don't have time to shop around.

"Luckily I don't think Cristina is going to object, so hopefully that will speed things along," I say.

"Well, at least that's something," says Joyce, shaking her head in disbelief. "I just can't believe we are really going to do this. So, what are we going to tell the girls?"


	26. Chapter 26: Viva Las Vegas!

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 26: Viva Las Vegas!  
(Giles's POV)

This may not be the way I envisioned the day in which I was to get married but somehow it is oddly fitting... come to think of it I never really saw myself as getting married, period. Even after my 'return to the fold' after the whole mess with Eyghon I promised myself that I'd never get married. I saw what my father's duty did to my family and I refused to become **_breeding stock_** for the next generation of watchers... and yet against all odds here I am, in a small chapel in Las Vegas getting married to my slayer's mother, with my other slayer standing by and a couple of their friends acting as our witnesses. The whole thing feels both incredibly wrong and incredibly right at the same time... and I can't help but smirk at the thought of what some of the most **_honorable_** members of the Council would say if they could see us now.

The thing is that while I'm not breaking any oaths, I am breaking about a dozen unwritten rules by marrying Joyce and I will break even more by legally adopting Faith without the Council's knowledge or their blessing.

Right now both Buffy and Faith are looking incredibly pleased with themselves, and even their friends are trying to give the moment as much respect as they can, though I'm well aware of what a strange lot we must seem, with a group of teenagers as our only 'guests'. Oz and Cordelia, being the only two of them who are over eighteen, are acting as our witnesses... well, at least we didn't have to resort to the 'professional witnesses' the chapel keeps on standby for unplanned weddings, so I guess it could have been worse.

The truth is that it had to be this way, there really was no choice. We are trying to keep everything as quiet as we can, hoping that word of this wedding won't get back to the Council before all the paperwork concerning Faith's adoption is signed, sealed and delivered. We drove here yesterday in Oz's van as soon as school let out and, since today is Saturday, that means that Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia will be back in Sunnydale by Monday. In addition to that we also made sure we notified Snyder of a family emergency that would cause both Buffy and Faith to miss most --if not all-- of next week.

The thing is that both Joyce and I know we don't have much time, but we do have a plan... even if the girls still don't know anything about it.

Tomorrow morning we are going to be flying off to Boston for our 'honeymoon' with both slayers in tow. In fact that was one of the main reasons why most of us ended up piling up into Oz's van in the first place, even if it meant that we were making a fairly good impersonation of sardines... and yes, I know I sound bitter about that but I'm both too tall and too old to be riding a van with a damn loft in it.

Sure, Xander and Cordelia drove here in Cordelia's car and the two of them were very comfortable, but the fact was that having a third car would have ended up being a major problem after we got here simply because half of us won't be driving back to Sunnydale. Unfortunately that gave us very few options, seeing how my car isn't much better than Cordelia's when it comes to accommodating more than two people and Joyce's car --which would have been ideal under the circumstances-- is still in the shop.

The fact is that we are here and things are about to get set in motion... finally.

We already have an appointment with an attorney Hank recommended. Luckily Joyce's ex came through for us this time around and he managed to put us in touch with a friend of his, even though he was more than a little curious about **_why_** we were so eager to get married and adopt Faith in such short notice. It took some effort for Joyce to avoid his questions without saying anything about Buffy's experiences this past summer but in the end she did it.

The thing is that Hank's friend agreed to meet with us first thing Monday morning and we are hoping to be able to talk to Cristina tomorrow so that she'll be able to join us then. If all goes according to plan --and seeing how we already have most of the papers we are likely to need to get things moving ready-- he says that maybe it would even be possible for him to file the adoption papers with all the required signatures by Monday afternoon and then, if all goes well, the whole process should be finalized in less than a month. The truth is that that is much sooner than I would have dared to hope for and that also leaves us with a three month margin for any unexpected delays, which is definitely an advantage..

Luckily it seems that, if Cristina and Faith agree, the whole thing will be basically a rubber-stamp adoption that is not likely to be questioned or challenged and that will speed things up significantly. Once the adoption decree is issued the process will be complete. The papers we are hoping Cristina will sign are written in such terms that they will make it absolutely impossible for her to change her mind later on no matter what... and that is a reassurance I am most definitely looking forward to.

The thing is that we never really told the girls what we are up to, what's behind our decision to get married in such short notice. I have to say, however, that their faces when we told them we were getting married over the weekend were absolutely priceless. They were clearly not expecting that but they did take it in stride, even if their first reaction was to check for signs of possession and to make sure we were not under some sort of spell.... it was a **_natural_** response, one that leads me to believe that we've really been living on top of a hellmouth for far too long.

Once they were reassured of the fact that it was indeed our decision they were quite happy with the development and I'm confident that Faith won't object to the idea of being adopted, though I'm less certain of how she's going to react once she learns we are going to Boston, or when she realizes that she's going to have no choice but to confront her mother.

I'm hoping the whole experience will bring her some sort of closure but I'm not willing to bet on it. I may know the basic facts of Faith's past but I also know the information I have is terribly sketchy when it comes to the details... I know it was bad, but I have no clue as to how bad it really was.

Whatever she went through though, I know it was enough to cause her to think of the streets as a safe haven and to get her to stay there for two whole years... and if she perceived that as being preferable to the alternative, well, let's just say that I don't really want to know what she felt her other choice --home, the one that should have been safe-- was like.

What I do know is that in the time I've known her I've only heard Faith mention her mother twice in the passing and both times it was in less than favorable terms. In other words, I'm fairly certain that seeing Cristina again is not something she's looking forward to, but hopefully she will understand why it has to be done. I know it's going to be quite painful for her to be confronted with her past like that, and that was one of the main reasons why we decided not to tell her about the adoption prior to the wedding. We wanted her to be able to relax and enjoy herself today as much as possible under the circumstances and we knew she wouldn't have been able to do it if she had been worrying about what tomorrow will bring.

I know it's not going to be easy for her, I know that a part of her will be hurt by the realization that that door to her past is going to be closed forever but I am confident that in the end she will realize that, in the long run, the benefits will far outweigh the pain. I just hope she'll see this as an opportunity for things to get better for her, and not just as a slayer.

I am not kidding myself, I know the adjustment won't be easy for her, but if nothing else I know how strong she is, though I also know there are several things that will have to change. I know she has developed a really close friendship with Buffy and I'm fairly certain that that's going to help her make the adjustment, but on the other hand I'm still not sure how Faith sees either Joyce or me... or rather I'm not sure how she thinks we see her.

That's something I've never given much thought to, but the fact is that when Joyce brought Faith into her home she tossed her into a set of circumstances she was in no way equipped to handle... and if her request concerning the whole 'sex under Joyce's roof' rule is anything to go by, then the adjustment was far more difficult than either one of us realized. In a way I am more troubled by the fact that we didn't even notice she was struggling than by her request itself... and I'm also troubled by the fact that I've been so distracted thinking about both my slayers, who are now really my daughters, that I almost missed the minister's cue for my "I do".

-o-o-o-

**_Author's note_**: Yes, I know I'm oversimplifying the adoption process... sorry about that.


	27. Chapter 27: Glimpses

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 27: Glimpses  
(Giles's POV)

I'm watching Faith's reaction as we tell her the real reason behind our decision to get married in such a hurry. Her first reaction is utter shock until Buffy throws herself at her and hugs her... that seems to snap her out of it and after a few seconds I am treated to something I suddenly realize I have never seen before: Faith's smile. I had never even realized that it was something I was missing but the fact is that this is the first time I've ever seen her smile a truly genuine smile since I met her.

The good news is that going by both Buffy and Faith's reaction to our decision to adopt, I think I can safely assume that they are happy with the idea but the fact is that I still have a lot to think about... especially because it's suddenly hit me that there's no turning back now and my life will never be the same again. We may have taken this step to keep Faith safe from the Council but that doesn't take away from the huge responsibility we've taken on. For better or for worse I am about to become the father of a girl who has been badly damaged and it will be up to Joyce and me to try and repair as much of that damage as we possibly can. I wish I could say that it will be up to us to undo that damage, but the fact is that that is not really an option and we both know it.

I know that getting married was the right decision --I'm not questioning that-- but that knowledge does nothing to change the fact that I hadn't really given much thought to what this step would actually mean in terms of the girls... especially when it comes to Faith. The rational part of my mind knows some of what she's been through, but that doesn't mean I can understand it... in fact more often than not I refuse to see it. That's why her smile caught me so off guard, that's why it was an almost painful reminder. In a way seeing her smile like that was like getting a glimpse of the girl Faith could have been --the girl she **_should_** have been-- and realizing that that girl is a total stranger.

The thing is that I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the magnitude of the responsibility I've just taken on, even if the rational part of my brain knows that it is not really a new responsibility, that in one way or another I've been playing the part of her father from the day I first met Faith... and to a lesser extent the same goes for Buffy. The thought of deserting either one of them has never really crossed my mind but now I suddenly realize that that's no longer an option. It may not be quite official just yet but the fact is that I'm a father now and suddenly I'm being confronted with the realization that there is a very big difference between saying 'I love them as if they were my very own' to actually being their father.

Am I ready for this? I don't know, I never really pictured myself in this role before but I do know that if that brief glimpse I got of Faith's smile at the thought of being adopted was anything to go by, then that is not really the issue. The issue is that I most definitely want to do everything in my power to get to know the girl who is still hiding somewhere behind the brash facade and the wall of innuendo... of course, I'm not kidding myself, I am all too aware of the fact that getting to know her will be anything but easy. She's had sixteen years to build up her defenses and I'm not naive enough to believe that tearing those walls down is something that's going to be accomplished in a matter of days or even months.

It is hard to explain, I'm not sure I understand it myself but at times it feels almost as if my whole life were suddenly out of control and the truth is that even thinking about that terrifies me. Ever since the whole incident with Eyghon my life has been all about trying to stay in control, in control of my mind, my magic and my body... or at least it was until the day Buffy walked into the library and told me in no uncertain terms what I could do with my dusty old book about vampires.

From the moment I met her she seemed to be determined to turn my life upside down. She was everything I **_wasn't_** expecting and then --when Willow and Xander were added to the mix-- things slipped even further from my grasp. I remember how I fought that loss of control back in the beginning. It was hard, I won't deny that, but now it finally feels like things are where they were meant to be all along. I don't know what's going to happen, what tomorrow will bring, but there is a voice in the back of my mind telling me that we've just set something in motion --I don't know what-- and that that something is now beyond our control.

The thing is that back when I first met Buffy I hadn't really realized that the slayer is a girl. I knew it, of course, but I didn't really have a clue as to what that meant. As stupid as it sounds, there's nothing in the way the Council trains its watchers that even remotely prepares them to deal with a girl. For a watcher a slayer is not supposed to be a girl, she's not supposed to be a person, she is just a tool that is to be broken to the watcher's --and by extension the Council's-- will. 

When I first met Buffy for me the slayer was a mystical warrior I had spent many years reading about, that part I could deal with, but a girl who insisted on dating and cheerleading? That was something I most definitely wasn't expecting and it certainly took some getting used to... and let's not get into the whole falling in love with a vampire cursed with a soul either, or the ensuing fiasco when said vampire **_lost_** his soul. The thing is that while I was ready to deal with the warrior I was in no way prepared for the realities of the girl behind the slayer and much less was I ready for the challenges we've had to face since Buffy ran away or with any of Faith's issues. None of those things were ever mentioned in the Watcher's manual... luckily.

I know the coming months are not going to be easy for any of us. There will be Buffy's Cruciamentum to deal with and probably a confrontation with the Council. That is something that is never far from my mind but I also know that that's in the future. Our most immediate concern has to do with Faith's adoption... and the fact that --even though she seems to be excited about the prospect right now-- the next couple of days probably won't be easy for her.

In order to make things legal we have to travel to Boston and I don't think she has realized just what that is going to mean. Whether she is ready or not she is going to have no choice but to come face to face with her mother and I'm more than a little worried as to how she's going to react to that. She's come a long way since she first arrived in Sunnydale, terrified after having seen her first watcher tortured and killed in front of her. She's getting used to actually having a family and going to school... in fact she's even gotten to the point where --even though it's been less than a month since she was admitted to school-- she's already managed to get her grades to a D average and that's remarkable considering the fact that she skipped a grade and it had been two years since she'd set foot in a classroom. In that regard things are progressing much better than I could have dared to hope for, so much so that I think by the end of the school year I may even have enough evidence to be able to 'talk' Snyder into allowing her to skip her junior year all together and graduate with her age group rather than a year behind.

Of course Faith's academic performance hasn't been the only pleasant surprise. She's also gotten better and more confident when it comes to her slaying and she's even starting to develop something that is edging closer to a friendship than a passing acquaintance with most of the Scoobies as Buffy tries to rebuild the bridges that were shattered when she ran away.

True, so far Faith **_hasn't_** made any real friends in her own class and that could become an issue next year when Buffy and the rest graduate and go off to college, but in a way that was almost to be expected, seeing how she is older than most of her classmates and children tend to be cruel... not to mention the fact that she has nothing in common with them. They are the sheltered offspring of fairly affluent, professional parents for the most part, Faith is a street urchin who is more familiar with what goes on in dark alleys than in trendy malls and that's a gap that neither they nor Faith are likely to be able to overcome any time soon.

On a personal level there are, of course, plenty of issues that remain unresolved, in fact most of them aren't just unresolved, they are also untouched, but the fact is that she has come a very long way and if nothing else at least I can say that now I'm confident that we will be able to overcome whatever her past throws at us... but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy, not by a long shot... and that brings me straight back to our most immediate challenge.

The thing is that even though Faith's been doing great lately and I don't want to do anything that could possibly compromise her progress, the next couple of days are going to be critical. In that regard I'm not sure whether or not she's really ready to do this, to face Cristina and her own past, but unfortunately I do know that we can't afford to wait.


	28. Chapter 28: Of Things that Go Bump in th...

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 28: Of Things that Go Bump in the Night  
(Faith's POV)

I'm sitting in this fancy attorney's office, looking at the door and the truth is that I'm shit scared.

We got here about half an hour ago and the suit's been telling us exactly what's supposed to happen... it was all a very rosy colored picture and I barely refrained myself from pointing out the obvious fact that my mother probably won't be too eager to play along. Now we are just waiting here for mommy dearest to make her memorable entrance and I really don't have any doubts at all as to the fact that it **_will_** be memorable... even though I'm fairly certain it's going to be one of those things I routinely add to the list of shit I'd like to forget.

Shaking my head I let out a sigh. I mean, being here is not one of my top ten favorite things, even though I'm really happy about the whole **_why_** we're here deal. I still can't believe that G and Mrs. S... that G and Mrs. G --and I know that getting used to calling her Mrs. G is going to take some getting used to... I'm not even going to try going for 'mom'-- actually want to go through all the trouble of adopting me, that in fact that was one of the main reasons why they decided to get married in the first place. I mean, when they told me yesterday I thought they were kidding me but they weren't and so here we are. The whole thing is almost enough to make the idea of seeing my mom worth it but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy... or pretty.

I'm not hoping for a miracle here. I've known her for long enough to have given up on her ever changing and that's part of the reason why I'm nervous... really, _really, **really**_ nervous. 

I know it's silly, I'm a slayer, I should be able to handle seeing my own mother in broad daylight, in a nice and cozy office, but oddly enough that's not really the case. Demons and vampires I can handle, but my mother is a different story. Funny how when I think of the things that go bump in the night there's just one monster that's still terrifying enough to keep me awake.

The thing is that I haven't seen my mom since I ran away and I get the funny feeling that she's not exactly looking forward to a joyous mother/daughter reunion here... I sure as hell know I'm not. I just hope she won't be too wasted when she comes in the door. I really hope she won't make too much of a scene this time around but I'm not exactly holding my breath on that one. Yeah, I'm scared shitless here --I won't deny that-- and even though it's been a really long time since I last saw her, the fact remains that as far as I'm concern it hasn't been anywhere near long enough... and the truth is that even I could have used a drink before this little encounter.

I just don't want her to blow this for me. I mean, I know at least G probably knows something about her so he probably won't be too shocked, so that's a really wacky kind of comfort and B knows enough about me to have a pretty good idea as to what to expect, but I'm kind of worried about what Mrs. S is going to think. I know her and she's pretty much everything my mom isn't and even though I know it's stupid I keep wondering what will happen if once she meets Cristina she decides that she doesn't really want me... that she doesn't want to take a chance that I'll turn out to be just like my mother, that she doesn't want to take a chance that I'll wreck her life like I wrecked my mom's.

Yes, I know all about how I fucked up my mom's life. She told me plenty of times that if it hadn't been for me --if I hadn't come and ruined everything for her-- she could have had a nice life, she could have been someone.

The thing is that I'm well aware of just how my mom feels about me, after all, it's not like she ever made a secret out of it, but up until yesterday I kind of thought that it was my secret... only now I realize that I should have known better. Up until yesterday I had never really given much thought to the fact that G must have gotten some sort of paperwork from her in order to be able to get me into school, but after we landed here in Boston it became kind of obvious. As soon as we got to the hotel he disappeared for a couple of hours and then when he came back he told us that everything was ready for today's appointment. Care to wager on just who it was that he tracked down in those hours?

I don't know what he told my mother and I sure as hell don't want to know what she told him but the thing is that here we are and I know that --for better or for worse-- he's met her before and that means that he's likely to know what to expect. I mean, sure, I'm not happy at the thought that he went snooping into my past behind my back but I guess I can kind of understand why he did it. The thing is that even though I'm not entirely sure of how much he may know about me or how I feel about the whole thing, at least it means that I don't have to worry too much about anything my mom may say in front of him. If nothing else the fact that he knows her means that he probably knows what to expect, but Mrs. S is a different story and I have no clue as to how she's going to react.

I mean, I'm about to have a family... like the ones I used to see on TV and dream about back when I was little, before I managed to convince myself that those families couldn't possibly be real. I'm about to be adopted into a family that actually wants **_me_** but I can stop thinking about all those times my mom told me how I had ruined her life and I can't stop wondering what to do if she decides to ruin mine back. I did try to be a good daughter to her when I was little --I really did-- but I guess I didn't know how.

I used to try and stay out of her way for the most part --and for the most part I did learn to duck early on-- but back then there were also times when I couldn't help but to try and get her to like me... not that she ever did. No matter what I did she hated my guts and there was nothing I could say or do to make her change her mind about that one. She kept telling me that I was a monster and that no one could possibly ever love me... that she tolerated me because it was her duty and she was stuck with me, but that that didn't mean she had to like it.

I also remember how once --when I was seven or eight-- I was stupid enough to get mad at her and tell her out loud that I didn't like her and her telling me that she didn't give a damn about whether I liked her or not as long as I feared her... and boy did I fear her.

In a way that was kind of funny 'cos she didn't use to hit me all that often, that was her boyfriends' department. Sure, my mom did lose it sometimes but usually that was when she was so drunk that she couldn't even see straight, so more often than not I managed to get away after a handful of blows and then she'd either pass out or go for another drink and she'd forget all about me, but her boyfriends were a different story. I was theirs to do with as they pleased and they knew it.

The thing is that all of that is about to be over now. I'm sitting here in a really fancy office, waiting for my mom to walk in the door and set me free... and I'm shit scared that she's going to do something to close the door, to drag me back. I don't want to have to go back... the things that go bump in the night, those I can deal with, but this, this I'm not so sure I can handle.


	29. Chapter 29: Mommy Dearest

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 29: Mommy Dearest  
(Faith's POV)

"So, there you are you little bitch," are the first words out of my mother's mouth as soon as she walks in the room and even from a dozen feet away I can smell that she's got a couple of drinks on her... no surprise there, but even though she's more than a little tipsy luckily she's not entirely drunk either. I try not to shrink back, determined to hold my ground. If this is how she wants to play it, I'm game.

"Missed you too," I spit back at her, feeling the tiny hope I had been holding onto almost in spite of myself that things would be different this time around shatter.

"Please, ma'am," interrupts the lawyer before things can get too out of hand, "if you would please take a sit we can get this over with."

"Whatever," says my mother checking me out and I try to hold still. "So, you think you are such hot shit now, don't you? You think that you're so much better than me."

I bite my lip to keep myself from answering, knowing that I can't afford to react, not if I don't want to piss her off even more, so she goes on.

"What? You are playing miss goody two shoes now, keeping your nose clean and your legs closed? Do they know who you are? Do they know **_what_** you are or do you have them fooled? I know you, Faith, I'm your mother but you just sit there looking down on me with your fancy clothes. You think it matters? Take the clothes away and underneath it all you are still the same little whore you've always been, the one who kept luring my men into her bed."

I can't help but look down at myself at that. Mrs. S took me shopping before the wedding, saying that she wanted me to have something nice to wear. At first I couldn't quite figure out why she insisted on getting me more than one outfit but I guess that even then she was planning this meeting. The thing is that going to the mall with her was more than a little weird and I felt totally out of place... no one had ever taken me shopping like that before and I didn't have a clue as to what in the heck I was supposed to be doing. I look down at myself but I still refrain from saying anything. What can I say? We've played this game often enough for me to know that no matter what I say or do I just can't win. I know it won't end until she tires of it and I know it will go on for that much longer if I try to fight back, if I give her something to respond to, so I just sit back and I listen to her going on and on.

I had no real illusions concerning my mom's feeling towards me before today --not really-- but it still kind of hurts... of course, that's nothing compared to what happens when she gives up on trying to pick up a fight with me and starts on G.

When she starts ranting about how he only wants me so that he can take me to his bed I begin to suspect that she won't really have to sign those papers after all, seeing how it is almost painfully obvious that if she doesn't shut up --and fast-- I'm only seconds away from actually becoming an orphan. I mean, I knew there was a serious ass-kicker hidden under all that tweed but I've never seen G so close to losing it before, not even when he was under the influence of that candy and he was trying to get us to beat up Ethan.

Trying not to draw too much attention to myself I place my hand on his and I shake my head, hoping that he'll get my meaning. I knew from the very beginning that this wasn't going to be pretty, but I didn't quite expect it to get this bad this quickly. I'm struggling not to respond, I know I can't run the risk of making her madder... not if I want her to sign those damn papers, and now I also have to worry about trying to keep G calm. It's not easy and I just wish she'd get it over with --after all, it's not like she actually wants me-- but she's taking her sweet time and that's driving me nuts.

With every single word she says I can't help but fear that I'm going to do something, say something, that's going to cause her **_not_** to sign out of spite. I know I have to hold on for just a little bit longer. I know that if I can manage to pull it off by the time we walk out of this office she will no longer be my mother and I'll be free. Funny how I still don't really know how I feel about that one. I mean, I know it'd be kind of stupid to wish she wouldn't sign but I guess there is a part of me that is terminally stupid because even though I'm really glad this whole thing is finally going to be over with --even though I'm mostly relieved by the knowledge that I won't ever have to go back to her, no matter what-- I am also kind of sad. She's never been exactly nice to me, but she's my mom and I kind of know it wasn't supposed to be this way. I just wanted her to like me but I know now that that's never gonna happen.

I look toward G, all too aware that I'm not the only one who is about to lose it here as my mother keeps going on and on about what kind of monster they are taking into their lives... and oddly enough the fact that G is so pissed kind of makes the whole thing a little easier for me to take. I keep telling myself that it's almost over, that once we walk out of here she will be out of my life forever, but it's hard and I'm scared. I'm afraid that she may decide not to sign the papers and I'm terrified of what will happen if she does sign.

Once she signs those papers it will be all but official. G and Mrs. S will be my parents and that kind of freaks me out. Even though I've been living with Mrs. S for weeks now I've never really had a dad before and I'm not sure I know what to do with one... well, I kind of do but I'm pretty sure what I'm used to doing is not exactly what G has in mind and I can't help but fear that I'm going to screw this one up... both royally and literally.

In addition to that there's the fact that once this is over I will actually belong to Mrs. S and even though I'm kind of looking forward to it, it also kind of scares the crap out of me. I mean, I like her, I really do, but I don't know what to expect. I don't know how to be what she wants me to be and I **_really_** don't like being dependent on anyone but myself. Me, I know I can trust... the rest of the world is iffy at best.

I guess that's what it all boils down to. To the fact that my life is no longer my life and I really don't know how to handle it, I just know that I don't want to mess it up. It's like being here has made it all really clear.

On the one hand I have my mom, who's still going on and on about... well, basically she's ranting about pretty much everything she can think off, on the other hand there are G, B and Mrs. S who are all trying to hold their tongues and in a way I guess I kind of have to decide which path I want to follow now. When I put it like that, the decision is remarkably easy... at least on a rational level, but my mom's words still cut deep and there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm a slayer and I shouldn't be letting her get to me like this --after all, I face demons and vampires on a daily basis-- but I really can't help it. All my life I've just wanted my mom to like me, at least a little, but I know she never will.


	30. Chapter 30: Unbroken

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 30: Unbroken  
(Joyce's POV)

I'm sitting next to Rupert on the plane as we head back home to Sunnydale and the truth is that these past couple of days have been kind of a blur. It seems so strange to think of the man sitting next to me as my husband and of the girls sitting on the other side of the aisle as my daughters - daughters, with an 's', as in two, plural- and yet I can't say that I have any regrets, especially not after meeting Faith's mother. That woman gave me a lot to think about as I try to imagine what the first fourteen years of Faith's life were like. One thing is for sure though: I can understand now **_why_** she decided to run away... in fact if anything I am having a hard time trying to figure out how she managed to survive in such an environment for so long.

I know Rupert had tried to warn me, seeing how he had met Cristina before, but that doesn't mean that I was in any way prepared for what she was like. It was also more than a little eerie to see Faith and Cristina together. They look so much alike that seeing them made me all that more determined to make sure that my Faith won't end up as her mother did... the problem is that we have a lot of damage to repair and it is not going to be easy. Faith has been shaped by her past and that past will always be with her, that's something I've known from the moment I met her but catching a glimpse of that past made it seem all that more real to me.

The fact is that even though the consequences of the sexual abuse she was subjected to as a child are the ones that are most obvious when it comes to Faith's day to day behavior, I am beginning to suspect that the scars she carries from the emotional abuse she endured may well be the deepest ones. What we saw of Cristina's attitude in the few minutes we were with her in that office is what Faith spent her early years with and -as much as I may want to deny it- that is bound to leave its mark.

We may have decided to adopt Faith to keep her safe from the Council but it is obvious that she is going to need a lot more than that if she is going to survive. There is so much that girl has to learn and so much she has to unlearn. She is doing better than she was when she first arrived, that much is obvious, but the path she has ahead of her won't be an easy one. She is not -and probably will never be- a 'good girl' but she is far from the wild creature we first met. The problem is that while now that I've met her mother I can understand her a lot better than I used to, I am also having a harder time trying **_not_** to pity her. I know that's not what she needs and I know that's not what she wants but my heart is just not listening.

The thing is that while Faith was hurt by her mother and her mother's boyfriends I am the one who runs the risk of turning her into a victim now and that is the last thing she needs.

I knew some things about Faith's past, obviously, but that did nothing to lessen the shock of actually meeting her mother. The fact is that even though I knew what Rupert had told me and I had seen enough of Faith's behavior -and unfortunately overheard enough of some of her talks with Buffy- to get a general idea, at the same time it wasn't something that felt all that real to me. I could not imagine a mother hating her own child enough to say the words that came out of Cristina's mouth in that office, in front of strangers. That was probably the thing that shocked me the most.

For months now I've been regretting the words I said to Buffy before she went off to face Angelus, when I first discovered that she is a slayer. I'm not saying that I'm ready to forgive myself for what I did -far from it- but the truth is that hearing what Faith's mother had to say did give me an odd sense of perspective. Faith lived through hell and against all odds she managed to survive. She is not undamaged but she is unbroken and under the circumstances that is the most we could honestly have hoped for. The problem is that, as much as it pains me to admit it, I know she is not out of the woods just yet... in fact she may well be in more danger now than she has ever been before, and I'm not even thinking of the slayer thing.

She had a life that -while far from pleasant- she was familiar with, a life in which she knew what to expect, how to act and how to react. It wasn't a life that was going to get her anywhere, in fact it was a life that had her on the fast track to nowhere, but it was hers. The problem is that these past few weeks she has found herself being forced into a lifestyle she has no idea of how to handle, I can see that now... and even though things are **_better_** for her this way, it's still been a major adjustment for her, one I have no doubt she is still struggling with. There have been some signs of that, though she has done her best to try and fit in.

I think the most telling incident came when she pushed to get me to change the house rules. That was most definitely an unwelcomed reminder of everything she's lived through but maybe it shouldn't have come as much of a surprise. I may have a hard time trying to come to terms with Faith's overt sexuality but the truth is that -no matter how much I may wish I could- I can't change her past and that means that I have to come to terms with it, because in the end **_I_** am the one with a problem here... even if my problem is a socially acceptable one. Faith's past -and Buffy's- may bother me but I can't afford to taint Faith with my sense of shame or decency. **_That_** would be devastating for her.

I think that's why Rupert said that maybe I should yield to the rules change. It may not be the way in which we would like things to be but it is important for Faith to see that we accept her for who she is and not for who we would like her to be.

Even though I know that deep down Faith is a sweet girl -though she would most certainly object to being described as such- she is also a slayer and a former child-prostitute and there is no point in trying to deny that. Her view of the world has been shaped by experiences I can't even begin to comprehend, by a mother who hated her and an environment that was totally devoid of anything that could possibly be described as a safe place or a positive influence. That is the reality I have to face... whether I like it or not.

I still remember how Rupert said the librarian in Faith's old school had described her: as a quiet and shy girl who used to spend as much time as she possibly could in the library, not so much because she wanted to learn or better herself but rather because she just didn't want to have to go home.

At first I had a hard time trying to reconcile that description with the girl I had just met, but now it's starting to make sense. I've gotten to know her a little better since then and that description took on a whole new meaning after having had a chance to see Faith with her mother. I realize now that helping her turn her life around is going to be a daunting task but failure is not an option here. Faith deserves to have a chance, not a second chance but a first one, because the truth is that she never had one before, not really... and I know that, as much as it pains me, she may not even get that much.

That is the one thing Rupert and I rarely -if ever- dare to mention, even though we are both well aware of it: life expectancy for a slayer has a very different meaning than it does for the general population. It is true that up until recently my concern applied mostly to Buffy but that has changed. We have two daughters and we are both determined to do whatever it takes to keep them safe, that's what brought us to this point, that's what caused us to decide to get married in the first place.

The problem is that while it is true that both Buffy and Faith's chances are a lot better now that they are together, the fact remains that the odds are still stacked against them. In the end they are just two girls whose destiny is to fight thousands upon thousands of vampires and demons. Sure, they are not alone, they have each other and they have friends who are willing to fight and even die by their side, but they are still vastly outnumbered... and if Rupert's words and veiled warnings are anything to go by, then things are bound to get even worse when the very organization that was meant to support them is added to their already long list of dangerous enemies.

I know things are bad and they are likely to get even worse, I know they are in danger, I know that -because of who and what they are- they will **_always_** be in danger but that doesn't mean that I'm going to resign myself to the idea of losing them and it doesn't mean that I'm going to give them up without a fight. They are my daughters -daughters, with an 's', as in two, plural- and I know I wouldn't trade them for the world.


	31. Chapter 31: Fitting Together

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 31: Fitting Together Is Not As Easy As It Seems  
(Giles's POV)

I can hardly believe it but Joyce and I have been married for a full month now and the truth is that it's been harder than I could possibly have anticipated. It's not that we are not getting along, far from it, but family life is not something I'm used to... and neither is having to share a single bathroom with three women, two of whom don't ever knock. **_That_** has most definitely been a new experience... one I could gladly have died without.

I know that -while not exactly pleasant- that particular situation is only temporary but for the time being it is driving me crazy. Right now we are looking for a bigger place, though we are certainly not in too much of a hurry to find one, thanks to the fact that we have no choice but to try and maintain an almost impossible balancing act. On the one hand there is the INS, on the other there is the Council and we have to satisfy the former without revealing our hand to the latter. It hasn't been easy.

The thing is that two weeks after we got married Joyce and I had to go to an interview with an INS representative. It may have been just a formality but that did nothing to change the fact that it was far from a pleasant experience, luckily we got through it just fine. The explanation for our wedding did hold, the fact that the paperwork for Faith's adoption had already been filed was a major point on our behalf and the fact that Joyce and I do know each other fairly well was enough to enable us to answer most of their questions, though there were obviously some details that did raise quite a few eyebrows. The one aspect of our whole living arrangement that they found to be more than a little troubling was the one having to do with my **_decision_** to keep my old apartment for the time being, though luckily it was a question we had already foreseen.

Seeing how it was not exactly an unexpected concern we had gone to that meeting with a perfectly reasonable explanation at the ready. We told them that, due to some research projects I'm currently working on, I need to have easy access to some books and documents that are not available to me in a high school library and that, unfortunately, it is also impossible for me to fit those materials here in Joyce's house. It wasn't too difficult for us to point out that while this house had been more than adequate enough for Joyce and Buffy when they first moved to Sunnydale, the fact is that it is starting to feel a little crowded now that Faith and I are here too and that as a result of that particular situation I was keeping my old place as a sort of extension for the time being. In other words, we told them that I had made the decision to keep my old apartment in order to have access to my books while we search for a bigger place, one that can accommodate all of us more comfortably... and hopefully one that will have at least two bathrooms.

Of course that's not the only reason why I'm keeping my old apartment, in fact it's not even the main one. The real reason behind that decision has to do mostly with our current balancing act. Simply put, the Council hasn't been informed of my change of residence or status and that means that there's no way I could possibly give up my old place prior to Buffy's Cruciamentum... but there was no need to share that particular bit of information with the INS.

As for Faith's adoption, things on that front seem to be moving along nicely and we are less than a week away from having the final papers issued. Luckily Cristina is even more eager than we are to have that particular business settled as soon as humanly possible so -in spite of the nightmare that was our meeting with her- she has been extremely helpful in that regard.

In terms of how Buffy and Faith are coping with everything that's been going on around them, I have to say that they are both doing remarkably well. At times I can barely believe that it's been less than two months since Faith first came into our lives, so much has changed since then, and she is doing fine. In fact she's doing much better than I could have dared to hope for.

She's already gotten settled into the routine of going to school each day, she is starting to relax more around us and she no longer seems to be worried about the possibility of being kicked out of the house if she messes up. True, that means she's grumbling about having too much homework and it also means that her room is starting to look more and more like an obstacle course -much to Joyce's dismay- but at least she's unpacked her bags and she has enough clothes to her name to actually **_make_** a mess in the first place. In fact over all I would say that the mess is a good indicator when it comes to the fact that she is starting to feel comfortable with the idea of just being herself, even when Joyce and I are around.

As for Buffy, things are slowly getting better for her too, though the changes are nowhere near as obvious as they've been in Faith's case... but then again there wasn't so much for Buffy to change in the first place. Things in school will probably never be entirely **_normal_** for her either, we all know that. There are all kinds of rumors circulating concerning the time she was missing and that -combined with the rumors that were circulating before she came back, the ones having to do with Kendra's death, or even with Ted's- have served to make her something of a social outcast, especially among some of the girls, but that's not exactly a surprise. Harmony and company will probably never change and they have been especially vicious lately... luckily Buffy is coping fairly well with their attitudes and the fact that her true friends have been very vocal in her defense has served not only to reassure her but also to mend some of the fences that were damaged by their initial reactions to her return.

It is true that the easy camaraderie they once shared hasn't been entirely restored and it is true that things will probably never be the same, but things are slowly getting better between them and at least they are no longer walking on eggshells around each other. I know Buffy does miss her friends and the way things used to be -especially with Willow- but she was right when she said that right now their perspectives and priorities are just too different for things to go back to the way they were before Buffy ran away... before she was forced to rearrange her whole perception of the world around her.

It may pain us all to admit it but -no matter how much we may wish it were otherwise- the fact remains that Willow is not ready to understand what Buffy's been through, not yet, though hopefully that will change once she goes off to college and is confronted with a less sheltered view of reality... and yes, I am well aware of the irony of describing the life led by a girl who was born on top of a hellmouth as 'sheltered'. Of course, I am also aware of the fact that chances are Willow will choose to go to college away from Sunnydale and I know that is likely to put an end to what used to be a beautiful friendship but there is nothing I can do in that regard.

The truth is that I just don't know what is going to happen once Buffy and Willow graduate from high school. I'm torn between wanting what would be best for Buffy and what would be best for Willow. The thing is that college for both of them is still several months away, though I can't deny the fact that I'm incredibly proud of Buffy's SAT scores. She even outdid Willow, though I am aware that that was at least partly due to the fact that Willow's insecurities came back to haunt her in the oral portion of the test. In other words things are going better than I would have anticipated in more ways than one but that is **_not_** the whole picture.

Even though both Joyce and I are happy with the way things are going with regards to the girls and school, they are not our only concern and the fact that they are doing great doesn't mean that we haven't run into other problems. The fact is that we are married and that means that we also have to deal with our relationship to each other and **_that_** is one minefield I'm not sure I can survive.

The thing is that when we got married we did it knowing that it was something we were doing for the girls but we never really took the time to think what it would mean for the two of us and that has left us feeling more than a little awkward... a lot more than a little, to be accurate.

Our main problem has to do with our sleeping arrangements... in fact our sleeping arrangements are basically what's keeping us up at night. That was something we hadn't really given much thought to before we got married but the fact is that sharing a bed with Joyce for this past month hasn't exactly been a relaxing experience. We are both moody and tired... and getting the eye roll treatment from the girls on a daily basis due to our inability to 'just get it over with'. In fact it's so bad that Faith is even threatening to provide us with a manual... a fully illustrated one with 'insert A into B' type of instructions. I really don't want to know what that girl could come up with if she were to set her mind to it.

The fact is that -whether we like it or not- we are having to deal with a situation that for some reason is not usually described in etiquette handbooks... though maybe it should be. I know I for one would really appreciate having some sort of guidelines.

In a way the candy made things a lot easier for us, it enabled us to get past our inhibitions and that is something we could really use right now. I know we are both adults, I know we should be able to share a bed without it becoming such a big deal, but things are not working that way.

We are married but at the same time we are just starting to date and trying to merge both relationships has proven to be more than a little tricky. It is ridiculous. If ours were an entirely sham marriage, then this whole situation wouldn't really be a problem and neither would it be an issue if ours were a proper marriage, but right now we are stranded in the middle of nowhere and we have no clue as to what to do.

I don't claim to have all the answers, far from it... but my problem is that usually when I don't know something I can research it in hopes of finding a solution. For most of my life I've been able to trust my books in times of crisis only this time around they have no answers for me and I find myself at a loss for what to do. One thing is certain though, whether I like it or not, the fact is that fitting together is not as easy as it seems.


	32. Chapter 32: Marked for Death

**_For notes warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 32: Marked for Death  
(Giles's POV)

I'm staring at the thing almost as if it were some sort of poisonous animal... which, come to think of it, in a way it kind of is. I got the delivery late last night, it wasn't unexpected but it was still an unpleasant reminder of what I'm about to have to do. I've known this day would come for a very long time and I've literally been counting down the days for months but that doesn't mean I'm ready... far from it.

In these past few months I've grown closer to my girls and to Joyce than I ever thought possible but now I am being put in a position of having to betray one of them to keep them safe. I hope Buffy will understand, I hope she will be able to forgive me someday but I fear that the damage I'm about to inflict on our relationship will never really heal.

I've been ordered to start the injections, I've been notified of the details of her Cruciamentum and the whole thing fills me with dread, especially because it is clear that Travers doesn't want her to live. Ever since Buffy's return I've had a sense of imminency with regards to this test and as a result I've spent countless hours studying the few Cruciamentums that have been carried out in the past couple of centuries. There haven't been many, but even with as few examples as I've been able to investigate, a rather disturbing pattern has emerged.

The first thing I noticed is that the slayers who have lived to see their eighteenth birthday have been few and far between... even more so than I had originally expected them to be. I mean, I've known all along that slayers' lives are unusually short and brutal but I had never fully realized that there have been over three hundred slayers called in the last two hundred years alone and of those only seven have made it to their eighteenth birthday. The thing is that even among those who have lived that 'long' there have been some noticeable differences.

In all I've read the details concerning seven tests and five of those dealt with slayers who were basically described as trouble by the Council's standards, slayers who were in the habit of thinking by themselves and refused to bend to the Council's every whim. That is remarkable, especially considering that it means that out of seven slayers who lived to see their eighteenth birthday only two were good little puppets and that only serves to make the outcomes of those Cruciamentums even more dramatic.

Of seven slayers tested only three actually managed to survive... and of those who did survive there was just one in the group of those who were deemed to be **_too independent_** by the Council.

At first I tried to convince myself that it was just a coincidence but seeing how I wasn't willing to bet Buffy's life on my wishful thinking I decided to take a closer look at the old journals and I am now convinced that the results of those tests were anything but a coincidence. Upon closer scrutiny I found an explanation for those different success rates among both groups and it was an explanation that was deeply disturbing: of those seven slayers five were forced to face master vampires while the other two were locked up with newly risen fledges.

The thing is that of the ones who were forced to fight master vampires only one -Nikki Wood, a New York slayer in the seventies who had a rather unusual history and was eventually killed by Spike- managed to survive. From what I've read about her a couple of facts do stand out. The first thing that caught my attention was the fact that she was called unusually late, when she was seventeen, but that was not what made her situation so special, what made her so unique. The most remarkable thing about Nikki Wood was that she was the first slayer in well over a hundred years to have a child of her own by the time she was called. In the old days, when it was not uncommon for women to get married when they were fifteen years old or so, slayers with children were rare but not unheard of, however in the past hundred years that situation has changed dramatically. The point is that I suspect that the fact that she actually had a child may have been the determining issue of just why Nikki managed to survive in spite of the Council: unlike most other slayers she had a very good reason **_not_** to give up.

The thing is that Nikki Wood was the only slayer to survive the Cruciamentum against the Council's wishes... and now Buffy will be expected to go against Kralik, a dangerous and deranged vampire that is well over one hundred years old. I guess I should be flattered that the Council has her in such high regard but I'm not. Even if she were going in at full power it would not be an easy fight and sending her in there defenseless is inconceivable... luckily she won't be alone.

Under normal circumstances it would be a confrontation that would be unlikely to end favorably for the slayer, the odds would be stacked too heavily against her, but this time around Travers made one mistake, just as I had hoped he would: he forgot that these are not normal circumstances. He ordered me to start the injections and he ordered me not to help her, to let Buffy go on with her normal slaying routine even when the serum's effects make themselves known... and I intend to do just that.

I will encourage Buffy to keep up her normal routine but what Travers failed to take into account is that Buffy is not the only slayer so she rarely, if ever, patrols alone... in fact I **_couldn't_** order her to go out alone without making her suspicious, especially if she's not feeling well. As the time comes for Buffy to face Kralik, Faith will be watching her back, just like she has been doing ever since she arrived here in Sunnydale.

There is nothing I can do to prevent the Cruciamentum from taking place, I know that much. The Council is ruled by tradition and that tradition dictates that a slayer who reaches her eighteenth birthday must perform in that damned test and there's no precedent for a Watcher refusing to administer the test... luckily there is no precedent for the presence of a second slayer during a Cruciamentum either so, seeing how I haven't been told to keep Faith away, there is no protocol that keeps her from interfering. She is a slayer and by helping Buffy she would only be doing her duty, after all, Kralik is a vampire and Faith is a vampire slayer, getting rid of him is as much her duty as it is Buffy's.

The problem is that I fear the Cruciamentum will only be the first step in a rather long battle we are going to have no choice but to wage against the Council. Over the past few months I've grown disillusioned with the organization I've served most of my adult life and I will no longer bend to their will and I know neither will Buffy and Faith, but I don't see them relinquishing control over the girls willingly either and I know that if they can't control us they'll almost certainly try to destroy us. That's what this Cruciamentum is about, that's what it's **_always_** been about. Going by the records of the last seven tests, the Cruciamentum is nothing but a thinly disguised mechanism for them to get rid of those successful slayers they can't control, for them to trigger the calling of a new, more malleable girl... and if the new girl is not more malleable than her predecessor, well, it doesn't really matter because, after all, slayers don't live long.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Author's note: okay, lame chapter, I know, but I did need a fast forward and this seemed to do the trick.


	33. Chapter 33: Before the Show

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 33: Before the Show  
(Giles's POV)

Travers will be arriving tomorrow with Kralik and that means that the charade is about to go into full swing. It's strange to be back in my old place but for the next couple of days we'll have to be very careful. Joyce and the girls know something is going on, of course, and I can tell that they are all more than a little curious but right now I don't dare answer any of their questions. There's too much at stake and the less they know, the less likely they are to say or do something that could possibly make matters worse... something that could possibly let Travers know that I'm no longer the puppet he believes me to be.

I know I can trust them, all three of them, that is not the issue but the problem is that I also know how Travers thinks better than they do. He is a suspicious bastard who always has a hidden agenda on top of a hidden agenda and the truth is that as much as I trust my girls the fact remains that they are just girls. Vampires and demons they can handle but I fear they would be totally out of their depth if I were to try and bring them into the power games that are part of life when it comes to the highest levels of the Council's structure. What we have here is nothing less than a struggle for control over the slayer line and under the circumstances I can't afford even the smallest mistake.

That means I have to make absolutely sure they and Buffy in particularstay perfectly in character through the whole thing and the only way I have to make sure that they act as they are supposed to is if they know as little as possible about what is going on. Their best defense is just to be themselves and that means that the only thing I've really told them is that, to keep the Council from having me replaced as their watcher, I've been forced to conceal the fact that I'm married to Joyce and that we are Faith's legal parents. I know it is a dangerous game for us to play but the thing is that the safest thing for them is to keep acting as themselves for the time being... and the best way to ensure that is **_not_** to tell them what is going on.

I don't like it but the stakes are too high for me to take a chance and the fact remains that while Buffy is a lovely girl, with plenty of great qualities, she is most definitely not a good liar.

Of course, Buffy is only one of my concerns, true, she is the most immediate one seeing how she is the one who is going to come under Travers's direct scrutiny but I don't want to take a chance on either Joyce or Faith making a mistake either. In fact what began as a simple stratagem intended to keep Faith safe when Buffy decided to try and set me up with her mother has grown into a fairly convoluted series of measures and countermeasures that would make Travers proud if he weren't the intended target... the only problem is that I still don't have a clue as to what the final outcome of all of this will be and I can't deny the fact that I'm deeply worried for all our sakes.

The thing is that Joyce has known ever since I proposed that there was going to be some rather unpleasant Council business that we would have to deal with around the time of Buffy's birthday but that is the only thing she knows. Luckily she trusts me and she is not exactly a big fan of the Council herself so she has been more than happy to go along with me. That has been a blessing and it's also been the one defining element that has made everything else possible. It's what enabled me to set my own plan into motion, it is what has made it possible for me to make the necessary arrangements to keep the girls safe. Without Joyce's cooperation we would really have been at Travers's mercy... and the fact is that he didn't get to head the Council by being a nice guy. He is both incredibly ruthless and incredibly powerful. The Council has been around for literally thousands of years and even though few know of its existence it has resources I seriously doubt Joyce and the girls can even begin to comprehend... and I am well aware of the fact that keeping the girls safe from those **_resources_** won't be easy.

I know Joyce doesn't like being kept in the dark about what is going on but so far she has respected the fact that even now I don't feel comfortable betraying my oaths, though I must admit that's only part of my problem. It is true that I no longer believe in the institution I am supposed to serve and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep it from hurting my girls, up to and including openly betraying those oaths if it becomes necessary, but so far it hasn't really come to that. Of course, in a way dealing with Joyce is the easy part... the girls know even less about what is going on and that is likely to turn out to be both a blessing and a curse in the next few days, especially because I suspect some ghosts from their pasts are going to come back to haunt them... and that is one aspect I know I should probably have paid more attention to back in the beginning, though it is too late for me to worry about that now.

The thing is that there are a few aspects that are likely to come into play over the next few days, perhaps too many aspects, and some of them have more to do with Buffy and Faith as girls than with Buffy and Faith as slayers. I've tried to organize things in my mind and the truth is that this whole **_mess_** has grown to be far more complicated than I ever expected it to be but still I have no regrets. The problem is that not only do I have to make sure that Buffy and Faith are safe from the Council, I also have to make sure I won't hurt them in my attempt to keep them safe in the first place and that is likely to be more difficult than I could possibly have anticipated.

I freely admit that part of that problem can be traced back to a mistake I made back when I was trying to come up with the first stages of my plan, though perhaps calling it a mistake is a bit much, seeing how it was truly unavoidable. Whatever I call it, the fact is that back in the beginning I made one key decision that right now is in danger of backfiring: I decided to keep the girls in the dark over the reasons behind the decision to adopt Faith.

The problem with that is that while Faith may be doing better right now I fear that saying anything that could possibly lead her to believe that we only adopted her to keep her safe from the Council will be a devastating blow for her. It was true that that was one of our primary reasons but it was not the only one and it has taken us this long to get her to truly believe that we do want **_her_**. That is one thing that has become increasingly apparent as she has allowed us to get past her defenses. Faith is both incredibly strong and incredibly fragile and while it is true that she will find out the whole truth soon enough, to tell her a partial truth right now would not be a good idea. I am confident that she will understand once I can tell her the whole story though I know she will be more than a little angrybut I still fear that even if she forgives me, that revelation may cost us at least some of the progress we've made so far.

The thing is that right now I'm lying on all sides. I'm lying to the Council and I'm lying to the girls when I tell them that the reason why I've moved back to my place has to do with the fact that I'm packing for when we finally move into the new house next week. To make matters worse, even though Joyce knows the real reason why I moved back is 'some sort of Council business', I haven't been able to tell the girls even that much and they are resenting the temporary separation... especially Buffy who I suspect is being painfully reminded of what happened before her parents' divorce. She hasn't said anything about that, not openly, but she has told me about a dozen times that she doesn't want me to leave her... and on top of that she is dealing with the effects of the Cruciamentum serum in her system.

The thing is that each time Buffy tells me that she's feeling weak, each time she asks me to look into the cause of her ailment I find myself hard pressed to keep myself from telling her everything. The guilt is killing me. I hate doing this to her and yet I know it cannot be helped, not really. I wish I could spare her, but with the way things have played themselves out I felt it would be safer to wait until after the test to make my move. For months now I've been quietly setting things in motion to protect Buffy and Faith, even if right now hurting Buffy to a degree is the lesser of two evils.

The good news is that it is almost over, that once Buffy's Cruciamentum is behind us I'll finally be able to come clean to her and then there will be no more need for secrets between us... and the fact remains that, for all his scheming nature, Travers is so blinded by tradition that working around him has been surprisingly easy.

The pompous fool is so full of himself that he has totally forgotten the fact that there are actually two slayers. He is so used to thinking of the Chosen One, that not once has he even considered the implications of there being a Chosen Two. It's not just that he hasn't told me to keep Faith away from Buffy's Cruciamentum, it's that he hasn't even considered that once Buffy undergoes the test there will be no way for him to catch Faith unawares on her eighteenth birthday... not that **_that_** is going to be much of an issue if I can have my way.

We have a window of opportunity here and I intend to take full advantage of it.


	34. Chapter 34: A Father's Betrayal

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 34: A Father's Betrayal  
(Giles's POV)

Joyce called me to tell me what happened and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it... or maybe I do know, after all those feelings don't come as much of a surprise. I know I am disgusted, angry and hurt for Buffy's sake. It's her eighteenth birthday and it's supposed to be special, unfortunately her own father seems to have other priorities.

Even though I've only met the man once, the truth is that I still can't believe that Hank stood Buffy up, not today of all days. Things haven't been great between father and daughter, in fact it's been over a year since they've seen each other but apparently they used to have a sort of tradition in which he took her to an ice show for her birthday each year... or at least that's how Buffy tells it, though I suspect it wasn't as regular an occurrence as she would have liked it to be. I've known Buffy for almost two years now and I do know that that's not how it went last year.

I wonder what would have happened if Buffy had gone with her father for her seventeenth birthday, if she hadn't been here for her birthday party, if we hadn't discovered that Spike and Drusilla were attempting to reassemble the Judge, if she hadn't gone after them with Angel, if she hadn't...

It's one of those questions I'll never be able to answer. If she hadn't been here for her seventeenth birthday would the Judge have brought about the end of the world or would we have been sparred a world of hurt? The thing is that now that's all in the realm of the what ifs, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that if last year was anything to go by, then this is not the first time that Hank has stood his daughter up on her birthday, though if I have anything to say about it, it will most definitely be the last.

The oddest thing is that, while I am rather upset on Buffy's behalf, there is also a part of me that is actually relieved by the fact that they won't be getting together, though I would definitely have preferred it if he hadn't asked her to spend that time with him in the first place. I'm not sure where the certainty comes from, but the truth is that there is a part of me that keeps telling me that as painful as her father's betrayal is for her right now it will actually spare her some heartache in the long run simply because there's no way Hank Summers is ready to understand the changes in his daughter... of course, Buffy is very good at hiding those changes and somehow I don't think he'd be all that observant, not when it comes to something as **_trivial_** and **_unimportant_** as his own daughter.

The thing is that even though I'm not sure I understand it myself, I do know that there are a lot of things I still know nothing about concerning Buffy's experiences in LA. I know what happened, of course, but I'm not naive enough to believe that I'm aware of everything she went through. There are quite a few things that, while they still remain unmentioned, are painfully obvious... and I'm fairly certain that some of those have to do with the way in which she perceives her own father.

I don't know what happened while she was in LA, not really, at least not that particular aspect of it but I do know something happened. She's never mentioned it and I've been reluctant to push the issue as there always seemed to be other things that were far more urgent but that doesn't mean that I'm unaware of the results. Those are all too obvious.

When I first met her, Buffy used to idolize her father but now there is a sense of anger there, one I'm not really sure I understand and one I'm not sure she is willing to acknowledge not even to herselfbut the truth is that it was enough to make me nervous about the upcoming encounter between them. Of course I knew better than to try and say anything about it. I know she has a temper, I know she is incredibly stressed over what's been happening to her lately and even though the fact that her strength was not an issue this time around did provide me with a measure of comfort in that particular regardthat stress was enough for me to worry about how she would have reacted to her father should he have said or done the wrong thing... something I feared was all but unavoidable under the circumstances.

The point is that while I'm relieved by the knowledge that there **_won't_** be a meeting between Buffy and Hank, I am all too aware that this whole fiasco could certainly have been handled better, but it wasn't and now we are left with no choice but to deal with the fallout. Yes, the fact that Hank decided to cancel at the last minute, that he didn't even have the courage to call and tell her himself but rather chose the coward's way out, that he merely sent her a note and some flowers angers me deeply but I'm not troubled by his absence.

Buffy is turning eighteen and that marks the end of Hank's legal obligation to his daughter. I don't know why I had hoped that things between them would go down differently this time around. Maybe it was due to the fact that I had the feeling that this was going to be the last chance he was going to have to try and maintain some sort of connection with his daughter, one that would maybe let Buffy know that she hadn't been totally abandoned but that is clearly not going to happen. Even though I'm not exactly a fan of Hank Summers I had wanted Buffy to be able to hold on to that relationship as she becomes an adult. It wasn't something I wanted for myself, it was something I wanted for her, something I had hoped would provide her a small measure of comfort and a sense of support but it obviously wasn't meant to be... and the truth is that I'm no longer even sure whether Buffy really wanted it to happen in the first place. She is still extremely confused about a number of issues and I fear that this incident is only going to add to her confusion.

The thing is that ever since I can remember Hank's been a giant shadow hanging over Buffy, though I must admit that in a really strange twist it was a shadow that seemed to have lifted somewhat in recent months when she welcomed the idea of Joyce and I getting together. That was a major change, one that caught me totally off guard, one I'm incredibly grateful for, but still Hank is her father... or he was.

For Hank Summers his daughter was nothing more than an obligation, an unwelcomed reminder of his past and his failed marriage, and he has obviously chosen **_not_** to have a relationship with her. For him she was a **_legal_** responsibility, a burden from which he has now been released and that means that from this day forward I am her **_only_** father, not because I have to be but because I want to be. When I married Joyce we adopted Faith but I never took any legal steps to formalize my relation with Buffy, we didn't have to. Yes, in the eyes of the law she will always be Hank Summers's daughter but that doesn't really matter, it doesn't really mean anything.

Her father may have turned his back on her but I don't intend to do so. I know her and I'm proud of her. She is everything I wished she would be... she's **_more_** than I ever expected her to be. I remember a couple of years ago when she first walked into my library. Back then I didn't know what to make of her. She was not what I was expecting, she was not what the Council had trained me to deal with and I was completely lost. She forced me to think for myself, to work with her in her own terms and that was probably her greatest achievement, the one that brought us to this point.

Since I met her she's gone from being my slayer to being my daughter and in an oddly fitting way her birthday will signal that transition. She may be disappointed by the fact that Hank was a no-show but as much as that angers me it is also a source of relief.

Of course, I know getting angry at Hank also gives me a neat excuse not to get angry at myself. We are both betraying her, she was counting on him to take her to that ice show... she is still counting on me to do my best to keep her safe.

o-o-o-o

Author's note: sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out, real life got in the way.


	35. Chapter 35: Moving Forward Back

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 35: Moving Forward Back  
(Giles's POV)

If I was feeling guilty before about putting her through the Cruciamentum, it has suddenly gotten worse. Buffy is all but begging me to take her to the ice show now that Hank has cancelled and that has brought my betrayal a lot closer to home. I'm trying to get her to concentrate, to focus on the crystals, on anything but what's going on around her but it's not really working, not this time around.

I know what I have to do, it's not like I have much of a choice, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. After a couple of minutes the crystal finally does what it's supposed to do and trying to push my feelings aside I inject her with the serum. I never fully realized how difficult putting her through this was going to be, but now it's almost over. That's what I keep telling myself, those are the words I keep repeating almost like a mantra but somehow they are not doing their job... probably because I know this is not the end, it's just the beginning.

* * *

A few hours later Buffy comes rushing back, utterly terrified because Cordelia of all people rescued her from a confrontation with one of the boys in the... well I don't know the what. Buffy would say he was a member of the football team, but I have a few choice words to say about that. She is so upset that for once I decide to avoid getting into an argument over the name of that blasted bastardized form of rugby she insists on calling football and I settle for trying to offer her some comfort, for telling her that it's going to be fine, that she will soon be back to being herself and that we will get to the bottom of this. I hate having to lie to her, I hate having to cause her this pain but with Travers in town I know better than to take any chances.

I'm going to try to appeal the test one last time, it's the only thing I can do. I just can't go on like this but at the same time I know I don't have a choice, not really. The thing is that that appeal is my last ditch attempt to put an end to this... and not just for Buffy's sake. It is a twisted game we are playing, I can't help but notice that. The Council is testing Buffy and at the same time I am testing the Council, their humanity, and so far I've found them lacking in that regard... not that that has been a particularly surprising revelation.

The Cruciamentum is one of the unquestionable traditions the Council abides by and the more I think about it, the more obvious it becomes that it is nothing but a symptom of how they put themselves above the fight they are sworn to fight... above the slayer they are supposed to serve. The Council has remained unchanged and unchallenged for far too long. For too many centuries there has been no one there in a position to challenge them and that has led to the perversion of the fight against the forces of darkness... a perversion that must be stopped somehow.

The thing is that I have a meeting with Travers after school hours. I'm not particularly hopeful but I still have a part to play... and a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, a direct confrontation can be avoided.

For the time being though Buffy is my top priority and I ask Faith to stay particularly close to her, warning her that Buffy is not feeling well and that she has to be particularly careful because for the time being Buffy is in no shape to back her up.

I can see that she is confused, nothing like this has ever happened before obviouslyand she is not entirely sure of what to do or how to handle it. That is an unexpected obstacle. I had never realized that while Faith is an incredibly effective slayer, she is more than a little insecure when it comes to being **_the_** slayer. In a way it is a situation I should have anticipated. Shortly after she was called she saw her watcher being tortured and killed before her eyes and after that she came to Sunnydale where she took on the role of Buffy's partner and backup. Unfortunately the fact that for so long she has taken on the role of Buffy's backup means that she is not particularly comfortable with taking the lead and that is what she's going to have to do now.

* * *

My meeting with Travers goes about as well as I had expected it to. It takes all of my self-control not to beat him to a bloody pulp but somehow I manage to pull it off, to keep him from seeing how much I despise him. I'm just arriving back to the familiar sanctuary of the library when Buffy comes in once more, demanding answers and I can see that the current situation is having a far greater impact on her than I could possibly have anticipated.

For years now I've seen her fighting to escape her destiny with everything she has only now she suddenly seems to be terrified at the thought of having that destiny taken from her. For years she's been craving a chance to just go back to being a normal girl only now that her wish has been granted, even if I know it's only temporarily, she is not coping well. Well, maybe some good will come out of this in the end. I hate putting her through this and yet I can't help but think that maybe, with a little luck, this incident will serve to finally help her come to terms with her own destiny. That is one difference between Buffy and Faith.

From the very beginning Faith has embraced her destiny as a slayer but Buffy has always seen it almost as a curse... which in a way it probably is.

Well, it's getting late and I must meet Travers again. The time has come and within a couple of hours it will hopefully be over. Buffy and Faith are ready and there's nothing left for me to do but wait.

* * *

As I walk into the abandoned boarding house where the test is to take place I immediately realize that something is not right and the blood on the banister only confirms what my instincts are telling me. Kralik has managed to break free and the whole situation is now more desperate than any of us could possibly have anticipated.

As I get into my car my only thought is to find my slayers and figure out a way to put an end to this.

I'm driving down the street when I run into a desperate looking Buffy. I can't believe she is out, she says she needed time to think about everything that's been happening to her lately, something I immediately identify as a euphemism to refer to her sudden weakness. I can believe she took such a stupid chance and I can barely keep myself from shaking her... hard. I know she's used to being out alone at night, I know she finds it soothing. By nature a slayer is a nocturnal creature but right now she's not herself and she really should have had more sense than to take such an idiotic risk.

I drive her back to the library... knowing better than to take her home, seeing how no one is supposed to know of my connection with Joyce, not yet, and once we reach the library I call Faith and ask her to join us. I know the time has come for me to come clean, to tell the girls what's been going on and I know they won't be happy about it... and, for an entirely different reason, neither will Travers but that doesn't matter. Kralik is free, he is on the loose somewhere out in Sunnydale and I can't afford to keep up the charade any longer.

* * *

I can see how upset Buffy really is as we wait for Faith to join us. Even when she was on her own living in LA she knew she was safe... at least up to a point. Even then, no matter how desperate her situation was, she knew that no matter what happened she could always rely on her strength. Sure, being a slayer did nothing to keep her from being blackmailed but even then she knew she had a plan B, something that would keep things from ever getting too out of hand, only now that security blanket, the one that enabled her to endure all that in the first place, has been taken from her and she is not sure of how to cope... and now the time has come for me to admit to my role on that. I wonder if she'll ever forgive me, if I'll ever be able to explain. I hope so, but I know that even on a best case scenario it will take a while for her to come to terms with my betrayal.

I'm brought out of my reverie by Faith storming into the library.

I look at my girls and with a deep sigh I confess. I tell them everything, of my betrayal and Kralik's escape and when I'm done I'm taken aback by the hatred I can see in Buffy's eyes as Faith gently places and arm around her shoulders and leads her sister home.


	36. Chapter 36: Family Portrait

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 36: Family Portrait  
(Buffy's POV)

All I can think of as we make our way back home is 'how could he do this to me?' I trusted Giles but he poisoned me, he weakened me, he took away... never mind. Now is **_so _**not the time for this. I knew there was something weird going on, I knew something wasn't quite right from the moment he moved out a few days ago but I never expected something like this. At first I thought he had had a fight with mom but now I'm not so sure. There were some details that didn't quite add up, details that have never added up, like why he asked us to keep the fact that he and mom had gotten married a secret, but now it's all starting to make sense.

He knew what he was going to do to me, he knew about it all along and he didn't say anything. The thing is that now that this has happened I can't keep myself from wondering if my mom knew, if she went along with him. If there was no fight he must have given her a reason for moving out. Did she know what he was going to do to me? Did she willingly go along with him? I believe so, I don't want to believe it but I can't get the idea out of my mind. I need to find my mom, I need to talk to her... I need to know because right now I don't understand, I don't understand any of this.

I thought I could trust Giles, I thought he would never betray me.

When I came back he was there for me even when mom wasn't. I don't want to hate Giles but I can't forgive him, not for what he did to me. He betrayed me and I can't stop thinking about it. I trusted him and now...

I can feel that Faith is with me and I can tell she's worried but there's nothing I can do about that right now, it's all just too much. To make matters worse the first thing I see as soon as I walk in the kitchen is that stupid flower arrangement my father sent me. A stupid reminder of just how stupid I was to believe that he was actually going to be here for me.

I really should have known better than that. The creep didn't want me even before the divorce, why should that have changed now? I look at the flowers for a moment. I can tell that the arrangement is an expensive one, one that is supposed to be pretty but to me it seems incredibly ugly as it sits there, mocking me. I can't take it any more and with one sweep I toss it in the garbage where it belongs... and then I realize that there is something wrong here, something that's incredibly wrong and goes a lot deeper than Giles's betrayal. The front door is open and here in Sunnydale, especially after sunset, that is most definitely **_not_** a good sign.

I call for my mom but , just as I expected, there is no answer. Dreading what we are going to find, Faith and I approach that door. That's when we notice that there is something there, something that doesn't belong, something that is so deceptively ordinary. I pick it up with a feeling of dread, knowing that whatever it is, it's not likely to be a good thing but nothing could possibly have prepared me for the terror in my mother's eyes as she is being held by Kralik and a challenge, just one word: "COME".

I wonder how he got her. I know it's a stupid question, I know it doesn't really matter, I know the only thing that matters right now is getting her back but I can't keep myself from wondering. Last year something like this was my greatest fear. I was all too aware of the fact that my mom didn't know what went bump in the night, that she didn't know better than to open the door or invite a stranger in but I thought I had finally managed to get the safety rules through her head... apparently not.

The good news is that at least I know who has her and, more importantly, I know **_where_** he is. I rush toward my room with Faith right beside me. I know I can't leave my mother in his hands but I don't know what I'm going to do. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't even be all that worried, it would be just another vampire in need of a serious dusting, trying to use my family against me but this time around it's different. I'm weak and that means I can't just go in there and beat him to a pulp no matter how much I want to.

For a moment I consider the possibility of calling Giles. That is still my first instinct in spite of everything that's happened, in spite of what he did to me, but I can't bring myself to do it. Yes, my mom may be his wife but all of this is his fault. If he hadn't...

As I start shoving as many weapons as I possibly can into my weapons bag I feel a hand on my shoulder and when I turn around I see Faith, who is looking about as worried as I am. True, she still has her strength but that doesn't mean she's any less scared. I know her well enough by now to know that she doesn't let people in easily but when she does she is terrified of losing them... and I also know exactly what she saw another vampire do to her first watcher. I know this can't be easy for her, just as it is anything but easy for me, but the good news is that we are in this together... and with a little luck Kralik doesn't know that just yet.

He was brought here to fight **_the_** slayer and he is probably not expecting to be confronted with an 's'... funny how much difference one tiny little letter can make, how it changes the odds. That may give us a bit of an edge, even though I'm feeling incredibly weak. In fact I know that under the circumstances the most logical thing would be for me to step back and let Faith handle it, after all she is at full power and I'm not, but I can't do it. Not when he has my mother.

I know I can trust Faith, I know she is my sister and that means that my mom is her mom, even though at times it is still a little weird to think of it in those terms, especially because she doesn't use the m-word... not that I blame her. I guess after meeting Cristina I can understand why for her the m-word is a four letter word with one letter missing. The thing is that I know Faith is as afraid of mom getting hurt as I am... as Giles should have been.

I still can't believe he did that to me. I trusted him and he stabbed me in the back. These past few months I had believed that I finally had the family I had always wanted. I was happy, I had my mom, a sister and a dad who actually cared for me, who was there for me when I needed him... now that's a laugh. I shake my head, trying to get myself to stop thinking about it, at least for the time being. Yes, Giles screwed me over, big time, but right now I have other priorities, like getting to my mother, like getting her out of the mess she's in. I can always worry about Giles later.

When I'm done packing my bag I realize that it is almost too heavy for me to carry and that is another shock. It is true that it is stuffed with more weapons than I usually carry but I hate the fact that I am being confronted with yet another reminder of just how weak, how helpless, I am.

I don't want to leave my weapons behind, I don't know what's going to happen or what am I going to need to bring Kralik down, especially now, but I've also been doing this long enough to know that if it impedes my movements any weapon is a liability rather than an asset... and I also know that while bringing the appropriate gear into battle is critical the fact remains that any weapon you bring into the battlefield is one more weapon your enemy might take from you, one more weapon your enemy can turn against you.

I feel Faith's coming up to stand behind me and then she is there, helping me unpack my weapons, helping me to choose the ones I am most likely to need, narrowing things down to a couple of stakes, some crosses and holy water... items that, for the most part, can be used against a vampire but can't really be turned against a human. I wanted to take my crossbow but then I realized that it is just too dangerous. He could take it away from me and with the way my aim's been acting up that is not a risk I can afford to take so I reluctantly hand it over to Faith... and then, without a word, we walk out of the house.


	37. Chapter 37: Of Brain and brawn

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 37: Of Brain and Brawn  
(Buffy's POV)

Even with Faith right behind me I am terrified as I make it to the boarding house in which my mother is being held. The place seems to have been taken straight out of a cheesy B-movie and I can't help but wonder how cliched the Council can get... of course I know I'm just trying to keep myself from thinking about what's going on behind door number one, about what I may find as soon as I step across that threshold.

I'm hoping that my mom will be fine, I'm hoping that we will be in time... with a little luck we will, with a little luck he will have kept her alive long enough to taunt me but I can't be sure. The thing is that ever since I became a slayer my greatest fear has been to have to dust someone I know... no, not so much someone I know, I've had to do that several times already but I've never had to dust someone I love. Sure there was Ford whom I had once counted as a friend and Jesse back when I first came here to Sunnydale, come to think of it, the dusting of that one fell on Xander... on his best friend. In a way I've never wanted to think about it, about what Xander had to do on that particular night, but now I can't help it. I'm hoping my mom will still be alive, I'm preparing for the possibility that she may be dead... and I'm dreading the fact that she may have been turned.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was to shove that sword into Angel... and it took me months to be able to get to that point. Sometimes I still think of the deaths that could have been prevented if I just hadn't hesitated, if I had just dusted him when I had the chance shortly after the Judge had been reassembled. If I had been able to take Angelus out then, would Jenny still be alive? What would have happened with mom and with Giles?

Somehow I seriously doubt they would have gotten together but right now I can't afford to think about that. Right now I have to find my mother, that is the most important thing, the most urgent thing. If the worst has happened, if she's been turned then we are all in big trouble. I am strong, or at least I used to be, but there's no way I'm going to be able to take her out no matter what. Even if she's already dead, even if she's just a corpse that has been taken over by a demon there's no way I'm ever going to be able to destroy her, no way that my hand is going to be the one to shove a stake into her heart... and I don't think Faith or Giles would be able to do it either.

I shake my head. I can't afford to think like that. We are in time, we have to be. In this house we will find my mom and she will be fine, we can't be too late... and we will destroy Kralik for daring to touch her. He will die by my hand though I have no clue as to how I'm going to do it and that terrifies me. Sure, I'm carrying a couple of stakes and I can pinpoint a vampire's heart in my sleep but the truth is that to actually stake someone is not all that easy. It takes a good deal of strength... and right now I'm not really sure whether or not I can pull it off. We can blame mother nature for that little obstacle. The heart is a vital organ and even in a corpse it is surrounded by bone. I know that Willow can stake a vampire, I've seen her do it countless times so I know I should be able to pull it off somehow... though maybe under the circumstances an upward motion would be more effective than the downward one I'm more familiar with. It is not the way in which I usually do it and it may feel more than a little awkward but I'm too weak and the stakes --pun intended-- are too high for me to take that kind of a chance.

I know my mind is going around in circles, I know better than to try and visualize the fight against a specific vamp before I actually see him but I can't help it... especially because I can't sense him. He is holding my mother and I am well aware that right now I'm not myself. I know Faith is with me, I know she will do everything in her power to take him out, I know she is as angry and as scared as I am but she is my mother, this is my kill and Faith knows it.

As soon as we step into the house I have a pretty ugly scare as a vampire, not Kralik, grabs me and I struggle to break free but he has me by the throat and I can't match his strength. I know it should have been possible for me to break free, I know Xander or even Willow would have known how to break his hold but I am **_used_** to relying on my strength. Luckily Faith kept her wits and managed to get him away from me. As soon as he releases me I gesture for Faith to go after him, still determined to take on Kralik myself, even after the painful reminder of just how weak I am.

After hesitating for a fraction of a second Faith nods and does as I ask.

Hopefully there won't be any more surprises. I know I'm in way over my head, I know I probably shouldn't even be here but the fact is that I have no choice. There are drafts and weird echoes all around me, a scent of decay and abandonment that is really creeping me out and a sense of confinement. I hate fighting in close quarters even at the best of times, especially in places where my enemy has the advantage. Here I am feeling completely lost.

As I make my way upstairs a hand reaches up for me from under the stairs and grabs my ankle. I fall, hard, and I feel the blood running down my face but I know I can't stop, not now. He is still holding me and I'm struggling to break free. My hand wraps around something, and almost instinctively I jab at him. Even if I'm not aiming at anything anywhere near his heart he is still distracted enough that I can make it away from him. As soon as I make it to the second floor I see countless doors and I have no way of knowing what awaits behind each of them but I don't have time to think. I need to get away so I make my way into the first room I find. It is incredibly dark but then I turn on the light and almost immediately I wish I hadn't.

Every single inch is covered with countless photos... photos of my mother who is clearly terrified. The good news is that that means she is probably still alive and that offers me a small measure of comfort... and a closer look reveals what looks like a boiler behind her.

I know now where I have to go, I know where she is... the problem is that getting down to the basement won't be easy.

Reluctantly I leave the relative safety of that room and almost immediately I'm confronted with Kralik. He pins me to the wall and I can't break free. I feel him baring my neck and I prepare myself for the pain even as I continue to struggle... and then something happens. I am caught totally off guard when he lets go of me and clutches his head as if he were in pain. I see him struggle to open a bottle of pills and I realize that I've found his weakness. I grab the pills and dive head first into the laundry shuttle. It's not the most dignified way down but it is bound to be the fastest one and I know Kralik is too big to follow, I only hope there will be something down there to break my fall.

There isn't.

I struggle to get up. I've taken a pounding tonight and my body can barely keep on going but then I hear my mom calling my name and I know I can't give up, not yet. I'm tired but it's not just my life that is on the line here. I need to find a way to get us out of here and it can't be by relying on my strength. I need to think. I look around searching for some sort of inspiration and then it hits me... and not a moment to soon, seeing how I can hear Kralik approaching.

A few seconds later he bursts into the basement demanding his pills. I try to get past him but he grabs me and shoves me against the wall... hard, and then he takes the pills from my fingers. I am just about to collapse but I know I can't afford to do that as I see him downing the pills almost by the fist full... and in spite of the pain I can barely keep the smile off my face as he washes them down with a glass of freshly squeezed holy water.


	38. Chapter 38: A Fine Line

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 38: A Fine Line  
(Giles's POV)

Travers is fuming, he can't deny that Buffy has passed the test but he is clearly not happy about it. He is not happy that she survived, he is not happy that I broke the rules and he is certainly not happy with the role Faith had to play in the whole thing. He's just realizing his mistake in not issuing specific instructions for her but of course, by now it's too late. It is only because I am trying to make sense out of too many different emotions that I can keep myself from reacting, from either laughing or lashing out, when I hear him 'congratulate' Buffy and I'm incredibly proud of her when she asks him if she gets a gold star.

I can see that he is still underestimating her anger and I can also see that for the second time he's made the same mistake. He thinks he is safe, he thinks the slayer is weakened and at his mercy... and he hasn't noticed that there is a second slayer in the room, one I can tell is barely managing to contain her anger.

With a small shake of my head I gesture for Faith to stay put. I understand what she is feeling but now is not the time. Travers may think the game is over but the truth is that it's only just begun. I have a few choice words I'd like to say to him myself but for the time being my top priority is to get the girls to calm down so I try to put an end to this confrontation, at least for the time being, unfortunately the fool is not cooperating... and then he tells me I'm fired, that while Buffy has passed the test I have not.

As soon as I hear his words I realize that we are about to move into the next stage of the game, especially because the first thing the fool does after he tells me that I'm fired is to order Faith to go with him. She looks at me, I shake my head and then she says one word and one word only: 'no'.

Travers is totally taken aback by that **_unexpected_** turn of events. It is obvious that he has never thought of a slayer as a living person and this defiance, if it can be called that, comes as a total surprise to him. All of a sudden he is staring at Faith and I can see the hatred in his eyes.

"How dare you refuse me?" he demands, absolutely convinced that obedience is owed to him.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, if you have a problem with that tough shit. You just endangered B and Mrs. S with your stupid little test and **_no one_** fucks with them like that. B may not be in any shape to take you down right now but let me tell you that the only reason you are still standing is because you are hers to hunt. That means that you have one chance to walk out of here, and that is more than you deserve, but you are in no position to be giving me orders."

"By the authority of the Council, you will come with me."

"Sorry, you see, B is the one who was just jumping through your hoops because she turned eighteen, that means I'm a minor and somehow I don't think mom and dad will let me go anywhere with you."

"Your mother is in Boston and you have no contact with her whatsoever so don't you..."

"Actually, my mother **_and_** my father both live here in Sunnydale, if you want I could ask my dad if I can go with you, but somehow I get the feeling that he is not likely to agree."

"What game do you think you are playing, child? You will comply or..."

"It's no game, Travers. Faith is not going anywhere with you. I forbid it," I say with a grin, putting my hand on her shoulder and deeply relieved by the realization that the charade is finally over, that I am now free to go home and start working on rebuilding my relationship with my daughters.

"**_You_** forbid it?"

"I heard him, he didn't stutter and I thought he was clear enough, did you hear him, Faith?" asks Buffy.

"Yups, I heard him loud and clear. Sorry, you heard the man, can't go with you, now would you please leave us alone?"

"Do you think you can keep me from the slayer?" asks Travers, turning to me.

"I think I can keep you from **_my daughter_**."

"Boy, he really doesn't keep up with the news does he?" asks Faith.

"Not even with the old ones," confirms Buffy.

"What is going on here?" all but bellows Travers, seeing our amused expressions.

"What is going on is that you are about to leave Sunnydale and you will never return. You may have fired me but Faith will not go with you," I say.

"You will have no further contact with either slayer and that's an order. A new watcher will be appointed for Ms. Summers and you will **_not_** interfere, as for Ms. Lehane..."

"Actually, it's Ms. Giles," corrects Faith with a smile.

"What does this mean?" asks Travers, looking like a fish out of the water.

"It means that I legally adopted Faith months ago and **_as her father_** I am well within my right to refuse to allow her to go anywhere with you. You will not approach her again."

"You can't do that! She's a slayer and as such..."

"It is done," I say.

"I'll get her still, you can't keep her from me!"

"You better not try anything... not if you don't want to have the existence of the Council exposed."

"Would you betray us? Betray the fight we've been fighting for centuries? Betray everything your family has ever stood for?"

"I no longer work for you, you fired me, though I do find it ironic that you are now so quick to ask for my loyalty when it comes to demanding that I surrender my daughter to you."

"She is not your daughter!"

"She is and just as you were well within your right to fire me, I am well within my right when I forbid my daughter from having any further contact with your institution."

"Ms. Summers, I command you to..."

"You command me to? Sorry but I don't take orders from you. You think you can play your little games with my life? I will never work for you again. You don't own me and you don't control me. You have nothing left to do here so you might as well leave and I'd suggest you take advantage of this opportunity because it is the only one you will be given. I've warned you once not to come near me ever again once I regain my strength and right now the clock is ticking. If you are still here by the time the poison you injected into me is out of my system I will not be held responsible for my actions."

"You are a slayer and as such you must comply with the will of the Council."

"I quit."

"What? You will selfishly abandon the fight your predecessors gave their lives for?"

"No, I'm not abandoning the fight... but then again you don't really represent that fight, do you? Yes, it is my battle, it is a battle I share with my friends and family but it is most definitely **_not_** your battle. You are free to go now but if I were you I'd stay away from Sunnydale. This is my home and this is my fight... I am no longer a child you can hope to control and you are not welcome here. I will fight the good fight for as long as I live and so will Faith but neither you nor your people have any role to play in that battle... you are not the ones we are fighting for.

"You see there are some things I've learned along the way, things you never wanted me to know and one of the most important is the fact that the line between right and wrong, between good and evil, between man and monster, that line is not necessarily the same as the line that separates humans and demons... do you know on which side of the line **_you_** stand?"


	39. Chapter 39: A Matter of Time

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 39: A Matter of Time  
(Giles's POV)

I've never been so proud of Buffy in my life, though I know I still have a long way to go before things are back to normal between us... but at least now I have hope. I was, however, caught somewhat off-guard when Travers caved and walked out of the library without much of an argument after she told him off.

It was pretty apparent by then that he wasn't going to get anywhere by trying to strong-arm the slayers but still I would have expected him to put up more of a fight and the fact that he didn't fills me with dread.

I am not naive, I know this is far from over and I know he has something up his sleeve, just like I do, but for the time being I am relieved by the fact that the immediate threat is gone, that I can finally go home to my wife and daughters and that we no longer have to keep that aspect of our lives a secret. That's a small comfort as we prepare for what I know is about to come.

I look at my girls and I can see that Buffy's forehead is still bleeding, I catch her wince when she tries to clean up her own wound. I take the rag from her hand and focus my attention on the familiar task of taking care of her injuries. How many times have I done this for her before? How many times have I had to patch her up after a rough patrol? I've lost count but it's never been as relevant as it is right now... it's never meant quite this much before. I was all but ready to have her push my hand away and I was deeply relieved when she didn't.

The cut on her forehead is not really worse than what she's had dozens of times but seeing how I've robbed her of her healing it will be a couple of days before it disappears... that's how long it will take for the serum to be completely out of her system. Once I'm satisfied that the wound is clean I help her stand and I take her home where Joyce is waiting for us.

A few minutes later we find ourselves sitting in our own living room.

"So what happens now?" asks Buffy, sounding incredibly tired. I know the fear and the fight against Kralik took a lot out of her and I can see that the adrenaline has all but worn off but she is still determined to do this now.

"What do you mean, B? We won, the bastard's gone and I don't think he's going to be coming back any time soon."

"He fired Giles," she points out

"It's okay, Buffy, I say. I wish it could have been avoided but the truth is that I half expected that much... and the fact is that being free of the Council's shadow means I can focus instead on being the watcher the two of you need me to be. If nothing else it means I no longer have to worry about the Council's traditions and now you are both safe. The Council can no longer touch you."

"That's why you married mom, isn't it? she asks, finally putting the pieces together. That's why you were in such a hurry to adopt Faith, because you knew this was going to happen."

"It was part of the reason, yes. I'm sorry I couldn't say anything to you any sooner, I'm sorry I couldn't warn you but I needed the Council to believe that I was still one of them. I didn't want to take a chance that they would do something against us before we were ready. The thing is that by adopting Faith we effectively placed her out of their reach and they know it. They can't run the risk of coming after us now, not without being exposed themselves. We know too much and they know we know."

"He came after mom."

"I know but that was not supposed to happen... they made a mistake and the test spun out of control. Under normal circumstances they would never have come anywhere near Joyce. You see, when you have a secret that you must protect the first rule is to eliminate those who know it and if getting rid of them is not an option then you should at least try to avoid alienating them.

"Travers knew that he couldn't kill Joyce but he also knew that she was unlikely to reveal the existence of the Council unless she was pushed to the extreme. If Travers coming after your mother had been anywhere near the realm of possibility I would definitely have handled the whole situation differently. You have to believe me when I say I never meant to put her in any danger and, as for your own test, I knew you were going to have Faith watching your back and that meant that you'd be safe. I knew that was something they weren't expecting and I knew you were going to be fine, that's why I went along with them. In the end I knew you were going to be safer if I played along than if I had done anything to trigger a confrontation **_before_** the Cruciamentum. Right now they are gone and while they may not be happy about the way in which things turned out they are convinced it is over."

"So it's really over, right? I mean, they left. They are gone and we are still standing, right?" asks Faith who still seems a little taken aback by everything that has happened in these past few days.

"No it's not over," says Buffy, looking down sadly. "That man will never let us go."

"He may not like it, but what can he do?" asks Faith.

"He can wait."

"What?"

"Yes, he is gone. He left, for now, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's over, explains Buffy, turning to her sister. He may be arrogant but he is not that stupid and he wasn't willing to risk a confrontation he couldn't possibly win but that doesn't mean he is going to give up. You heard him, he is convinced that the slayer actually belongs to him, that the slayer is his tool. He thinks that we should be treated as his own personal property and he is not about to change his mind about that any time soon.

You never met Kendra, she died before you were called, but she was what he thinks a slayer should be. She had no life, she was her watcher's puppet and she lived for the slaying. She was uncomfortable even talking to Xander because she wasn't allowed to have any sort of social life and had never even talked to a boy before... she did what she was told and never questioned her orders. She basically accepted the fact that her life belonged to the Council."

"So, what does that have to do with him being able to wait? You really think he'll be back? We would kick his ass and he knows it," Faith insists, trying to convince herself more than anything else.

"No, I don't think he'll be back but the thing is that he can wait us out. That's all he has to do to regain control and he knows it. I mean, yes, we have an edge because there's two of us and that means that we are less likely to get ourselves killed tomorrow than we would be if there were just one of us but the fact is that as long as the Council keeps taking potential slayers away from their families and training them to be good little soldiers, sooner or later they'll be back in charge. As long as there's two of us we are reasonably safe but we are not immortal and as soon as one of us dies then the life expectancy of the other one will plummet... and when we are gone they'll just pick up where they left off with the next slayer. For Travers it makes no difference if we live one year, five or fifty... okay maybe fifty would be a bit of a problem but even if that were to happen I'm sure there'll be someone there to take his place when the time comes."

"So the bastard still wins?"

"Yes, he still wins says Buffy with a sad smile. We can't leave the hellmouth and he knows it... and sooner or later the hellmouth will win."

"In other words, we are stuck?"

"No, not really" I interrupt. I know Buffy is right, though I am a bit surprised that she's managed to see through Travers's apparent withdrawal as easily as she has.

"You have a plan?" she asks, looking at me.

"Just leave it in my hands. Travers thinks it's over but it's not, not by a long shot."

"That's why you went along with them, isn't it? That's why you agreed to go through with that stupid test."

"Yes, there was no other way, not if I didn't want to tip my hand. We may be stuck here on the hellmouth but we are not alone, far from it. I just needed Travers to let his guard down... and now he has. That means it is time for us to make our move."


	40. Chapter 40: Enemy Mine

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 40: Enemy Mine  
(Giles's POV)

Shortly after I promised them that I had a plan to deal with the Council the girls went up to their rooms, even though it was what could normally be described as 'early' considering their metabolisms... of course, tonight that was not really all that relevant. They are exhausted, especially Buffy who is both hurt and weakened by the drugs in her system. Even though her wounds have been patched up her healing is still off-line and she is having a hard time coping with that. She is not used to the pain not going away and even though she was trying to put up a brave face I could easily see that doing so was taking its toll on her... and after tonight's events it was apparent that Faith wasn't about to let her sister out of her sight any time soon.

The thing is that with the girls safely tucked away for the night the time has come for me to keep my word and do **_something_** about this. The time has come for me to do the only thing I can do to put an end to this once and for all, to do the only thing I can do to ensure not only my slayers' safety but also that of the girls that will someday follow them. I know what I have to do, I don't doubt that this is the right course of action for me to take under the circumstances and I know this is the moment I had been waiting for, the best chance I'm ever going to get to do what has to be done, but that doesn't mean it is an easy thing for me to do.

I'm looking at the phone I hold in my hand, a device that is so deceptively ordinary that at times it is hard to believe how much power it can actually wield... how much a single phone call can change and that's what makes this so hard. I am well aware that the call I'm about to make is necessary but that does nothing to change the fact that at times this whole thing still feels like a betrayal.

I am aware that the Council is too far gone and there's just one way left for me to solve this but I still can't help but wish that there were another way for me to end this... unfortunately I know there isn't, not if I want to keep my girls and the ones who will follow after them safe. In that regard Buffy was right when she said that time is on Travers's side and unless we do something, sooner or later the line will revert back to him or others like him. Even if Buffy and Faith were to live to be one hundred years old they are mortal and that means that in time the line would eventually go back to the Council. I'm not willing to allow that to happen. Yes, if we do nothing they'll eventually regain control but that doesn't mean all is lost, it just means that we have to do something to avoid that particular outcome.

I've known this moment would come for some time now, I've been dreading it ever since shortly after Buffy's return. I think that was the turning point for me, the moment in which I realized that my priority was to protect and guide the girl, not the slayer. After that things almost accidentally fell into place, from Faith's arrival into our lives to Ethan's little stunt with the tainted chocolate and my unexpected relationship with Joyce... and from then on a plan began to take form in my mind, a plan I knew had to be postponed until **_after_** Buffy's Cruciamentum. It was a plan that couldn't really be set in motion until tonight.

The only problem is that even though so far things have unfolded according to plan, that doesn't necessarily mean that we are out of the woods just yet, it doesn't mean that the danger is past or that we will prevail. I am well aware of that fact. The Council is a dangerous enemy and even though from now on the main battle will hopefully be fought by others --others who will be far from here-- that doesn't really mean that we are safe. The fact that the battle will be fought by others in other places doesn't mean we won't be hit by the shock waves and it certainly doesn't mean that we are safe or that we won't be pulled into the resulting chaos.

I know that by having severed our ties with the Council we have made our position as safe as it can be, that with a little luck they won't even connect us to what's coming until it's too late, but at the same time I know better than to rely on luck when there are lives on the line... and especially when those lives are the lives of my daughters.

The thing is that even if Buffy is still trying to come to terms with why I did what I did, even if she is still struggling to understand why I was willing to do what the Council demanded of me, to risk her life, there was a method to my madness, a purpose that made it all worthwhile. I did it to buy us some cover and it worked.

Proving once again that he is a bureaucrat and not a strategist at heart, that he would be completely lost if he were ever to find himself anywhere near the battlefield, Travers left convinced that he had seen everything there was to see in Sunnydale. He left believing that even though for the time being he has lost control of the slayer line, it is only a matter of time before that control is handed back to him. He left convinced that he had fooled us... just as I had hoped he would.

As usual he failed to account for all the variables. He is still convinced that he is up against a renegade watcher and a group of children who don't know what they've gotten themselves into... and he is convinced that just because we are tied to the hellmouth our hands are tied. It was a sense of security I was hoping I'd be able to count on, even though never in my wildest dreams did I expect him to play so easily into my hand.

Yes, my place is here on the hellmouth as is that of my slayers, there's nothing we can do about that. Yes, it is true that by firing me Travers has effectively stripped me of whatever power I might have had once the next slayer is called, but he was so busy looking forward that he never thought to look back. Right now the only thing that's causing me to hesitate, even if it is only for a moment, is the fact that, in spite of everything that's happened, I still find myself reluctant to betray the institution I have sworn to protect.

Even after everything that has happened at times I still find myself having a hard time trying to separate the reality of the Council from the ideal, the corrupt institution from the fight it is supposed to represent, a fight I am still deeply committed to. I know I am in no position to bring down the Council myself, to rid it of men like Travers and to turn it back into what it should always have been but at least I know someone who might be able to get things moving in the right direction... and with a little luck in doing so I may also rid my slayers of yet another threat against their survival.

I am aware of just how ironic this is, how amusing he'll find the thought of me turning to him for help to ensure my slayers' safety after everything that he's done but in spite of the difficulties I know I can count on him... I know he is the **_only_** person I can truly trust to do what has to be done. Even if his actions have at times been misguided, even if he's jeopardized my girls more than once, I am well aware of the fact that he doesn't really hate them, he never has. If anything he pities them for their fate, though he's certainly not above using them to get to me.

I remember back in the old days when he was the golden boy of the watcher academy. Even then it was all a game to him and in the end that's what led to his downfall... of course, for him this is still a game and I do know better than to expect him to change, but in spite of that I know that if he has a chance to reclaim what was once taken from him he will go for it. He may seem like an unlikely hero but the fact remains that very few people can ever hope to understand our fight as well as he does. He knows not only of black and white but also of shades of gray and that is what we need if we intend to prevail in a war that is far more complex than most people would like to believe.

The point is that he understands humans and demons... and he hates Travers and everything he represents. I am well aware that it is more than a little ironic for me to think of him as the ace up my sleeve but that is what he has become... even if he doesn't know it just yet. The truth is that in spite of the problems he's caused me over the years, I still owe him a debt I know I can never repay. For the first time in many years I am truly happy with my life and the fact remains that it is a life I never would have had if it hadn't been for him... and now the time has come for me to help him reclaim the destiny that was stolen from him all those years ago. It is only fair.

Yes, the time has come for me to set things right, to mend some fences, to right a wrong and to deal with the power-mongers who have taken over the Council with a single phone call. I know his battle will be as hard as the one we face every night here on the hellmouth but I also know that if anyone can handle it he can.

Gathering my courage I take a deep breath, close my eyes for a moment and then I dial Ethan's number.

THE END

* * *

**_Author's notes:_**

Okay guys that's it, at least for now. I want to thank you for your encouragement and support as I wrote this thing, I have to admit that this was not an easy story. I know the end may seem a bit abrupt, for anyone who is wondering where that came from, I'd suggest you go back to Chapter 7. This situation was going to be fully explained in the first of two sequels, unfortunately right now both of those sequels are looking more than a little iffy.

The first sequel got scrapped, at least temporarily, because it had too little to do with the slayers themselves and I felt there was not enough material in the show to fully develop a coherent portrait of Ethan. He was shaping up to be a major player in that particular story and that turned into a major obstacle. In addition to that there was the fact that while the plot had some twists I felt were interesting, the outcome itself was too predictable.

The second sequel was supposed to take place during the fifth season of the show and it was going to deal with Joyce's illness and death. My main problem with that one was that I kept getting annoyed with the whole Glory storyline and pushing it aside... which led to something that was reading too much like a soap for my liking because the fact that Buffy and Faith were slayers was reduced to being little more than a footnote. Another problem was that, unlike what happened with this story, I couldn't really avoid the whole issue of Buffy's love life and truth be told I'm not too fond of the idea of having to deal with rabid shippers. I know that's a big part of this particular fandom but I admit it is one that bothers me sometimes and that was a serious deterrent as far as I was concerned when the time came for me to sit down and write part three of this thing.

I haven't entirely ruled out the possibility of writing either one of those stories but the truth is that right now they don't really seem particularly likely, at least not in the short term (if there is an interest I may reconsider though, I do have them planned after all).

A more viable scenario to keep this universe alive would be a series of parallel scenes dealing with the situation between Buffy and the Scoobies. I've had some people complaining that those scenes were missing, but this was not done because I think the Scoobies don't matter but rather because the friendship between Buffy and the Scoobies was not all that relevant to this particular plotline. In addition to that there was the fact that, seeing how the story was told primarily from Giles's POV, there was no real way for me to incorporate that aspect of things without breaking the rhythm. Simply put, those stories had to be told from the POV of Buffy, Xander and Willow. If I do decide to write these side stories, I have to admit that I don't have a clear time frame for when they'd be posted. Unlike what was the case with the two major sequels these short scenes have never been fully planned... of course, since those stories would be mostly a series of standalone ficlets the absence of a defined project doesn't really mean that much.

For the time being I am probably going to take a short break from this universe --in fact my next project is to go torture the characters of a different fandom altogether-- but that doesn't mean I won't be back eventually... and as I said, short fics remain a strong possibility.


End file.
